Louisesarah Posted July 29, 2018 Posted July 29, 2018 So I’ve only ever dated men. Last year I was introduced to my friends friend. The 3 of us went out for a drink. We got on well but obviously she knew I was straight. The 3 of us went on a weekend away and she was asking questions about my love life and there was just flirting between us (smiles and eye contact etc) She asked my friend to invite me to her brothers engagement party and I went. I caught her looking at my chest..and then after the night she sent me some private messages about a festival she was going too,saying I should also go and I would enjoy it. All this time she knew I was straight and has seen me posting about dates etc. (With men) Am I imagining this or could she like me?
Kelliousme Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 The more important question is.. do you like her romantically? You claim you are straight but sounds like you're developing feelings for her and wants to pursue something more. I mean it's hard to tell whether or not she likes you. The chest staring might not mean anything. As for asking about your love life or asking you to hang out, it might just be because she really enjoys your company and wants to become your best friend or something lol. But if you feel like something is there.. then stop claiming you're straight and see how things go gender doesn't matter.
stillafool Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 Look she's a lesbian and likes women. She's attracted to you, you were giving her smiles and eye contact so naturally she thought you had interest and she's going to find out. She is pursuing you the way a guy would so there is nothing wrong with what she's doing. The question is what are you doing with all the smiles and eye contact (flirting)? Are you down for it?
carhill Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 Any bi-sexual tendencies, OP? Bi-curious in the past? Enjoy being around attractive women? Lesbians can pick up on this, or simply find you attractive sexually. Not uncommon. I've known a couple MW's now who've dabbled in the lesbian thing while married to hetero guys and, after getting sexual, decided it's not for them. As one succinctly put it, 'I like dick' If you're bi-curious, give it a go. Everyone's an adult... if not, IMO being direct with the lady in question is the best tactic. 'I'm hetero so I'd never like you in a sexual way'
DontBreakEven Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 I'm a lesbian, so I'll tell you. Sure, she likes you. But she also knows you're straight, and (contrary to homophobic belief), she will respect that. If you are wanting something to happen, you are going to have to let her know in some way that you are open to this. Otherwise she will keep her distance, even if she does like you. Us lesbians don't mess with straight women. It's a recipe for heartbreak.
carhill Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 Don't have a picture, though plenty of them together, but one MW apparently opened up the marital bed to a close lesbian friend. However, the friend apparently didn't get the middle. To me, that reinforces the boundary thing. If not bi-sexual, be clear on that. It's often difficult for women because, unlike men, they can express same-sex love and closeness in ways that, for a man, could be construed as sexual. As example, I could never touch and kiss my friend's wives the way they touch and kiss each other, well and not get knocked into next week. Such behaviors are more accepted from and by women so those with same sex attractions or curiosity can often find the lines blurred. How about you OP? How do things go with your close female friends? Lots of physical and emotional intimacy? Little? What? How do they perceive your aura?
Author Louisesarah Posted July 31, 2018 Author Posted July 31, 2018 She’s the first woman I’ve liked. I’ve tried to cover it up by talking about men. She will have seen my Facebook/Snapchat’s about dates with men etc. Do you think she won’t have any clue I like her?
stillafool Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 If you were smiling and flirting with her I'm sure she has a clue that you might be down to experiment. Most Lesbians do not like women who mess around with men because you can't trust them. Too nasty to go after a man. I would suggest you go to this outing where she will be and spend time with her.
