mortensorchid Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I'm not sure what to think on this OLD I had today. I've been trying to get back into the game again, and decided to do something. I connected with this guy who I will call Jack. He didn't seem like someone who was looking for a hook up, he was polite in just the "hello how are you" start off conversations. He asked if I wanted to meet, I said okay. Earlier today I sent a reminder text about this as we did not talk over the weekend. I said in the text "Are we still on for this evening? If you do not respond I will assume no." And if he didn't respond, I would assume it to be no, and no hard feelings. He replied that yes he would meet me tonight. We met at a Starbucks nearby. How'd it go? I see him and he's not my physical type (I have been accused of only going for tall, dark and handsome and I've been trying to break that bad habit because I think it's gotten in the way of things in the past, but I digress) - he was on the chunkier side, but I said I've been too into looks I have to go past that. I would give him a chance. Well ... His teeth were kind of ... Funky. I don't think he has many back molars and I could see that as we were chatting. We had a nice time chatting. He was also a teacher (teaches adult ed at a technical college), we had some things in common that were kind of geeky but fun (Star Wars, cosplay, etc.). He said he had to get going because he was teaching a class that night, I said alright. Walks me to my car (good sign), and he hugged me good-bye. Nice. Afterward? He sent me a text or two about 20 minutes later "You're beautiful". I sent a joking text back "Thanks but don't text while driving ya nutjob". Then he said he was going to start teaching as students were coming in. I said okay don't let me interrupt. About an hour later he sends another text saying he was going home early as he was feeling dehydrated and tired. I said it was probably all the coffee he drank. And ... Nothing. I'm sure he really was tired. So I researched and found him on Facebook. Nothing outlandish on the photos he has public that I can see without friending him. And he was with a woman in a few photos, one was of the two of them and there were hearts around it. Obviously a girlfriend. They were together as of six months ago apparently. He said he's never been married and has no kids. But if he and this woman are no longer an item ... Why keep up this photo? I will keep this on ice until I hear from him again, which is my 48 hour rule once again. 2
act00 Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 The past is the past, and it's a piece of people's history...a photo album. Many don't see the need to delete such things. I wouldn't if it meant scrolling and scrolling. It might not even cross my mind to do so. You don't know how often he posts...maybe never, so he didn't think about it, or maybe he posts so often it's buried somewhere. You're a little "meh" about this guy, but I'm glad to see you trying to expand your horizons a little and experience different things. Being just shy of six months broken up is a little red flaggy, but that also depends on the length and depth of this past relationship. A second or third date of "get to know you" will vet out some of these issues...past relationships...in addition to just getting to know someone outside of your "normal." That is, if you're inclined to give another date a try. 1
Art_Critic Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Afterward? He sent me a text or two about 20 minutes later "You're beautiful". To me that translates to "he had a hard on the entire ride home".... at least in my language that is what it means anyhow.. Drop the dumb ass rules like 48 hr rule.. if you want to get together with him text him and let him know... 3
alphamale Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I love your stories mortensorchid….but, chunky and no teeth? drop him like a hot potatoe 1
Author mortensorchid Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 To me that translates to "he had a hard on the entire ride home".... at least in my language that is what it means anyhow.. Drop the dumb ass rules like 48 hr rule.. if you want to get together with him text him and let him know... Hard on? Absolutely. Most guys have them to begin with because that's how their brains are wired.
alphamale Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Hard on? Absolutely. unfortunately I have to take Viagra now to achieve that state
Author mortensorchid Posted August 2, 2018 Author Posted August 2, 2018 He's 38, never married, no kids. I am 43 and the same. I think what bothers me the most, quite honestly, are the teeth. Otherwise he seems like an alright guy. Shame. We're texting now, just chatty stuff, but ... I'm loosing that hope that he will ask to see me again as time goes on.
Gaeta Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 You are beautiful and he is a bit insecure, give him a green light. Tell him you enjoyed meeting him and would be happy to do so again when he feels like it. See past the teeth. My daughter had a similar experience and the teeth bothered her a bit it dissipated after a few dates. They have been dating 7 months now and he is a great bf to her and probably the best one she had so Far. She is very happy with him. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted August 3, 2018 Author Posted August 3, 2018 It's been a two days since we met. I am happy, he texted me today saying that he wanted to see me again. He found me on Facebook and I accepted a friend request. I sent a good morning text today, we were chatting about our day. We were talking about just things, but I had a very busy day and couldn't talk too much (many things jobwise going on). He asked to see me again on Friday, but I said I have a plan (which is not a lie) on Friday night but I would like to see him again. He said he will see what is good, I said I am open to suggestion. And ... Nothing since early this evening. I am happy, I have done everything as expected. I will keep others updated as to what is going on. 2
kendahke Posted August 3, 2018 Posted August 3, 2018 I think what bothers me the most, quite honestly, are the teeth. he needs to look up Dr. Apa in NYC. 1
GemmaUK Posted August 3, 2018 Posted August 3, 2018 From your opening post it sounds like you are quite un-attracted to him. Do you want to kiss him?
