Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 So on Saturday I had a date with a guy I've been chatting with for a long time. Came to pick me up, we had a great convo, extended the date by taking a walk after dinner. Held my hand and drove me back home. I thanked him and said I had a good time. Next day he texted me asking how is my day so far with a kiss emoji. I replied and we talked a bit. Then he asked when are we going to play tennis as i said I played during the day. I texted backsaying definitely sometime soon. He replied for sure and asked how my dog is doing. I said great as I'm feeding him a snack of apples and on. He said oh I would like to have some I texted a winky face to that. So its Tuesday night and I haven't heard from him yet actually making a second date happen. Should I text him?
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 Cant help to think I maybe messed up my replies? Or I'm overreacting??
ThreeRainbows Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Give it time, but don't text him again until he texts you. I have found that the less I chat with guys via text or phone, the more interested they are. Save chatting for your girlfriends... Try to end your dates a bit earlier, too. Leave him wanting more.
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 Give it time, but don't text him again until he texts you. I have found that the less I chat with guys via text or phone, the more interested they are. Save chatting for your girlfriends... Try to end your dates a bit earlier, too. Leave him wanting more. I'm just hoping in my replies I didnt make it seem like I'm not interested lol. Should i wait a week before sending a text?
TheFinalWord Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Cant help to think I maybe messed up my replies? Or I'm overreacting?? He asked when you are going to play tennis together and you didn't give him an answer. Text him back with a couple days you're available. When a woman is vague like that I tend to think she's not that interested. Don't do all these "waiting a week" games. Only wait if you are genuinely busy. People are so worried about not wanting to look interested, then wonder why their texts come across as having "meh" interest and why the guy doens't text back.
TheFinalWord Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Give it time, but don't text him again until he texts you. I have found that the less I chat with guys via text or phone, the more interested they are. Save chatting for your girlfriends... Try to end your dates a bit earlier, too. Leave him wanting more. I disagree. Yeah, you can reciprocate initiation, but purposely playing games leads to most men losing interest. At least the ones with options. I have four women I am texting with now. One plays this game of not texting for at least an hour. While one woman and I chit chat throughout the day. Who do you think I am more interested in getting to know and which will be a back up? The one that barely replies (people know this is a game that is played) will be treated like a back up and I won't put in much effort to try to date her. I definitely don't take her seriously, especially since I have options. Only text sporadically if you have genuine low interest in the person. If you have actual interest, show it. Don't be desperate, but at the same time there's no need to play these games of being aloof if you have genuine interest. Like most men and women, we are talking to multiple people. The ones that show mutual high interest tend to be the ones we put more effort into getting to know. If a guy has no options, playing games may work because he's desperate. A guy with options, he knows what is up with the waiting game and won't take it seriously.
damni Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I would usually say, don't chase a guy but in this case you did fob him off. He asked when are we going play tennis and you would not confirm an date with him. Why not? I would text him asking about setting up the date, what you got to lose.
Highndry Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Give it time, but don't text him again until he texts you. I have found that the less I chat with guys via text or phone, the more interested they are. Save chatting for your girlfriends... Try to end your dates a bit earlier, too. Leave him wanting more. ^^This is called playing games.
act00 Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 If you like him, text him. It's been a couple days, and as you can see on this board, guys fret about "does she like me" every bit as much as women...show some interest. You sort of blew him off by not taking the hint on tennis. "Soon" is not an answer...it could show lack of interest. "I usually play tennis during the day. Did you have anything in mind?" Or, "I don't know, maybe we can plan a day over drinks." Don't play games. If you like him, and you hope to see him and land a date for the weekend, get your foot in the door and reach out. Personally, if the date went that well, I would have texted him a thank you and I really enjoyed meeting him that very night...and I wouldn't have waited until Tuesday.
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 If you like him, text him. It's been a couple days, and as you can see on this board, guys fret about "does she like me" every bit as much as women...show some interest. You sort of blew him off by not taking the hint on tennis. "Soon" is not an answer...it could show lack of interest. "I usually play tennis during the day. Did you have anything in mind?" Or, "I don't know, maybe we can plan a day over drinks." Don't play games. If you like him, and you hope to see him and land a date for the weekend, get your foot in the door and reach out. Personally, if the date went that well, I would have texted him a thank you and I really enjoyed meeting him that very night...and I wouldn't have waited until Tuesday. Yes!! Im definitely going to text him today. God I feel so stupid..its just that Im so used to the Man setting up the next date..i like a take charge kind of guy. I wanted him to tell me a day but its ok.
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 I would usually say, don't chase a guy but in this case you did fob him off. He asked when are we going play tennis and you would not confirm an date with him. Why not? I would text him asking about setting up the date, what you got to lose. Yes I feel so stupid. Im going to text him today. Thanks
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 I disagree. Yeah, you can reciprocate initiation, but purposely playing games leads to most men losing interest. At least the ones with options. I have four women I am texting with now. One plays this game of not texting for at least an hour. While one woman and I chit chat throughout the day. Who do you think I am more interested in getting to know and which will be a back up? The one that barely replies (people know this is a game that is played) will be treated like a back up and I won't put in much effort to try to date her. I definitely don't take her seriously, especially since I have options. Only text sporadically if you have genuine low interest in the person. If you have actual interest, show it. Don't be desperate, but at the same time there's no need to play these games of being aloof if you have genuine interest. Like most men and women, we are talking to multiple people. The ones that show mutual high interest tend to be the ones we put more effort into getting to know. If a guy has no options, playing games may work because he's desperate. A guy with options, he knows what is up with the waiting game and won't take it seriously. Yes I will definitely text him today and see what happens.
