Pregnant, no interest.

[Hurting.]

Hi

 

So I am not sure if im going to come off and sound like a bad person here but I need to vent the truth and get some opinions.

 

I am 28 and I had a one time thing with a girl, I didn’t really know her and she’s only 20 years old. I messaged her a bit after and met with her again for a drink but unfortunately I have no interest in her. Not romantically or physically to be honest.

 

3 days after seeing her, yesterday. She tells me she is pregnant and has taken 2 tests and is sure of it as she was feeling sick in the mornings. This is 10 days after I slept with her.

 

I don’t want anything to do with a baby, not in the slightest.

I need to also mention the fact I am a gambling addict 5 months in recovery but known to slip up. I have no money and pay off gambling debts to all different companies every month. And with the little money i have left I like to go out with mates on the weekend and enjoy drinks.

 

She’s told me and wants to through with it as it’s apparently something she’s wanted for a long time. I can’t think of a better way to turn my world upside down. I don’t like kids. I don’t want kids. I can’t support kids.

 

I know I should have took precautions and only myself to blame, id had some drinks and lost my best judgement, and the sex was very short and I didn't even ejaculate so it’s thrown me badly.

 

I don’t know what to do. I was tipping her to not go through with this. I can’t!!!!

 

FYI. She said she's on the pill

Edited August 2, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[ThreeRainbows]

For starters, it's not necessarily yours. You will want a DNA test if she goes through with it. There's a good chance it's not you, as she does sleep around, and you didn't ejaculate. In fact, with a 10 day later test, it's almost not yours. A woman must be ovulating when you have sex. That happens (for most of us) around day 14 of our cycle. Our cycle ends on day 28. Pregnancy isn't usually confirmed until that time, or later. Even with super sensitive tests, that advertise "6 days before your period! " (yeah right), that would be day 22. It is possible, but not likely.

 

 

Why would she be testing before her period unless she was trying for a baby? If she wasn't trying, she would probably not test until she missed her period.

 

 

Oh, and the morning sickness? That doesn't start until about 6 weeks in.

[brigit87]

Hi

 

So I am not sure if im going to come off and sound like a bad person here but I need to vent the truth and get some opinions.

 

I am 28 and I had a one time thing with a girl, I didn’t really know her and she’s only 20 years old. I messaged her a bit after and met with her again for a drink but unfortunately I have no interest in her. Not romantically or physically to be honest.

 

3 days after seeing her, yesterday. She tells me she is pregnant and has taken 2 tests and is sure of it as she was feeling sick in the mornings. This is 10 days after I slept with her.

 

I don’t want anything to do with a baby, not in the slightest.

I need to also mention the fact I am a gambling addict 5 months in recovery but known to slip up. I have no money and pay off gambling debts to all different companies every month. And with the little money i have left I like to go out with mates on the weekend and enjoy drinks.

 

She’s told me and wants to through with it as it’s apparently something she’s wanted for a long time. I can’t think of a better way to turn my world upside down. I don’t like kids. I don’t want kids. I can’t support kids.

 

I know I should have took precautions and only myself to blame, id had some drinks and lost my best judgement, and the sex was very short and I didn't even ejaculate so it’s thrown me badly.

 

I don’t know what to do. I was tipping her to not go through with this. I can’t!!!!

 

FYI. She said she's on the pill

 

It's probably not yours but TBH a 20 year old girl is too young for you.

[Hurting.]

Thanks for your reply. It comforts me a little but she’s saying I can buy tests and she’ll do it in front of me to prove it.

 

My head is completely gone. So, if we had sex. Let’s jusy say 2 weeks ago. A pregnancy test wouldn’t show you say?

She says I was first person she’s slept with in a year for god sake.

[brigit87]

Thanks for your reply. It comforts me a little but she’s saying I can buy tests and she’ll do it in front of me to prove it.

 

My head is completely gone. So, if we had sex. Let’s jusy say 2 weeks ago. A pregnancy test wouldn’t show you say?

She says I was first person she’s slept with in a year for god sake.

 

I have no idea if it would show it. If you really were the only one she slept with in the last year then of course it would be yours but I don't believe her.

