Mumra Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 I was at the bar and noticed a gorgeous woman on the other side of the bar. We caught eye contact a couple of times, but I didn't really make much of it. She was with her friend. There were a group of guys next to me, one of which was the boyfriend of the woman's friend. So they made there way over to the group of guys. I was sitting on a stool with my backpack and felt someone's bag hit my backpack. When I turned around it was her. Usually people say excuse me or sorry, but nothing, her back was to me as she was talking to the group. I figured that maybe she didn't feel her bag hit mine. Her bag hit my backpack again, though this time she is behind me. Again, I turn around, but nothing as if she didn't feel her bag hit my backpack. A spot opens up next to me at the bar and she comes to order a drink. I'm thinking to myself, eye contact, bag hitting mine, she made across the bar and finally right next to me, this is my opportunity. I ask her for her name. She replies "I'm just trying to buy a drink." So I took this as if she didn't want to talk. Confusing because she made her way around the bar to right next to me. Then she looks right in my face and smiles. So I ask her for her name again. She gives it this time and I say my name, but I didn't continue. Did she think that I would buy her a drink or did she just not to conversate?
alphamale Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 never buy a drink for a strange woman in a bar. you may as well flush you money down the toilet 3
Author Mumra Posted August 6, 2018 Author Posted August 6, 2018 never buy a drink for a strange woman in a bar. you may as well flush you money down the toilet I didn't buy her a drink. I was just confused that she made her way around the bar right next to me and when I asked her name, she say "I'm just trying to buy a drink." Do you think that she was seeing if I would buy her drink or telling me not to try and conversate?
alphamale Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 I didn't buy her a drink. I was just confused that she made her way around the bar right next to me and when I asked her name, she say "I'm just trying to buy a drink." Do you think that she was seeing if I would buy her drink or telling me not to try and conversate? she was telling you that she wanted to be left alone 1
Author Mumra Posted August 6, 2018 Author Posted August 6, 2018 she was telling you that she wanted to be left alone So they'll make there way all the way across the bar right next to you to be left alone? I'm not a stupid guy, usually men do things like that trying to be subtle but the woman sees us coming a mile away. Right next to me just to reject me?
basil67 Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 So they'll make there way all the way across the bar right next to you to be left alone? I'm not a stupid guy, usually men do things like that trying to be subtle but the woman sees us coming a mile away. Right next to me just to reject me? The logical reason she'd go to the bar next to you would be because the empty seat gave her better access to the bar. And it's very possible that the bartender was serving more quickly/less queue there 1
act00 Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 (edited) Maybe she did expect you to buy her a drink, but she wasn't exactly engaging when she was in your vicinity. You had to ask for her name twice, and she completely ignored that window of opportunity to engage in conversation when she bumped your backpack...twice. But a free drink? Sure. Edited August 7, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator off topic 2
Author Mumra Posted August 6, 2018 Author Posted August 6, 2018 The logical reason she'd go to the bar next to you would be because the empty seat gave her better access to the bar. And it's very possible that the bartender was serving more quickly/less queue there I see your point regarding logic, but when the seat next to me was taken by her friend, she could've still ordered a drink next to her friend. She waited until her friend got up and moved away, leaving the seat next to me empty, to come up to the bar and order. She waited for there to be an opening next to me. When men do things like this it's clear. How come when women do it, we're invalidated as to what we see?