maxi105 Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 hi l/s, the last time I answered a post like this it was the same kind of thing but to a sarah louise!!!! im kind of hoping this is not the same thing backwards! lol. but if it is ...tehn see my old replies...it will end u[p probably in the same way, only difference is this post is not going to go round and round like the other one did, but good luck with this anyway. if you like this girl enough and you are prepared to do something about it, then fine, but you need to do it properly, and that means to not be with the guy you are with if you are with him still and it also means wanting to get to know someone and try to see if there is a proper chemistry there. I don't think many people are going to want to have someone experimenting with them or toying with their emotions whatever sexuality they are or are not that sure about as it messes with people's feelings and chances to meet someone who could give them what they are really looking for. if you are not sure then I wouldn't keep flirting with her if you know she likes you but you are not sure.if you want to tell her and ask her if she wants to get to know you or hang out fine, but you have to be honest otherwise this wont go anywhere. liking her may just be that, you might be flattered by the attention and difference of her. Im sure she knows, but unless you speak to her or get to know her better on a one two one basis then the doors are open for her to get hurt. I don't think It really matters whether she knows or suspects you like her back or not, the real thing is if you are going to do anything about this. don't string her on in any way unless you'd like to take it to second base with a view to third etc... if you are trying to fob her off by talking about men when you like her, then again that isn't and wont get you anywhere. I think you need to sit down and think if you haven't already what it is that you do want and ask honestly if It is her as a love relationship that you want or are you just taken with her personality so much that it has got you thinkin? either way if you don't talk about this with her or get to know her so if she doesn't think that things could go any further then you can at least help the situation for her (and yourself) and not get to a point where she might resent you, or be heartbroken with the flirting that you don't really intend to go any further. maybe if you stop and think what it is that you like and think are you wanting this dame in your life in a proper, serious and loving way. if not, just let her go and find someone who can really love her and not waster her time or her affection. im sure she sounds like a good one, otherwise she wouldn't have made such a big impact on you. but some people are like that, they are just so bubbly that you question yourself and if you are falling for them, but that istn the right reason to be with someone who actually wants proper love. don't try to experiment, just think I either want this and im gonna go for it properly or im attracted to her (and tell her that but also say that you are still into guys, from what you say you are still into guys too, maybe it is just her), but you have to give her the opportunity to think about whether she feels giving her emotions to you is worth it for her too. you are attracted, but if that's all it is, curiosity, a bit of lust and wonder then maybe you are better talking to her and ask her what she thinks. if you cant talk to her openly, then youre not likely for this to go anywhere anyway. the main thing is to stop and think, be honest with her, and be real honest with yourself about this situation. good people always seem to get hurt that bit harder because people cant sort things out properly or honestly with them face to face, (and im sure you wouldn't want that for her). you know she likes you or think she does so again, its also about respecting her enough to find out what this is about for her as well as what you are feeling too. maybe she would like you both to talk but is not sure that this is really what you want so isn't discussing it. the only person that can tell you or maybe help you decide or help you see whether this is something with a possibility or just flattery that has gone into your emotions but may or may not be the real deal is her. if you talk to her it will hopefully help you to think about things in a more realistic way. see ya. maxi.
DontBreakEven Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 She’s the first woman I’ve liked. I’ve tried to cover it up by talking about men. She will have seen my Facebook/Snapchat’s about dates with men etc. Do you think she won’t have any clue I like her? No, she won't. As far as she is concerned, you are straight. And you keep reinforcing that notion. If you want her to think otherwise, stop "covering up". 1
Author Louisesarah Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 I just thought if she found me attractive she would have just told me otherwise how would I know.
stillafool Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 Why would she tell you you are attractive when you've been trying to cover up the fact that you like her by talking to men. If you want her to show she likes you stop the act and show her you like her too.
act00 Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I just thought if she found me attractive she would have just told me otherwise how would I know. Who do you know that ever comes right out and spills their guts like that...ever? Goodness, just reading posts on the board, there is a lot of wondering and not a lot of SAYING. Very few expose their soft underbelly like that. Man or woman, how often does someone say, "I really like you and want to date you," or "I'm attracted to you," OR do they "put out the feelers" and find ways to spend time and see if something develops...a "vibe," a mutual interest? You're clearly making sure she's aware you're hetero, so it's not like a typical boy/girl flirty situation where you have some notion that there's something going on beyond "friends." No, she's gay, you're not (or you have never explored your bi tendencies), so why in the world would she plop her feelings on the table and potentially destroy a good friendship? Why aren't YOU saying anything? See, the pendulum swings both ways. If you're interested in her, but you're not sure, why aren't YOU saying anything? Not easy, is it? I want you to think long and hard about whether doing "that" with another female trips your trigger...we're not with dealing mere with kissing and affection, here. A relationship includes "that," and me, as a hetero female, there's no way I have any interest in "that." Just a big ball of no. Think about this...be clear in yourself...no one wants to be in a sexless relationship...you like the cuddling and fondling, but nothing more...get it? Being new to "the scene" has it's own issues, and hey, if a woman is willing to walk you through this newness and insecurities and experiences, great, but don't lead her on. Pick one. Either give it a go or don't, but just like with orbiters and your (general you) guy friends...don't flirt, spoon, cuddle, and lead them on...pick and stick.
Author Louisesarah Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 Yeah your right nobody. I would be terrified incase she rejected me. Do you think me never being with women would put her off?
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