alphamale Posted August 3, 2018 Posted August 3, 2018 I will keep others updated as to what is going on. that would be nice mortensorchid
Author mortensorchid Posted August 4, 2018 Author Posted August 4, 2018 So here is an update on the above noted situation: Today (Friday) he asked me via text if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I said I already had a Friday night plan (recent thread on a bad OLD but that's over and done with) but would be interested in another plan. We are now Facebook friends. I am being somewhat vague about good news and not sharing too much other than silliness (I was stung in a separate few situations but that's another thread), he liked one of them that I sent out. I got a new job today which I am very excited about but keeping things somewhat vague before making it public. And ... I have heard nothing. Reach out tomorrow if I haven't heard from him by say 2 pm?
act00 Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 If you want to give this guy a go, reach out. You've brushed him off with "other plans" and "some time later", so I think you need to toss him a solid time to see him instead of vague future hints of "maybe later," and reach out, if you're serious about pursuing this a little more. 1
MountainGirl111 Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 I'm getting an impression that you're not so hot about this guy. I'm wondering if you can get past the teeth. If he is not someone you think you can conceivably kiss and enjoy kissing, that's a foreboding sign.
Author mortensorchid Posted August 4, 2018 Author Posted August 4, 2018 If you want to give this guy a go, reach out. You've brushed him off with "other plans" and "some time later", so I think you need to toss him a solid time to see him instead of vague future hints of "maybe later," and reach out, if you're serious about pursuing this a little more. I did say in the texts "I have a plan on Friday night but I would be interested in another get together" specifically. I haven't heard from him still and it's 1 pm on Saturday.
Juha Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 I did say in the texts "I have a plan on Friday night but I would be interested in another get together" specifically. I haven't heard from him still and it's 1 pm on Saturday. He asked you out with specifics, you have plans so it does not work for you but you never counter offered. That is a big problem, you dropped the ball here. When you reject a specific date offer and do not counter with another specific day/time that is good for you a man will take that as you are not really interested. Telling him you would be interested in another plan really does not cut it and he probably thinks you are really not interested in him. So it is not surprising that you have not heard from him. He is thinking you had another date for Friday already and that you are not very interested in seeing him again as you rejected his offer and did not counter offer with another day/time.
Author mortensorchid Posted August 4, 2018 Author Posted August 4, 2018 He asked you out with specifics, you have plans so it does not work for you but you never counter offered. That is a big problem, you dropped the ball here. When you reject a specific date offer and do not counter with another specific day/time that is good for you a man will take that as you are not really interested. Telling him you would be interested in another plan really does not cut it and he probably thinks you are really not interested in him. So it is not surprising that you have not heard from him. He is thinking you had another date for Friday already and that you are not very interested in seeing him again as you rejected his offer and did not counter offer with another day/time. Actually double checking the texts to be sure I am correct on this, on Friday he said he sent a good morning text, I responded with a good morning text. I offered that we go to the movie he proposed on Saturday rather than Friday, and he said "I can do that". I texted back "Time? Location?" Nothing. Ah well, life goes on.
Author mortensorchid Posted August 8, 2018 Author Posted August 8, 2018 Here's an update … Unfortunately … I met him for a second get together. I said to myself so he's not an Adonis, give him a chance. You could be missing out on something good, and others have told me that I have allowed some superficial things to get in the way and blah blah blah … And then he told me something... I had gone to his Facebook page and mentioned (to the forum not to him) that I had seen a photo of him with this woman, and it was a couple's photo with heart emojis around it. He said (not that I asked) that he had just broken up with this woman in May/June after about six months together. She was introduced to him by a friend of his at a bar where he works from time to time as a bouncer, and he was happy as in he was in infatuation. Then over time he started seeing other sides of her, infatuation wears off, and he was not happy with her. She had a child who was taken away from her by the courts and her parents have custody of her, sits on her can all day in front of the TV, is on disability, and is being/was being cared for by him and her friends (house cleaning, doing the shopping, doing laundry, etc.). Including a guy she was probably cheating on him with part of the time. And she's pregnant for a second time, going to have her second child in three or four months, is on prescriptions to get off the drugs she was abusing and no doubt the kid is addicted to as well, and he's not 100% sure if this kid is his or not. I said inside of myself "get through this, you can get through this with dignity and class". I told him at the end of the encounter I'm sorry these things have happened to him, I sympathize and realize that these things don't make him a bad person, but I will not be seeing him again. He seemed disappointed but said "I understand, I apologize." And that was that.
