seixal Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 (edited) Hello all, I met this girl on OLD and we've been talking for a year. We met once and it went pretty well. Lately we've been talking more about how to make our relationship take the next step which means getting closer. It may sound fast but we're both in our 30's already. I don't speak Japanese at all and her English is very decent. I know she wants to leave Japan and move to an English-speaking country as he lived in Australia and England for a few but wasn't able to secure a permanent move due to visa restrictions each time. We've been talking about getting married as a way for her to be able to move to the US. Though I understand she wants a green card, I know that is not the only thing she's interested in. Now, sponsoring a spouse for a green card is lengthy, costly and complex. For 2 years, you're monitored by the immigration services. The state makes you financially accountable for the person you bring from overseas. As the US citizen, you are required by law to provide for them regardless of whether they can't or refuse to work. Furthermore, this Japanese girl works there as a secretary and doesn't have marketable professional skills. It seems to me that she is hoping to be a housewife/SAHM, which in case of a divorce would result in a financial ruin for me, and a nice monthly check in the mail for her. I tried suggesting employment based visas that she can apply to without my help, since I believe it would a good compromise to test the waters before moving forward. She turned down those options stating "there is no guarantee she would get one, or have it renewed upon expiration". I have the feeling she wants the easy and fast route, she's 34 still lives with her parents and her mum still cooks for her and does her laundry. She's not used to having to work for for things. I used to be very pleased by this relationship but I am not feeling very iffy about the whole situation. Accepting to sponsor her for a green card could turn out financially disastrous for me. What do you think? Thank you for your input. Edited August 1, 2018 by seixal
carhill Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 When was the last time she visited you and how long did she stay? Reverse, for you. I generally stayed in-country (FSU in my case) for about a month each time I visited, usually around holiday periods so to have more personal time with no work intrusions. I figured a couple years of periodic visits before giving anything as serious as a K1 a go. I ended up meeting and marrying someone local to me but did spend a bit over a year looking internationally. I wouldn't even consider sponsoring someone who hadn't demonstrated over a long period of time that they were everything I wanted in a spouse, and the reverse. Green card convenience marriages can also be immigration fraud and with all the stuff going on right now with immigration I'd want to steer clear of that stuff. Usually time reveals all truths.
Artdeco Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 The problem is that you don’t know her well enough. Have you guys even met? Marriage is always a risk, so at least know the person well before you commit! In addition to this, if you sponsor and marry her (and that’ll be the only way for her to get a green card, which will include a work permit, once granted), you’ll be liable financially in case you split, should she apply for social benefits (food stamps, unemployment money, etc.). If she works after a potential divorce, you’re good, but if not, and she has to rely on govt support, you’ll be liable for a total of 10 years. You’ll have to pay the govt back every penny. It is not likely she’ll get a work permit / residence in the US without marriage. She has no skills that are sought after. And even then it’s hard, unless her employer wants to transfer her (provided she works for an Int’l company with ties to the USA, like a subsidiary, or US headquarters and such).
Gaeta Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 It's a definite NO. Let me tell you about my cousin that had the brilliant idea of marrying a foreign woman so she could get her Canadian papers. She doesn't work or care to work, she called the police on him at some point, he was removed from his own property, now he is living with his sister, he is unable to access his own house because she lives in it. He has to keep maintaining all of her expenses. She must be laughing at him so hard.
Gretchen12 Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 You are looking internationally, so at least a year ago you already knew the parameters. Why waste a year talking if you have no intention of bringing her here? Of course if you are unsure if you want to marry this woman regardless of immigration, that's a different topic. It IS very difficult to know someone long distance well enough to make a decision to marry. I don't think she's just after the green card, though. Japan is not a third world country. Does she have a large chunk of money? If you want a wife that will bring income then you need to look specifically for that when you are dating.
Els Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Immigration marriages are not necessarily a bad thing, but marrying someone you've only met once is crazy. That being said, there is zero possibility that she will ever be able to move to the US on an employment based visa as a secretary. None whatsoever. Those visas are insanely difficult to get if you don't have a skill that is in high demand. The US also has some of the strictest immigration criteria in the world, if she can't get into Australia or the UK, she most certainly can't get into the US. If you are waiting for that you might as well break up now because it'll be an indefinite LDR. I suggest you bring up the possibility of YOU moving to Japan to be with her. Her response to this will answer the question of whether her feelings for you are genuine. 2
Juha Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 DO NOT DO THIS!!! Can only see trouble with how you described how she is... You think she won't be looking for you to take care of her if she comes here on a green card sponsored by you. Getting a work visa is easier to do and faster, her not wanting to go this route is fishy and a red flag...
Artdeco Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 DO NOT DO THIS!!! Can only see trouble with how you described how she is... You think she won't be looking for you to take care of her if she comes here on a green card sponsored by you. Getting a work visa is easier to do and faster, her not wanting to go this route is fishy and a red flag... How on earth would she ever get a work visa? Based on what? Work Visas are for skilled ppl .... who work for a specific employer in the United States. To apply, you must have an existing employment, work in a specific in-demand (!) occupation, and be paid above the average wage for that job in the US. I think if she could pull that one off, they wouldn’t have the discussion in the first place. 1
carhill Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Considering Japanese citizens enjoy ESTA access to the US, heh, well, there ya go. She could join the millions of others in the land of opportunity overstay program Money grab would be my opinion. As mentioned, I'd float the 'move to Japan' option and see how that flies.