losangelena Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 I'd say that generally, women aren't as obvious as men in this kind of scenario. Also, I don't think her behavior is a reaction to you not buying you a drink. How're you supposed to build rapport with her and buy her a drink if she shuts you down. At the end of the day, who knows what it all meant, but her proximity to you sounds like it's more about your mutual friends than wanting to talk to you, unfortunately. Honestly she sounds a bit rude. 2
Highndry Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 I was at the bar and noticed a gorgeous woman on the other side of the bar. We caught eye contact a couple of times, but I didn't really make much of it. She was with her friend. There were a group of guys next to me, one of which was the boyfriend of the woman's friend. So they made there way over to the group of guys. I was sitting on a stool with my backpack and felt someone's bag hit my backpack. When I turned around it was her. Usually people say excuse me or sorry, but nothing, her back was to me as she was talking to the group. I figured that maybe she didn't feel her bag hit mine. Her bag hit my backpack again, though this time she is behind me. Again, I turn around, but nothing as if she didn't feel her bag hit my backpack. A spot opens up next to me at the bar and she comes to order a drink. I'm thinking to myself, eye contact, bag hitting mine, she made across the bar and finally right next to me, this is my opportunity. I ask her for her name. She replies "I'm just trying to buy a drink." So I took this as if she didn't want to talk. Confusing because she made her way around the bar to right next to me. Then she looks right in my face and smiles. So I ask her for her name again. She gives it this time and I say my name, but I didn't continue. Did she think that I would buy her a drink or did she just not to conversate? As well you should have. She had no interest in you.
fromheart Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 Knocking into you and then responding like that when you offer her a drink, is a sign of bad manners. If a woman wants to talk to you, she wont knock into you and then respond aggressively when you offer her something. Sounds more like she wanted to knock you aside to get to the bar. 1
brigit87 Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 I was at the bar and noticed a gorgeous woman on the other side of the bar. We caught eye contact a couple of times, but I didn't really make much of it. She was with her friend. There were a group of guys next to me, one of which was the boyfriend of the woman's friend. So they made there way over to the group of guys. I was sitting on a stool with my backpack and felt someone's bag hit my backpack. When I turned around it was her. Usually people say excuse me or sorry, but nothing, her back was to me as she was talking to the group. I figured that maybe she didn't feel her bag hit mine. Her bag hit my backpack again, though this time she is behind me. Again, I turn around, but nothing as if she didn't feel her bag hit my backpack. A spot opens up next to me at the bar and she comes to order a drink. I'm thinking to myself, eye contact, bag hitting mine, she made across the bar and finally right next to me, this is my opportunity. I ask her for her name. She replies "I'm just trying to buy a drink." So I took this as if she didn't want to talk. Confusing because she made her way around the bar to right next to me. Then she looks right in my face and smiles. So I ask her for her name again. She gives it this time and I say my name, but I didn't continue. Did she think that I would buy her a drink or did she just not to conversate? She was just trying to buy a drink. Sometimes I'll look at someone if their looking at me just because it's normal to look. It doesn't mean I'm attracted to the guy. She wasn't trying to hurt you in any way but she also had no interest in you.
kendahke Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 To answer the question posed in the title: No. She expected to get close to the bartender and order her own drink and you were most likely looking a little too thirsty and she had to shut you down. So they'll make there way all the way across the bar right next to you to be left alone? I'm not a stupid guy, usually men do things like that trying to be subtle but the woman sees us coming a mile away. Your first mistake is assuming that she had any level of interest in you based on you having interest in her. There is nothing in what you described that would lead me or any other reasonable adult to say that she was trying to get next to you for you and your attention. That part is your imagination when one takes into account her telling you she was only standing next to you to buy a drink---she didn't say "why don't you buy me a drink and I'll answer your question" Right next to me just to reject me? You were the last thing on her mind as she made her way to the only spot at the bar where she could easily get the bartender's attention so she could buy a drink. No woman who has interest in a man is going to be terse with him in her first conversation. She was--that was your cue to let this go. 1
coolheadal Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 (edited) Listen you can buy her the drink or not. Or you can get her to stay with you and talk. Very easy to get them to that. Make her laugh and feel comfortable. You did the right move and reaction. Edited August 7, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Art_Critic Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 Maybe she was trying to get closer to some other guy, she told you she didn't want to talk.. go away in a sense and honestly was kinda rude...