coolheadal Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 I'm not sure what to think on this OLD I had today. I've been trying to get back into the game again, and decided to do something. I connected with this guy who I will call Jack. He didn't seem like someone who was looking for a hook up, he was polite in just the "hello how are you" start off conversations. He asked if I wanted to meet, I said okay. Earlier today I sent a reminder text about this as we did not talk over the weekend. I said in the text "Are we still on for this evening? If you do not respond I will assume no." And if he didn't respond, I would assume it to be no, and no hard feelings. He replied that yes he would meet me tonight. We met at a Starbucks nearby. How'd it go? I see him and he's not my physical type (I have been accused of only going for tall, dark and handsome and I've been trying to break that bad habit because I think it's gotten in the way of things in the past, but I digress) - he was on the chunkier side, but I said I've been too into looks I have to go past that. I would give him a chance. Well ... His teeth were kind of ... Funky. I don't think he has many back molars and I could see that as we were chatting. We had a nice time chatting. He was also a teacher (teaches adult ed at a technical college), we had some things in common that were kind of geeky but fun (Star Wars, cosplay, etc.). He said he had to get going because he was teaching a class that night, I said alright. Walks me to my car (good sign), and he hugged me good-bye. Nice. Afterward? He sent me a text or two about 20 minutes later "You're beautiful". I sent a joking text back "Thanks but don't text while driving ya nutjob". Then he said he was going to start teaching as students were coming in. I said okay don't let me interrupt. About an hour later he sends another text saying he was going home early as he was feeling dehydrated and tired. I said it was probably all the coffee he drank. And ... Nothing. I'm sure he really was tired. So I researched and found him on Facebook. Nothing outlandish on the photos he has public that I can see without friending him. And he was with a woman in a few photos, one was of the two of them and there were hearts around it. Obviously a girlfriend. They were together as of six months ago apparently. He said he's never been married and has no kids. But if he and this woman are no longer an item ... Why keep up this photo? I will keep this on ice until I hear from him again, which is my 48 hour rule once again. He might of forgot to take that down.. Well strange guy you just met and yet the obvious is kicking in. Might not be the one for you. Keep knocking down those pins until you find the right guy. Just don't settle for Mr. Obvious.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 And she's pregnant for a second time, going to have her second child in three or four months, is on prescriptions to get off the drugs she was abusing and no doubt the kid is addicted to as well, and he's not 100% sure if this kid is his or not. What a bummer . I wouldn't continue to see this guy either. Way too much potential drama. Plus, the teeth.....not sure I would really be able to get past that...... 1
coolheadal Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 Here's an update … Unfortunately … I met him for a second get together. I said to myself so he's not an Adonis, give him a chance. You could be missing out on something good, and others have told me that I have allowed some superficial things to get in the way and blah blah blah … And then he told me something... I had gone to his Facebook page and mentioned (to the forum not to him) that I had seen a photo of him with this woman, and it was a couple's photo with heart emojis around it. He said (not that I asked) that he had just broken up with this woman in May/June after about six months together. She was introduced to him by a friend of his at a bar where he works from time to time as a bouncer, and he was happy as in he was in infatuation. Then over time he started seeing other sides of her, infatuation wears off, and he was not happy with her. She had a child who was taken away from her by the courts and her parents have custody of her, sits on her can all day in front of the TV, is on disability, and is being/was being cared for by him and her friends (house cleaning, doing the shopping, doing laundry, etc.). Including a guy she was probably cheating on him with part of the time. And she's pregnant for a second time, going to have her second child in three or four months, is on prescriptions to get off the drugs she was abusing and no doubt the kid is addicted to as well, and he's not 100% sure if this kid is his or not. I said inside of myself "get through this, you can get through this with dignity and class". I told him at the end of the encounter I'm sorry these things have happened to him, I sympathize and realize that these things don't make him a bad person, but I will not be seeing him again. He seemed disappointed but said "I understand, I apologize." And that was that. I agree with you.. You did the right thing!
FMW Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 Yes, absolutely the right decision. Way too much drama for someone you were already meh about. Keep trying and keep sharing with us!
rightondude Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 I dunno, sounds like he's been dealt a rough hand here and to me sounds like he's trying to make the best of it. At least he's seemingly honest about the crappy cards he's just been dealt. I don't think you should drop him over this if you like the guy. But yeah there could be a lot of drama upcoming. Like a visit to Maury to start off with.
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