nospam99 Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 (edited) I'm sure this has been beat to death, but I haven't seen the topic lately. So here goes ... Context: 64 y/o male, 'seaching', using OLD for about 11 months, meeting women, no relationship yet, no practical way to meet women 'organically', only 'history' of meeting women 'organically' is more than 35 years ago and 'the world has changed'. (I've changed, too.) So, first the 'other way'. At my age and in my economic state, other than dating a woman I've already met, 'I don't get out much'. So first, I'm not meeting women aside from OLD AND, something I'm very (maybe too much) sensitive to, I don't want to be a 'creep' by approaching women who are either attached or just not interested in a relationship. The OLD way... As the title I wrote says, OLD is 'supposed to be' a filter to ensure the user that the people (women for me) they see are interested in meeting someone. If this was always true (and at my age I'm finding it's been true if 'we' get to the 'meeting event') it's valuable. No creep behavior for hitting on someone who is either attached or not interested. Of course there are a lot of pitfalls in OLD, too. Flakes, catfish, players (yes, the gals do, too), fakes, liars, damaged goods, crazies. You have to 'weed them out', often by meeting, and that takes time. And a message (or swipe right) is not a meeting is not a date. Plenty of times the 'budding relationship' 'withers'. Demographics matter. For younger people whose social circles still give them good opportunity to meet 'organically', OLD may be only a second option or even not worth the trouble. So my post here is an exercise in thinking out loud. What I've written is pretty much a self-justification for 'why I'm an OLD user'. But also I'm inviting critique. Am I spot on? Am I missing something? Am I just full of --it? Heh.... nospam's soliloquy. Edited August 6, 2018 by nospam99
PRW Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 Well it may be 35 years in the past when the women you are meeting were trying the same thing. So they feel in the same boat. OLD is pretty much what you described for everyone. The approach being creepy comes from confidence. If you don't seem confident it will seem creepy and it will seem creepy if you approach even confidently if it is not couched in a correct context. There are a ton of videos on YouTube about how to not appear creepy. Coach Corey Wayne is one YouTuber that has been a benefit to me.
Slycke Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 I would highly suggest that you try to learn to dance. You can take free lessons at clubs in most large cities, well, in TX anyway. There are always a lot of mature women looking for a partner for the lessons. There used to be a group, PWP, Parents without Partners. I don't know if they are still around, been decades, but they are all single, drinks are cheap, and there were always a lot of mature women in attendance. You can practice the dance steps alone. Get good at it and you will never be alone again. 1
Author nospam99 Posted August 16, 2018 Author Posted August 16, 2018 I would highly suggest that you try to learn to dance. You can take free lessons at clubs in most large cities, well, in TX anyway. There are always a lot of mature women looking for a partner for the lessons. There used to be a group, PWP, Parents without Partners. I don't know if they are still around, been decades, but they are all single, drinks are cheap, and there were always a lot of mature women in attendance. You can practice the dance steps alone. Get good at it and you will never be alone again. LOL - Tks - But .... I'm a very experienced dancer - still doing it - just about my only 'social' interaction with the ladies in between dating partners. My DANCE partner is a lovely, vivacious woman and a fabulous dancer. But we are totally mutually friendzoned for personal reasons. At the dances I attend (in NY rather than TX), ALL the guys can dance, many better than me because they have regular partners to develop 'routines' with. They bring those partners to the dances and don't appreciate 'cutting in'. The unattached females at these dances tend to be high school and college girls practicing their steps - 16 to 22. At 64 with all my children 20-somethings, I feel a bit old for 16-22 or for PWP.
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