Els Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 How on earth would she ever get a work visa? Based on what? Work Visas are for skilled ppl .... who work for a specific employer in the United States. To apply, you must have an existing employment, work in a specific in-demand (!) occupation, and be paid above the average wage for that job in the US. I think if she could pull that one off, they wouldn’t have the discussion in the first place. Right. It honestly amazes me how ignorant some people are about immigration policies in the land that they live in. Talking to some Americans, you'd think you can just buy a plane ticket right after you graduate high school and be issued a work visa upon arrival, lol.
Author seixal Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 How on earth would she ever get a work visa? Based on what? Work Visas are for skilled ppl .... who work for a specific employer in the United States. To apply, you must have an existing employment, work in a specific in-demand (!) occupation, and be paid above the average wage for that job in the US. I think if she could pull that one off, they wouldn’t have the discussion in the first place. You don't need to hold a PhD in order to apply for a H1B visa. The minimum educational requirement is a bachelor degree, which she has. I don't remember seeing any regulation regarding wages to be paid to a visa holder. Note that other work visa exist, such as the "aupair visa".
alphamale Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 very bad idea brother...find a Japanese girl who is already here on a green card 1
basil67 Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I don't know your laws. But can one obtain a green card for a marriage when they have little evidence of an actual relationship? My commonsense tells me that if I was assessing this, I'd look at the fact there one visit and a year of email and disregard the relationship as not being legitimate. 1
Els Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 You don't need to hold a PhD in order to apply for a H1B visa. The minimum educational requirement is a bachelor degree, which she has. I don't remember seeing any regulation regarding wages to be paid to a visa holder. Note that other work visa exist, such as the "aupair visa". The H-1B is a visa in the United States under the Immigration and Nationality Act, section 101(a)(15)(H) which allows U.S. employers to employ foreign workers in specialty occupations. You will not be able to convince US immigration that they REALLY need more secretaries in the US, trust me. If anyone with a bachelor's could get in, half of China and India would be in the US by now. I don't understand why you are so focused on a visa that you know so little about. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 If you really want to do this, make an appointment to see an immigration lawyer in your area. Pay the consultation fee. These folks do not give free consultations. Listen carefully to what the lawyer has to say & then make an informed decision. 1
Author seixal Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 The H-1B is a visa in the United States under the Immigration and Nationality Act, section 101(a)(15)(H) which allows U.S. employers to employ foreign workers in specialty occupations. You will not be able to convince US immigration that they REALLY need more secretaries in the US, trust me. If anyone with a bachelor's could get in, half of China and India would be in the US by now. I don't understand why you are so focused on a visa that you know so little about. I personally got a H1b visa with a bachelor degree, so yes it's possible. The other poster and yourself have been showing lots of interest in discussing and showing off your knowledge in visa regulation. I personally have little interest in going technical with that matter. There are forums who specialize in those topics, this one is dedicated to relationships and that's what I'm here for.
olivetree Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 The whole long distance / green card thing aside even, no, do not marry this girl. You've met once. She sounds lazy and like she wants a free ride in life. You do not know each other well enough for marriage or even living together. You don't even sound all that happy in the relationship to be taking it to the next level. And as for the green card side of it, the risk is entirely on you and not on her in any way. 2
mortensorchid Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 You've never even met this woman face to face, have you? I did have a buddy of mine marry a woman from Taiwan many years ago (they are still married - almost 20 years now I think), and it was quite the process, but I digress... Have you ever met this woman face to face? I would assume you have a lot of video calls and whatnot going on.
Artdeco Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 I don't know your laws. But can one obtain a green card for a marriage when they have little evidence of an actual relationship?. Yes, Once they’re married nobody cares anymore.
Author seixal Posted August 2, 2018 Author Posted August 2, 2018 You've never even met this woman face to face, have you? I did have a buddy of mine marry a woman from Taiwan many years ago (they are still married - almost 20 years now I think), and it was quite the process, but I digress... Have you ever met this woman face to face? I would assume you have a lot of video calls and whatnot going on. Yes, we met once and spent a week together.
Juha Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 As far as that visa goes, I know people who have come her with no specialty training, just a bachelor degree. That whole thing is bogus...
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 Seixal As you know from your own experience the immigration process is complicated. While I have no genuine experience it seems to have grown more difficult. You are aware of the financial support obligations, a factor many people overlook to their detriment. There I think you are ahead of the curve. Assuming you have the knowledge to make an informed decision, like many other relationships it comes down to trust & personal goals. You said yourself that you are starting to get the feeling that this lady's feelings are more focused on getting out of her present situation rather than the emotions of those she may be using to achieve her goal. You are also skeptical of her ability to be a SAHM since she's never had to take adult responsibilities. All I can say is go with your gut, however, another face to face in person encounter may be in order. I hope you figure it all out in a way that is best for you. 1
Recommended Posts