 

Even if a girl says she on a pill you must still wear a jacket.

[No_Go]

sex was very short and I didn't even ejaculate

 

10 days after I slept with her

 

For the above two quotes - it is VERY unlikely she's actually pregnant from you. I highly doubt as the other poster said she could have even detected it that early, and if you didn't ejaculate - the chances are virtually null (except if you ejaculated shortly before and there was sperm left in your urethra, but again - veeeery unlikely).

 

Go with her to her obgyn appointment - they can tell how old the embryo is (if there is one at all, I feel like she's BSing you)

 

Hi

 

So I am not sure if im going to come off and sound like a bad person here but I need to vent the truth and get some opinions.

 

I am 28 and I had a one time thing with a girl, I didn’t really know her and she’s only 20 years old. I messaged her a bit after and met with her again for a drink but unfortunately I have no interest in her. Not romantically or physically to be honest.

 

3 days after seeing her, yesterday. She tells me she is pregnant and has taken 2 tests and is sure of it as she was feeling sick in the mornings. This is 10 days after I slept with her.

 

I don’t want anything to do with a baby, not in the slightest.

I need to also mention the fact I am a gambling addict 5 months in recovery but known to slip up. I have no money and pay off gambling debts to all different companies every month. And with the little money i have left I like to go out with mates on the weekend and enjoy drinks.

 

She’s told me and wants to through with it as it’s apparently something she’s wanted for a long time. I can’t think of a better way to turn my world upside down. I don’t like kids. I don’t want kids. I can’t support kids.

 

I know I should have took precautions and only myself to blame, id had some drinks and lost my best judgement, and the sex was very short and I didn't even ejaculate so it’s thrown me badly.

 

I don’t know what to do. I was tipping her to not go through with this. I can’t!!!!

 

FYI. She said she's on the pill

[No_Go]

Thanks for your reply. It comforts me a little but she’s saying I can buy tests and she’ll do it in front of me to prove it.

 

My head is completely gone. So, if we had sex. Let’s jusy say 2 weeks ago. A pregnancy test wouldn’t show you say?

She says I was first person she’s slept with in a year for god sake.

 

Buy her a test that shows weeks of pregnancy (Clearblue digital) and ask her to do it in front of you. Number of weeks count btw from the first day of last menstruation, no the day of sex.

[ppc]

Hi

 

So I am not sure if im going to come off and sound like a bad person here but I need to vent the truth and get some opinions.

 

I am 28 and I had a one time thing with a girl, I didn’t really know her and she’s only 20 years old. I messaged her a bit after and met with her again for a drink but unfortunately I have no interest in her. Not romantically or physically to be honest.

 

3 days after seeing her, yesterday. She tells me she is pregnant and has taken 2 tests and is sure of it as she was feeling sick in the mornings. This is 10 days after I slept with her.

 

I don’t want anything to do with a baby, not in the slightest.

I need to also mention the fact I am a gambling addict 5 months in recovery but known to slip up. I have no money and pay off gambling debts to all different companies every month. And with the little money i have left I like to go out with mates on the weekend and enjoy drinks.

 

She’s told me and wants to through with it as it’s apparently something she’s wanted for a long time. I can’t think of a better way to turn my world upside down. I don’t like kids. I don’t want kids. I can’t support kids.

 

I know I should have took precautions and only myself to blame, id had some drinks and lost my best judgement, and the sex was very short and I didn't even ejaculate so it’s thrown me badly.

 

I don’t know what to do. I was tipping her to not go through with this. I can’t!!!!

 

FYI. She said she's on the pill

 

I barely think that this could be your child. 10 days after sex it's impossible, that she had positive test ... I dont know about so sensitive test , what can say this. And if you didnt ejaculate the chances are even more less.

I would not be worried.

[ThreeRainbows]

Thanks for your reply. It comforts me a little but she’s saying I can buy tests and she’ll do it in front of me to prove it.

 

My head is completely gone. So, if we had sex. Let’s jusy say 2 weeks ago. A pregnancy test wouldn’t show you say?

She says I was first person she’s slept with in a year for god sake.

