CollegeKid101 Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 Hey all, I’ve been seeing this girl for about three or four weeks now. We’ve been on about five dates or so and also work together part of the week. We haven’t made anything official and haven’t even talked about what we exactly are. I am enjoying it and I really like her. I saw my ex gf (we’ve been on and off, but mostly off for 5-6 years) at a bar Saturday night for the first time in seven months. We kissed for a brief second, I was stupid and feel guilty about it. I have blocked my ex on everything. I know I technically did not cheat, but I have never even come close to cheating on someone so this doesn’t make me feel great for what I did. Should I say anything to the new girl? I even deleted my dating apps the other week so I don’t want to see other girls.
clueless_4ever Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 I am in exactly the same spot as you. I just posted about it an hour ago except I went a little further than you but with less dates than you had. I have also never cheated on anyone before and feel horrible about what I did. In your situation since you guys are not official or exclusive, you didn't do anything wrong. However, she could take it many ways. I think your intentions are pure. You just have to be able to communicate and show her that you are serious about her. Why haven't you guys talked about being exclusive or official if you already know you like her? Maybe this is something you can think about bringing up.
Author CollegeKid101 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Posted July 30, 2018 I am in exactly the same spot as you. I just posted about it an hour ago except I went a little further than you but with less dates than you had. I have also never cheated on anyone before and feel horrible about what I did. In your situation since you guys are not official or exclusive, you didn't do anything wrong. However, she could take it many ways. I think your intentions are pure. You just have to be able to communicate and show her that you are serious about her. Why haven't you guys talked about being exclusive or official if you already know you like her? Maybe this is something you can think about bringing up. Thanks for the reply. I wish I could take it back! Even though it was just a kiss for a second. I am afraid telling her might make her think I’m not serious about her. The exclusivity talk hasn’t been really brought up because we’ve made it clear we like each other. The problem is, I leave at the end of next month for school. We will only be a 1.5-2 hour car ride away. I have been thinking of bringing up the topic, but I don’t usually date people and I am not sure if it is appropriate to bring up.
kendahke Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 Technically, you two aren't official and you are free to kiss whoever you wish. However... This will be a bucket of cold water in her face should it come to light that you and your ex were kissing in a bar during the time you two were getting to know one another. No, she can't claim exclusivity because none was given--it's just going to be the disappointment in her eyes when she looks at you and thinks about you kissing your ex and how she wouldn't do anything like that to you that's going to sink her feelings for you. Trust me, we get posts on this very subject all the time and we tell them "you two aren't exclusive", but that doesn't blunt the hurt of what happened. The truth always outs when its exposure is least affordable. Hopefully, no one who knows her saw you two.
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