vix Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Hi, all thoughts would be good. Just a few questions: Have any of you ended a relationship because you were under alot of pressure/stress & couldn't cope with a relationship at the same time? Have any of you been on the receiving end of a partner who ended the relationship because of pressures/stress? If so, what happened & did it work out after space/time?
smile95 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 hey there--me again Yes, mine left due to stress and what his life is like now. He said he could not give me what I needed. He has done this and said this about 6 times....so yes, he comes back. If you love each other, they coome back....however, for me, the 7th times was it for me.....it is too much for me to handle to be back and forth.....but if he loves you, give him the time he needs and one dy he may realize that he loves you and needs you. Jusst do not make the mistake I did and let him walk all over you and take space and come back whenever only to leave again and again and then you are stuck in an emotional cycle!
Author vix Posted September 4, 2005 Author Posted September 4, 2005 Hi beth Mine also said he couldn't give me what i needed, that he was a cold/emotionless nobody, that he didn't have anything left to give to anything/anyone & that he didn't know how he felt (didn't know if he was in love with me anymore). I guess i just want to shake him because i know feelings are still there from speaking to him on Monday & he's just trying to block them. Why?
upsetnhurt Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Vix, Do you really want to simply shake someone into loving you and giving you what you deserve? Probably not! I assure you what you are thinking you see in his words are entirely different than what he is trying to get across. He is apart from you for a reason.....and you need to let him feel the ramifications of his actions. Start NC and try your hardest to stay away. You will always resent him if you are the initiator in this process. Worry about making yourself better.......
Author vix Posted September 4, 2005 Author Posted September 4, 2005 Of course i don't want to shake him into loving me but the whole situation is so frustrating & there's nothing i can do. The things i listed were what he said pretty soon after the breakup when the situation was messy for the both of us. However, when we spoke on Monday for 3 hrs, whilst he said that he thinks he's made the right decision for the time being, he's questioned it numerous times, says he misses me like hell & that when he's ready & sorted all of his problems, he'll want to come back if i'll have him. I hope he does see the ramifications of what he's done & like you say, i don't want to be the initiator. He knows how i feel, he knows the door's open & he knows it's up to him. There's nothing i can do, i'm having another stab at NC & i hope to do better this time (5 days & counting). Thanks
upsetnhurt Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Vix, Try to keep it going. My only concern is that you seem to think you are going through the roughest of times at the moment. That couldn't be farther than the truth. You still are clinging to hope that he will eventually wake up and want to be with you. This hope is giving you some sort of false comfort. People say lots of things yet actions speak louder than words and he is not moving in your direction. I worry that the hurt you feel is going to be 10 times worse when you finally accept that he is not coming back. Just be careful and realize that you are a single free woman just as much as he is. Try to get out and create a life without him.
smile95 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 I agree with upset....I hoped a long time and then it settled in that we were done and it was a shock. It hurt so much. I think you need to live as if he was gone and if he comes back and you still want him, maybe it will work. I know it sux. They say they love you but cannot be with you. Hang in there girl! I am in the same boat and we will make it. I am on day 8 of NC
Author vix Posted September 4, 2005 Author Posted September 4, 2005 You're right, i am still clinging to the hope that he'll be back one day & as much as i try to think otherwise, the hope isn't going away as quickly as i'd like it to. It's a long & complicated one (6 years). I left him after 4 years for the same reasons he's given me & although it took me over a year, i realised the mistake i'd made. He always had hope & i guess with the tables-turned, it'll be the same for me. I understand that actions speak louder than words & that he's not moving in my direction but no-one knows what'll happen in the long-term. Maybe he'll come back & maybe he won't because too much damage has been done - i don't know. I'm alot better than i was 2 months ago & i'm trying to stay strong & positive (thanks Rocko).
jc Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Hey Vix, I've done the breakup-get back together thing too...I think the fact that 2 people would try more than once to make things work means that they do really love each other. It's just that love isn't enough in the end and maybe you guys just aren't meant to be together in the long run. I don't know your situation completely, I just think that you can only try to make something work so many times before you have to realize that it is just not meant to be.
smile95 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Hey Vix, I've done the breakup-get back together thing too...I think the fact that 2 people would try more than once to make things work means that they do really love each other. It's just that love isn't enough in the end and maybe you guys just aren't meant to be together in the long run. I don't know your situation completely, I just think that you can only try to make something work so many times before you have to realize that it is just not meant to be. JC -you are so right....sometimes love is not enough....it seems like is HAS to work, but other things seem to get in the way sometimes.That is why I am finally accepting that I can stilllove him, but know that it would never work out. Vix-remember that everything happens for a reason...at least I believe that.
Mr.positive Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Relationships can be stressfull. If it's to the point where it interfears with your life you have to end it no matter how much you love the person.
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