 

 

When exactly was the last time you had sex? 10 days ago or 2 weeks (14 days) ago?

 

 

If it was 10 days ago, no, it would not likely show yet. But anything is possible.

 

 

If it was 14 days ago, yes, it could be possible. That doesn't make it likely.

 

 

Morning sickness does not start until 6 weeks pregnant, not likely at 4 weeks (which is what she would be) *Fixed this.

 

 

In any case, all you can do is make sure there is a DNA test.

Edited August 2, 2018 by ThreeRainbows

[ThreeRainbows]

Buy her a test that shows weeks of pregnancy (Clearblue digital) and ask her to do it in front of you. Number of weeks count btw from the first day of last menstruation, no the day of sex.

 

 

Great idea.

 

 

However, if that comes up positive and at 4 weeks, it just means someone got her pregnant this month. That does not mean it was you, necessarily.

[MountainGirl111]

I think she's full of it, TBH. She's on the pill? Yeah, right, don't know if I buy that one either.

 

However.....why would you have sex with someone you are not interested in or attracted to?

[preraph]

You won't be able to do the DNA test on the baby until it's born, in all likelihood, so you've got to wait. Just doing your DNA won't prove anything. At least that's the last I heard. I mean, how do you get the baby's DNA. Just getting the mother's DNA won't prove a thing.

[Whodatdog]

Can I Get a Paternity Test While Pregnant?

 

Yes, you can get a paternity test while pregnant, and the safest way to do so is with a Non-Invasive DNA Prenatal Paternity test (NIPP). This test requires only a blood sample from the mother and a simple cheek swab from the possible father, and can be performed as early as eight (8) weeks into the pregnancy.

[basil67]

Thanks for your reply. It comforts me a little but she’s saying I can buy tests and she’ll do it in front of me to prove it.

 

My head is completely gone. So, if we had sex. Let’s jusy say 2 weeks ago. A pregnancy test wouldn’t show you say?

She says I was first person she’s slept with in a year for god sake.

 

She may say you're the first person in a year, but that doesn't make it true.

 

The dates simply don't line up. Not to mention that 10 days after falling pregnant is too soon for morning sickness. I'd be betting that this pregnancy happened a week or two before you came along.

 

I like the idea of having her take the test which shows how many weeks along the pregnancy is. Have her take that one in front of you.

[Thingsfallapart]

OP,

 

Do not convince the girl to have an abortion because it’s 99% not your baby. Don’t have something like that on your conscious.

This girl is obviously a compulsive liar and I would take everything she says with a pinch of salt.

Don’t sweat it and wait to find out out.

She may not even be pregnant: She might be lying about that also.

But if she is there’s a very very very slim chance it’s yours

[Hurting.]

So she sent me a photo of a pregnancy test saying pregnant and she’s got her mum involved also.

 

When I suggested she must have missed a pill she went crazy one me accusing her of lying and to not even suggest such a thing.

 

Sorry to be crude but it wasn’t barely sex as it would really fit so it was about a 10 second encounter which hurt her too much so we stopped. I didn’t ejacrulate.

 

This is making me sick as anything. I can’t have a child I can’t even afford to look after myself with my massive gambling debts.

[act00]

It is possible to experience nausea or "morning sickness" very early in a pregnancy (around 2 weeks), but assuming it was morning sickness that prompted her to take a test, she would have had to experience these symptoms for a couple days to prompt her to take the test, so the timing is definitely off.

 

On that, it only takes one good and hearty sperm...

 

I think your only choice here is to take this seriously and insist on a noninvasive paternity test (8 weeks), and you will probably have to cover 100% of the cost. If she's faking or the pregnancy is the result of another man, she will make excuses to avoid or no-show appointments (I don't know if I would bother with OTC kits at this point). Never give her cash, but pay the provider directly, and go to this appointment for paternity testing together. If she's faking this pregnancy or the pregnancy is the result of another sexual encounter, she will avoid any such testing like the plague and expect you to just take her at her word. The only other option is to insist on paternity testing after the baby is born.

[brigit87]

So she sent me a photo of a pregnancy test saying pregnant and she’s got her mum involved also.

