Thingsfallapart Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 I broke up with an ex 11 months ago. The break up was pretty bad. She cheated on me and got with the guy she cheated with. She tagged me along for 4 months lying to me about her cheating and being with the other guy (who is long distance)... After the 4 months of tagging along I saw the light and went NC... 4 months of NC I get a message on Facebook “Hi, I know you don’t want to hear from me but I hope you’re doing ok” I ignored. I got three more messages “Thanks for ignoring me” “Don’t worry I won’t contact you again” “I just wanted to know if you’re happy. If you’re happy, I am happy too” I ignored all of these messages because she is poison and I’m in a new relationship now... I blocked her on Facebook because I didn’t want to hear from her... However after 6 months of NC I get a long rambling message to my gmail telling me that she isn’t wanting forgiveness and she knows she hurts me and she just wants me to remember the good times we had... My question is; why is she continuing to send me these kinds of messages so after NC and after I’m ignoring everything and obviously don’t want to hear from her. She is still in a long distance relationship with the guy she cheated on me with... Why doesn’t she just let it go?
MountainGirl111 Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 Maybe she has a guilty conscience? Maybe she would feel better if she knows you're happy. I don't know. Could be anything. Women tend to hang onto things longer than men do. They take longer to process things; longer to come to a decisive turn and longer to move on with concrete plans.
Author Thingsfallapart Posted August 4, 2018 Author Posted August 4, 2018 63 people read and only 1 comment? Surely some of the wiser veterans out there can give me some kind of perspective?
Whodatdog Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 It really doesnt matter why shes doing it. You already said you are in another relationship, so just continue to ignore her. She's probably inbetween relationships and throwing some bait to see if you'll bite.
Normm Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 63 people read and only 1 comment? Surely some of the wiser veterans out there can give me some kind of perspective? Lots of people read threads without commenting, it's nothing personal. My opinion is why do you care what she's thinking and why she's thinking it. Block her and move on with your life. She's not worth the effort.
ThreeRainbows Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 You're already in another relationship. I wouldn't mess with that. However, if you were single, the best you could do (assuming you wanted her back) is to text, "Unless you're asking to get back together, please stop contacting me. Thanks." Cuts the chase.
Marc878 Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 She looking for ego kibble that she still matters. Continue to ignore. Never crack the door for a cheater. 2
ThreeRainbows Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 She looking for ego kibble that she still matters. Continue to ignore. Never crack the door for a cheater. Ooo, oh yeah. Second that.
BC1980 Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 Probably guilt, and people don't like to be ignored. I mean, I agree with you ignoring her though. It's best to just not answer. She knew you didn't want to talk to her, but she messaged you anyway.
MountainGirl111 Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 I wouldn't read too much into it. She's likely at least curious. Most people are curious about former BF/GF. You're in a new relationship now, so perhaps focus on that. Unless you're really not over her....which is very possible. It was fairly recent, right?
ThreeRainbows Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 “Thanks for ignoring me” “Don’t worry I won’t contact you again” “I just wanted to know if you’re happy. If you’re happy, I am happy too” Honestly. These messages are very passive aggressive. She sounds so toxic. This is not love. This is ego.
fromheart Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 Just keep moving on. She probably wants validation that she isn't a horrible person, which she is, and would like to waste yet more of your time. She'd probably be open to cheating on him with you. There's attraction to cheating for cheaters, that's why they do it. Better to put this one out with the other toxic garbage, you don't need it in your life. 1
sdraw108 Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 It really doesnt matter why shes doing it. You already said you are in another relationship, so just continue to ignore her. This. Why do you care? You're in a new relationship. You should spend all of about 5 seconds on this - delete, block, move on.
overcome Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 She cheated on you and strung you along. You owe her nothing. Focus on your current relationship and don't waste your time thinking about this. But if you want to know why she's doing this, everyone on here is just guessing. No one really knows. She may not even know. But if I had to guess, I would say it's because she feels guilty or perhaps things are not going well with this LDR she has. Do yourself a huge favor and continue with NC. Continue to block. This person is just a past chapter in a book you once read. No need to read it again.
nodramallama Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 She's feeling guilty about cheating, and she's trying to re-establish contact with you in order to make herself feel better. After all, if you did respond to her, that means that you have forgiven her (in her mind) and she can't be that bad of a person, right? It's a manipulative tactic and nothing has changed. It's all about her and her ego.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 She probably wants to check if you'd still be available to her if she and her boyfriend don't work out. This is about her ego. Don't respond.
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