cookie411 Posted September 3, 2005 Posted September 3, 2005 I have posted threads on this site a few times about my LDR with my current bf.And your advise has helped me some so far, but I really need some extremely helpful advice right now. Ok my bf lived in NEW ORLEANS.........so he lost his home in Katrina.luckily him and his mother and father left before it hit.So he has kinda been on edge since.I don't blame him or anything it's just lately he has been getting mad at me for no reason.I am trying to be there for him (as best I can) but he has been saying things that cut me deep.I love him to death and I want to marry him and have my children with him but it seems to me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. And when we get into arguements its:"u got a home, u got a ruff over your head, I am homeless." And it hurts me when he says that because it is the truth.I hate to hear him cry and feel alone.And I hate that he feels that I don't give a damn about him and what he is going through.I wish I could take all his pain away.I wish I could hold him but he is now in Mississippi.He will be there for a month but his sister and his nephew are moving to my city.He asked me last night did I want him to come and I asked him why would he ask me that?he knows that I want him here and that I would give everything and do anything for him.wait.................or does he? He thinks that I am going to leave him in his time of need.He doesn't think that I am there for him.But I honestly try to be.As much as possible.It seems to me that he has been trying to break it off.But I don't want to leave him in this state that he has been in since Katrina.I love him with all my heart and I believe he does to but I don't know what the deal is anymore.Someone please help me out..........................SOMEONE....................ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RecordProducer Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 he knows that I want him here and that I would give everything and do anything for him.wait.................or does he? Does he? I guess you should tell him that all the time until he understands. Perhaps you should ask him too if he is in love with you or is this just an excuse to break up with you.
Jtizzle Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 thats probaly his subtle way of askin you can he live with you..i know that if my bf stayed in NO and that happened i would be like you know what why dont you come here to live.. i dont know your situation, do you have a roommate? live with your parents? if you live alone, him lashing out at you could be that he wants you to be like well come stay with me and ill help you out..thats the only thing i can think of..this type of stuff really tests the relationship..sort of a ill be there for you no matter what things..
RecordProducer Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 thats probaly his subtle way of askin you can he live with you.. Bingo! I think Jtizzle is right. this type of stuff really tests the relationship..sort of a ill be there for you no matter what things.. Very true. If you think he is the one and want to marry him, this is your chance to prove how much you love him. If you fail to offer him more than words, to help him when he needs you, your relationship will be doomed.
Jtizzle Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Very true. If you think he is the one and want to marry him, this is your chance to prove how much you love him. If you fail to offer him more than words, to help him when he needs you, your relationship will be doomed. yip spoken just right...if you just offer words, oh im sorry that happened ill pray for you, blah blah..yea thats the nice thing to say, but if your in a relationship with someone or you say you love them, then you should be breakin ya back to help them in their time of need. now it could be a different situation if he gambled his house away or something where he was in the wrong, but if it was a natural cause which could happen to anybody lending a hand, be it payin for a hotel room for him or helping him find a job, or giving him a place to stay or send some kind of money or just something to help him get on his feet.. now if the roles were reversed and it was YOU that was in this storm and yall were in love and whatnot, you would be thinkin he should offer his place to you since you have nowhere else to go. and if he didnt then you would be like bytchin and whanot at him just as he is doing with you... you would think if he loves me he would do something to help me out..im assuming your grown, and he shouldnt have to spell out, " I NEED YOUR HELP"..you should figure that out on your own, but not to bash you though, everyone gets sidetracked and confused etc. but from what your saying, you should be a nice gf, and help him in his time of need..this is so called the man you want to marry and have your children, what better way of telling a love story to your children ten yrs from now or so..if this is the man you want to marry, then you should step up and act like a wife now, this is what marriage is all about, helping each other in one's time of need..hope you do the right thing.. keep us posted
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