Woggle Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Why is it that people who are in very happy relationships or marriages always seem to say they met their partner when they were not looking for anybody? I notice this thing with both men and women. Until I met my current partner I pretty much hated the entire female gender and the last thing I wanted was a relationship but lo and behold I met a woman who changed all that. Is it because when we are not looking we take down the facade and we are just more willing to be ourselves so when we do meet the one it is an attraction based on honesty and not the usual role people play to impress another person. Just wanted to see what people thought of this. It just seems weird that when people stop looking is when they meet somebody good.
Art_Critic Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 I think that when we stop looking we give up on the idea of someone else making us happy. We learn to make ourselves happy living alone and single. When we are truly happy we exude the happiness and attract people because everybody likes to be around happy people
RainyDayWoman Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 I think that when we stop looking we give up on the idea of someone else making us happy. We learn to make ourselves happy living alone and single. When we are truly happy we exude the happiness and attract people because everybody likes to be around happy people i think art critic is absolutely right. i also think that when you are actively looking for someone, you might make a person out to be better than they are simply because you want them to be. when you're not actively looking, they are what they are, and you can take it or leave it.
BigB Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 I think Critic is right. I pretty much stopped trying to meet girls, and in the past month I've met 2.
FataMorgana Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 I think that when we stop looking we give up on the idea of someone else making us happy. We learn to make ourselves happy living alone and single. When we are truly happy we exude the happiness and attract people because everybody likes to be around happy people very good summary ArtC, so true. Also maybe, when one looks around, somehow are and can appear more desperate and that can put some people off. Whereas when one is not, more relaxed, happy and as Woggle said, "more willing to be oneself" which in most cases is good. I can only think of a parallel in my own behaviour. When I think I am not interested in someone I am really friendly, chatter box, easygoing, doing everything for others not expecting much back, etc. which is a lot more attractive to the other person. As soon as I realise I am interested in someone (or actively looking), somehow my behaviour changes and I become so much more guarded, paranoid about what they think, things I do, say... expect? Maybe change in expectations also has to do with it... anoys me to death, wish I could change this! anyone out there who can relate?
Mz. Pixie Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Woggle???? You found someone??? What happened to all women are crap and all that nonsense??? Seriously, I'm thrilled for you.........
Author Woggle Posted September 6, 2005 Author Posted September 6, 2005 Woggle???? You found someone??? What happened to all women are crap and all that nonsense??? Seriously, I'm thrilled for you......... I found a woman who is in the 5%.
alphamale Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Is it because when we are not looking we take down the facade and we are just more willing to be ourselves so when we do meet the one it is an attraction based on honesty and not the usual role people play to impress another person.. yes, the above along with the fact that you don't come off as desperate or needy which in and of itself makes one much more attractive.
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