Coralflower Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 Hey! Just reaching day 30 of no contact... it’s easier but then some days it feels like I’m right back at square one with my emotions. Didn’t start no contact until after a month of stupidly pleading, arguing and trying to reason. Together for just over a year, as time passed arguments became more frequent due to trivial stuff (often caused by me being insecure) but some things were warranted due to his behaviour.. not sure if he’s a narcissist but he definitely had narcissistic traits such as superiority, a need to be the best, vanity and at times I felt like he’d chosen me as some kind of trophy girlfriend. Deep down you could tell he was really insecure. Mutual friends told me before I met him he was always trying to hit on women but often got rejected or friend zoned, not that it has much to do with the situation. He was usually the one to come back first the next day from fights but 2 months ago, yet another big fight and after not contacting each other for a week, he ended it. All contact after that was initiated by me (once a week) to try and win him back but that usually ended in a war of words or him purposely ignoring me while I fired more messages, all the while he was keeping busy, having fun etc. I also know how busy he was, had lots going on so was quite stressed throughout the relationship. Eventually we agreed to meet outside my work place, where in a nutshell he told me the fights were getting too much, he’s made his final decision but still wants to be friends but then said “we don’t know what the future holds, you never know”. That was that. I told him I wasn’t going to wait for him and agreed on friendship (reluctantly) before he left, but decided I was done trying to keep a sinking ship afloat so stopped initiating contact. He hasn’t tried to reach out either and part of me thought he would and we could have worked on things. Do I still have hope of him reaching out or do you think he’s given up on me, seeing that it’s been 30 days NC and two months since the actual break up?
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 What were all these fights about, exactly? And how frequently were they occurring? Arguing often is draining and a valid reason to break up, as it points to some deeper compatibility and communication problems.
basil67 Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 You've got a lot of criticisms of him - why would he come back to you if you viewed him this poorly?
Author Coralflower Posted August 5, 2018 Author Posted August 5, 2018 Fights were happening every couple of weeks. Usually about not spending enough time together, him getting at me for being between jobs (IÂ’m since employed), I was driving him around everywhere and he wasnÂ’t contributing, he had a birthday party earlier this year and I wasnÂ’t invited which he apologised for after as he thought it was going to be just family only, he didnÂ’t get on with my brother and was criticising him to me a lot. The rest seemed to be me arguing with him for not caring about me. As I said l, stupid issues. He has a child from a previous relationship, which has never been an issue but it took up a lot of his free time and I wanted to be more included - I feel remorseful now for putting pressure on him during these times. The criticisms of him are something I only see when looking back on things now that weÂ’re broke up, I never expressed them to him but I still miss him and he was still very sweet when times were good.
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