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 Give it time, but don't text him again until he texts you. I have found that the less I chat with guys via text or phone, the more interested they are. Save chatting for your girlfriends... Try to end your dates a bit earlier, too. Leave him wanting more. hmmm in this case I will text him because maybe he got the idea I dont want to see him again.
losangelena Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Why all the self-recrimination? You're not stupid, you're figuring things out. Don't be so hard on yourself, and don't worry about every little missive you send or don't send. Just relax and have a good time.
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 Why all the self-recrimination? You're not stupid, you're figuring things out. Don't be so hard on yourself, and don't worry about every little missive you send or don't send. Just relax and have a good time. Thank you for that
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 why don't you call him? Why should I call him?
alphamale Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Why should I call him? to find out what the deal is
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 to find out what the deal is The deal? I dont get it? I know hes interested in me as he texted me the next day after our date.
ThreeRainbows Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 ^^This is called playing games. Eh, I call it not being clingy. I'm not talking about trying to make someone jealous, or using someone. I'm just talking about not texting quite so much. Let him take the lead. It's okay to play your social role. Talking less has also improved my self-esteem. I feel a sense of dignity from it. *shrug* 1
ThreeRainbows Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 (edited) I disagree. Yeah, you can reciprocate initiation, but purposely playing games leads to most men losing interest. At least the ones with options. I have four women I am texting with now. One plays this game of not texting for at least an hour. While one woman and I chit chat throughout the day. Who do you think I am more interested in getting to know and which will be a back up? The one that barely replies (people know this is a game that is played) will be treated like a back up and I won't put in much effort to try to date her. I definitely don't take her seriously, especially since I have options. Only text sporadically if you have genuine low interest in the person. If you have actual interest, show it. Don't be desperate, but at the same time there's no need to play these games of being aloof if you have genuine interest. Like most men and women, we are talking to multiple people. The ones that show mutual high interest tend to be the ones we put more effort into getting to know. If a guy has no options, playing games may work because he's desperate. A guy with options, he knows what is up with the waiting game and won't take it seriously. I don't know. I don't text throughout the day, and I often go an hour or longer before replying. I am not trying to play any games about it. It's either I am shy and need time to think of a response, or it's because I check it a couple times a day max. But it's no indicator of my interest. It's food for thought. I am a very introverted, quiet person. I guess I can force myself to be more interactive, but it would be forced. Edit: Although I did try this, and it would up backfiring. I felt stressed from conversing so much, and the guys weren't as interested, or as interesting. I guess it's because it wasn't a natural thing for me. Edited August 1, 2018 by ThreeRainbows
Author Britney25 Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 I don't know. I don't text throughout the day, and I often go an hour or longer before replying. I am not trying to play any games about it. It's either I am shy and need time to think of a response, or it's because I check it a couple times a day max. But it's no indicator of my interest. It's food for thought. I am a very introverted, quiet person. I guess I can force myself to be more interactive, but it would be forced. Edit: Although I did try this, and it would up backfiring. I felt stressed from conversing so much, and the guys weren't as interested, or as interesting. I guess it's because it wasn't a natural thing for me. Yes but when i say we chatted a bit over text I didn't mean back and forth like a whole convo I dont play games but I dont also reply immediately..sometimes a quicker reply and sometimes a longer..really depends on my day too.
ThreeRainbows Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Yes but when i say we chatted a bit over text I didn't mean back and forth like a whole convo I dont play games but I dont also reply immediately..sometimes a quicker reply and sometimes a longer..really depends on my day too. That's good. I think it's a misconception that all "games" are necessarily bad. For example, wearing a nice pair of jeans that accentuate a woman's physical attributes is not seeing as game-playing. But you better believe that's why we wear them. Wearing a little make-up isn't a bad thing, either. It's more about being conscious of what you're doing, and your intentions. A little "smarts" when it comes to dating (understanding the mechanisms of attraction) is just like putting on a touch of make-up. Don't overdo it. But a little goes a long way. Don't do it to play with a guy's heart, to get attention, etc. If you do use a bit of charisma, that's OK, but do it with good intentions.
Author Britney25 Posted August 4, 2018 Author Posted August 4, 2018 So I texted him to meet this weekend and he replied yes let's meet! We can meet Sunday and I said ok. He said great sounds like a plan, let's see where and when. So its Saturday and he hasnt confirmed anything yet and last we texted was Wednesday. Am I overreacting or does it look like this date won't happen? P.S we live 1hr away by car from each other.
PRW Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 Not saying he follows the pattern that I do,....but: After a First Date on a weekend. I text on a Monday or Tues, however when I do so I set the next date. I do not do any extra "chit-chat" between the dates. There are specific reasons for this: 1. I you may not be the only "new" woman I am having those "early" dates with. And by the same token I shouldn't be the only guy you are doing the same with. We are not boyfriend/girlfriend yet,...we just met, we are still basically strangers. 2. It build anticipation for the upcoming date. The closer it gets the more the anticipation builds. As days go by he thinks of new things that you can talk about on the date and you are doing the same. When you finally get to see each other you are both very excited to see each other and have a ton of things to talk about,...there is almost a "0" chance of having any awkward silences during the date. 3. It weeds out needy/insecure/over-zealous parties on both sides. If the woman gets upset that she hasn't heard from me, when it has only been a first date, and she barely knows me, that is a red flag. By the same token if the guy can't help himself from texting the girl all week long till the date, as if he is afraid she'll forget about him or something, that is a red flag. After 3-4 weeks the dynamic starts to change and a little more communication if fine. But both parties still need to show some personal discipline.
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