 

When I suggested she must have missed a pill she went crazy one me accusing her of lying and to not even suggest such a thing.

 

Sorry to be crude but it wasn’t barely sex as it would really fit so it was about a 10 second encounter which hurt her too much so we stopped. I didn’t ejacrulate.

 

This is making me sick as anything. I can’t have a child I can’t even afford to look after myself with my massive gambling debts.

 

 

Look it's not yours but even if it was you'll deal with it at the time.

 

Right now it seems you have a bad gambling addiction and that's definitively yours. Maybe take care of that?

[FMW]

The question isn't is she pregnant. The question is who is the father. Seems like there is a lot of reasonable doubt it is you. Don't be guilted or shamed into taking responsibility.

 

Keep communication lines open but tell her you require proof, a paternity test at whatever reasonable and safe (for her and the baby) time that is.

[No_Go]

So she sent me a photo of a pregnancy test saying pregnant and she’s got her mum involved also.

 

When I suggested she must have missed a pill she went crazy one me accusing her of lying and to not even suggest such a thing.

 

Sorry to be crude but it wasn’t barely sex as it would really fit so it was about a 10 second encounter which hurt her too much so we stopped. I didn’t ejacrulate.

 

This is making me sick as anything. I can’t have a child I can’t even afford to look after myself with my massive gambling debts.

 

C’mon unless she do the test in front of you I don’t believe she’s pregnant and even if she is, 100% NOT yours from all that you said unless you skewed some of the information.

[Hurting.]

Worst case. Let’s say she is pregnant and it is mine.

 

Does it make me a bad person if I push for an abortion ? I can’t hsbr a child. I’m up to my eyeballs in debt. I’d rather stick £300 on a horse than my child and I don’t want one !!!

 

I’m so anxious and scared by this. I cannot believe this can be happening.

[ThreeRainbows]

Worst case. Let’s say she is pregnant and it is mine.

 

Does it make me a bad person if I push for an abortion ? I can’t hsbr a child. I’m up to my eyeballs in debt. I’d rather stick £300 on a horse than my child and I don’t want one !!!

 

I’m so anxious and scared by this. I cannot believe this can be happening.

 

 

If it was yours, no you should not push her for an abortion. That is her decision. You can't push someone to do something to their body like that. Best you could do is give your informed opinion, but never push. You could also suggest adoption (which also happens to be so much more humane, if you ask me).

 

 

But I wouldn't even go there. This baby isn't yours from the sound of it, unless you are not telling us everything.

[MidwestUSA]

So she sent me a photo of a pregnancy test saying pregnant and she’s got her mum involved also.

 

When I suggested she must have missed a pill she went crazy one me accusing her of lying and to not even suggest such a thing.

 

Sorry to be crude but it wasn’t barely sex as it would really fit so it was about a 10 second encounter which hurt her too much so we stopped. I didn’t ejacrulate.

 

This is making me sick as anything. I can’t have a child I can’t even afford to look after myself with my massive gambling debts.

 

 

This is going to be difficult, but you're just going to have to sit back and let this play out. Take a breath. Try not to fall into your gambling habit to soothe yourself.

 

I'm 56 years old, and I'm telling you this girl is full of something, and it's not a fetus.

 

Is there any way you can snoop around and learn anything about this chick's history? Facebook, friends? She might be a lunatic (which works in your favor).

 

Breathe in, breathe out.

[Whodatdog]

Until you take a DNA test, which you can do in a few weeks, Id stop with the drama and just wait. It sounds like its likely she could be pregnant, but it sounds like the timeline is way off for it to be yours. Maybe she already knew she was pregnant, and the guy already ran off and she's looking for some guy to blame it on. Im not even sure why she was taking a pregnancy test 10 days after having so called sex with you, without even waiting until she missed a period.

 

Doesnt pass the sniff test to me

[grays]

I don't want to make you more worried, but if she conceived multiples, her hcg levels would be higher than with a single and she'd be feeling morning sick sooner.

 

You definitely can't force or coerce her to abort, but I do think your opinion matters and should be heard. I think it's okay to advocate stongly for an abortion.