Sweetcandy11 Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 I need advice pleaseeee. I was previously a coccaine addict. I’ve been clean now for 5 years and had counselling session for 12 weeks . I’ve been with my partner for 7 years , He has stood by my side through it all but now has moved out because I treat him like I’m still using .
PRW Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I need advice pleaseeee. I was previously a coccaine addict. I’ve been clean now for 5 years and had counselling session for 12 weeks . I’ve been with my partner for 7 years , He has stood by my side through it all but now has moved out because I treat him like I’m still using . Cocaine was not the problem it was a symptom or result of the problem. The same issue that made you susceptible to the cocaine is the same issue that is driving the guy away. You have to figure out whatever that issue is and squash it,...then you will not be susceptible to the cocaine and won't be driving the guy away. I'm not a trained therapist or counselor,...so that is the best I can come up with.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 First of all congratulations on your five years of being free of using! That's an enormous achievement and success. Celebrate that success and keep building on it. Counseling sessions for 12 weeks for a 7-year addiction isn't remotely adequate. You might check out a 12-step program. I know lots of people have criticisms of 12-step programs, but one point these programs make is that there is a difference between simply not using the addiction (what some call "white-knuckling") and actually living a full fulfilling life. When you're in addiction, you can't manage your emotions without resorting to the addiction. What can happen is you stop the particular addiction, but you find a substitute behavior for managing the normal ups and downs of life ... if you haven't really learned to live in a healthy way. Most likely your ex was noticing that you were relying on her to manage your daily moods. Doing that would be pretty obvious to your ex--even if you couldn't see it. Translation: stopping the addiction is the most important step but it's only a first step. The next step is to live in a way that is fulfilling, a way that makes it easier to continue an addiction-free life. You want to build friendships, rekindle old friendships that were good for you, you want to find some fun activities and hobbies and pursue them. Exercise is great for moving forward after addiction. Sounds like you could benefit from additional therapy ... and support groups. You do know, I assume, that those years of using, are years of emotional stagnation. You don't grow in addiction because you use this external thing to cope. That's 7 lost years of maturation. But then, to fall into addiction in the first place, you most likely had deeper problems and coping weaknesses to begin with. First step: consider another 12 weeks of counseling but if you can afford it, try two times a week. Get to a really good counselor. And think about longer term counseling ... like a year or two ... not twice a week. But long enough that you experience enough ups and downs and can then bring these experiences to your therapist as you learn to retrain your mind and build your coping skills. Whatever you do, do not slip and do not relapse. Find a meeting if you're in danger or using or call a friend and tell them it's an emergency and meet somewhere and talk. You can definitely use this experience to move forward and grow and learn and build a more fulfilling life ... and a life that doesn't feel to a partner like you're using them as a "drug." Now that you have five years clean, you can actually grow and learn quite fast. So that's the good news. You'll actually learn how to make life easier.
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