my girlfriend left me and now wants to marry her ex

July 31, 2018

my girlfriends ex is my brother.******

My girlfriend broke up with me for the second time around five months ago. i was shocked as i couldn't take it upon myself and that too over the phone. i was waiting to meet her for the past 4months and just when you are missing someone so much they come up with such news. i was shattered, i cried and tried to convince her but she didn't agree as she was like she sees no future and has no feelings left. she was like we can be friends if i wanted.

During this period of friendship she used to call me just as a friend. i stuck coz i was hoping that this could change. i agreed. few weeks passes by and slowly she started to cut contact by calling me once in a day then once in 3 days to eventually cutting off all contacts. i stalked her like nothing but it was going anywhere in the meanwhile she even saw a guy who her parents had set up for marriage as it was an arrange marriage. but somehow nothing came of it as the guys family had some issues.

all this while it had been two months since i spoke to her. i prayed for her to come in my life as she was my first love and i was actually her second. after two month i recieve a text from her. i was confused as i had faced enough. somehow after 10 days i replied and we started speaking and that too once in a day at night. after a couple of days are communication increased as she used to tell me what all had happened all this while. i was recovering and believing and she was getting interested then out of nowhere her ex messages her afer 2 years and she asks me what to do. i was broken again as i had no answers. coz i knew no matter what she would speak to him as she had done in the past.

her ex was so desperate to get her back that i was losing it. i used to cry at night and i couldnt even focus on my work. i was shocked coz this was the same person who a couple of days ago called me in the middle of night crying that she wasn't feeling and i consollled her at 4 am in the morning and spoke to her for an hour.

and within 24 hrs this person changed and would again cut all contacts.

after two days when i called her she was like her ex wants to marry her and shes confused. so now its a triangle where two brothers are fighting for one girl. and my brother doesnt know that i was with her.

she stops calling me they become friends again on instagram their love life reignites and im in the middle of all this thinking what to do should i wait or move on? as this was only causing me pain. i had temporary hapiness and nothing else.

only coz i love her so much that whenever she needs me im there but now when i feel low and want to talk to her i cant.

July 31, 2018

Which do you value more? A relationship with your own brother, or with a girl who has dumped you?

Marriages have a 50% chance of ending in happy ever after these days. Relationships which are not yet marriages, have much less than that. Relationships with people who've dumped you, almost zero chance of working out.

Stop all contact with her. Tell your brother the whole truth and cherish that family relationship. He will be your brother for life, whereas chances are you won't even remember her face in 5 years time. Don't let a girl who dumped you be the cause of a huge family rift! Cos that's what this will be, if you don't prioritise!

July 31, 2018

Grow up. This isn't the end of the world.

Cut the needy act. You want her but she's not a need.

She's shown you she isn't relationship material. Move on and block all forms of contact.

Thate only one keeping you in this is you

July 31, 2018

Thank you for your reply.

My brother wants to marry her and I’m scared if I tell him he’ll and my family won’t forgive me ever plus whenever He left her or she left as was the case twice I consoled her in which case I became too attached and emotionally connected to her. Plus if they get married I won’t be able to take it but she’s very much ok with marrying him and he’s eager to be with her after speaking to her after 2 years.

But coz my memories are too fresh I’m scared what would happen if she comes. My brother doesn’t live with me in this house. It is in the same city but not with me.

I’m scared as she was my first love and I’m not sure if she calls what to do as she only wants me to be her friend and talk to me if he hurts him coz she’s aware I’ll be there.

July 31, 2018

I would tell your brother. Do you want him to get serious with a woman who is not open about her relationship with his own brother?

But do it out of love for your brother, not out of a desire to break them up. That's kind of a serious thing not to know about, and I hope he is aware of it.

July 31, 2018

I’m scared if I tell him he’ll and my family won’t forgive me

Would you prefer to spend every Thanksgiving sitting around the table with a fake smile on your face, lying to cover up your secret? That is no way to live. Eventually it will come out anyway, sooner or later. You should tell him in a controlled manner before they get married rather than him figuring out in 10 years when they have 3 kids.

July 31, 2018

Yes it’s true that eventually everything comes to the notice but there’s only one thing that stops me from telling my brother is that if I tell him a girl image and respect would be gone for a toss. That’s the last thing I want coz for me a woman’s respect is my utmost priority even if it’s st the expense of my loss.

I’ve been involved too so I know if she doesn’t marry him then for her to get married to someone else and for her family it won’t be a nice thing so for all that I’m taking a step back.

Should I call her and tell her that it’s not right what’s happening. she’s ok with me around the family as I won’t be living under the same roof. Should I call her to tell her that never should you contact me again coz if they get married I can never accept it.

August 1, 2018

a woman’s respect is my utmost priority even if it’s st the expense of my loss

You're concerned about earning respect from a woman who has already disrespected you so badly, multiple times? Even if it causes your brother (and by extension her) to never speak to you again? Because that is a distinct possibility, if you let them go ahead with the wedding, and he finds out in 5 years when they have 3 kids together.

Should I call her and tell her that it’s not right what’s happening. she’s ok with me around the family as I won’t be living under the same roof. Should I call her to tell her that never should you contact me again coz if they get married I can never accept it.

Your priorities are all messed up. You will seriously create a huge family rift between you and your brother, over a woman who has dumped you TWICE. Dude, you've got rocks in your head. You need to go and see your brother IN PERSON and explain everything. Maybe he will be angry but in time he will get over it. Whereas if you don't tell him, you'll likely lose him forever one day.

Forget about her. Think of your family.

August 1, 2018

Thank you so much for your reply

I know If I tell him he’ll never talk to me as there was always a sense of competition since we were young. Secondly, since three days there things are moving in the right direction and I’m the one whom she left out. I often feel I should call her either to talk her as to why she stopped talking to me when he came back.

I don’t know why but whenever he leaves as in the first instance she came to me as I was her friend and then we got attached then later when she left me coz of him she went back to him. Then on the second instance when he left her she again contacted as I was head over heels in love and was desperately trying to get her. Then somehow it worked but then again when he returned she left me.

I really want to know is it worth to explain her all this and get an explanation from her.

August 1, 2018

her ex