MountainGirl111 Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 OK: So you make eye contact with a gorgeous woman at a bar. etc. She bumps into you with her purse...likely an accident she didn't seem to be aware of. She didn't even notice, so that shows lack of awareness...most people would say, "Oh, excuse me." Then she sits by you and basically gives you the brush off. I don't care how gorgeous she is....she isn't interested and even a bit rude. Why would she be rude? Here's probably why. She is probably used to men hitting on her...she's gorgeous afterall...but it's possible she gets weary of it or has had bad experiences with that so she knows she needs to give men the brush off if she's truly not wanting to engage. My advice: don't get too hung up on gorgeous women. And don't read too much into fleeting eye contact with strangers, no matter how gorgeous they are. You know nothing about this person. She could be married or in a relationship already and that's why she behaved that way. 3
basil67 Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 Why would she be rude? Here's probably why. She is probably used to men hitting on her...she's gorgeous afterall...but it's possible she gets weary of it or has had bad experiences with that so she knows she needs to give men the brush off if she's truly not wanting to engage. . This is very true. It's like how when I was young and I had people calling my phone to ask for money for charities or do surveys. And people on the street coming up to me for the same purposes. Initially I was polite to them, but then it keeps happening and I lost my patience and start getting snippy with them. It's simply about getting really tired of people wanting stuff (money/attention) from you. To sum it up, if you're going to be talking to people uninvited, be aware that they may not be in the mood to bother with you. 1
OatsAndHall Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 You said she's attractive and I'll guarantee she's had guys hit on her at the bar all the time. She's gotten used to being blunt with guys so she can enjoy her evening. Sorry, my friend, she just wasn't into you. I've done my fair share of cold-calling at bars over the years and you got off light with her blunt comment. I was told to go f--- myself after asking a woman if I could buy her a drink once.. 1
alphamale Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 I've done my fair share of cold-calling at bars over the years and you got off light with her blunt comment. I was told to go f--- myself after asking a woman if I could buy her a drink once.. I once asked a girl if she was single and she threw a glass of water in my face
MountainGirl111 Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 I hope it didn't come across like I was invalidating what happened. She sounds like a bi***. Good riddance. No, it doesn't sound like she was expecting you to buy her a drink. I don't know what she was expecting. She probably doesn't know either. haha
Author Mumra Posted August 7, 2018 Author Posted August 7, 2018 I hope it didn't come across like I was invalidating what happened. She sounds like a bi***. Good riddance. No, it doesn't sound like she was expecting you to buy her a drink. I don't know what she was expecting. She probably doesn't know either. haha Your comment was fine MountainGirl111. You gave feedback that was intellectual whether you saw things the way I did or not. I really just think she wanted see if I would say something. Once I did, she got her ego boost and me feel as though I just imagined everything.
MountainGirl111 Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 Yeah, maybe it was just an ego boost for her. Some people are like that.
preraph Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 She kept hitting you with her bag because she was already drunk and oblivious. It had nothing to do with you. She came over there to join her friends. She didn't want you to think anything else so she shut you down immediately. Then you asked again and she probably felt bad and gave her name. But she wasn't flirting with you. Flirting women don't shut men down or hit them with their purse. In the same type scenario (minus the purse lashing), a flirtatious woman might have tapped you on the shoulder and smiled sweetly and said nicely, Do you mind if I get up here beside you so I can order a drink? And then a nice man might say, "Of course not," and then waited to see if she stuck around or not before buying her a drink.
Millie the Cat Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 Maybe next time take a risk and have some confidence to offer to buy her a drink instead of analyze the whole exchange. If you are turned down, then you know. Women want men with confidence, so it's worth it to take the risk.
brigit87 Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 Your comment was fine MountainGirl111. You gave feedback that was intellectual whether you saw things the way I did or not. I really just think she wanted see if I would say something. Once I did, she got her ego boost and me feel as though I just imagined everything. you've put a lot of thought into this exchange and I bet she doesn't even remember you. Pretty women get looked at a lot. You were probably the 100th guy that night that she looked at without interest. Sorry.
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