No_Go Posted July 29, 2018 Posted July 29, 2018 I was reminiscing on all past fears I had on the topic of family meeting BF... Gosh, now I did it! First time in 33 years 4th serious relationship and it finally happened. Advice to past self- it's all about the person one is with. Just cringing at my old threads like these: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/542847-introducing-parents-ideas-how-make-more-natural https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/590127-delayed-introductions-how-handle My mom was visiting me (from a different continent) and BF came over to have lunch with her, he did it in a way where it was so natural I barely felt the nerves. There were some neighbors that we also brought over so it wasn't an anxious interview but just normal lunch with interesting people:) Now that this first barrier is over, three of us will have more fun experiences, we're going on a road trip! I am not sure is there anything in particular I need to be watching out for? I mean to not overwhelm BF&mom with each other, I'm very encouraged from the first meet, so probably nothing to be nervous about, but it all just feels too good to be true... Just to mention for context, that's a relatively new relationship (~7 months) but we knew each other from long before then.
Lotsgoingon Posted July 29, 2018 Posted July 29, 2018 Congratulations! Sounds wonderful ... it is always a little strange meeting the parents of a partner or having them meet your parents. But seems like you were getting far more terrified than necessary. Congratulations on the shift!!!!!!!! 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 29, 2018 Posted July 29, 2018 Great to hear it NG. Yup, close to 90% of the problems come down to the person you are with. Out of curiosity, back when he was married and you were friends did you have a crush on him? Did he show any signs of flirting or crushing on you? 1
Author No_Go Posted July 29, 2018 Author Posted July 29, 2018 Great to hear it NG. Yup, close to 90% of the problems come down to the person you are with. Out of curiosity, back when he was married and you were friends did you have a crush on him? Did he show any signs of flirting or crushing on you? So right for 90% of the problems... and we usually all know it deep inside but trying to rationalize and convince ourselves that it is us:D Interesting question... When he was married, I had my live-in ex and then a hell of 6 months back&forth with him, so it didn’t really crossed my mind then, I was too busy with my own problems. Back then I also didn’t really like the job I had in the place where we worked together, and I was house hunting, for these 2 topics he was my ‘secret advisor’ - in the hindsight he was probably using the opportunity to talk a lot i.e. flirting, but I brushed it off like friendship talk... Then things happened on his end, I guessed it because the picture of the wife was gone, but I did crushed right then on PeterPan guy and started job searching, so once again didn’t think/pay attention of flirting. Forward to December- then one night we were having a long talk and he said we should go out, it hit me like a lon of bricks... I though how the heck we’ll go out on platonic lunch or dinner when there is all this heat in the air.... Well two weeks later he did set a date, it was a long awkward meal (me breaking things out of nervousness ), I badly crushed then and denial/ambiguity was gone:D LOL this was the longest sidetrack to answer your question ES:)
Gaeta Posted July 29, 2018 Posted July 29, 2018 Wow congrats !! Is it possible he's the first man you're proud of calling your boyfriend? and you know there is nothing embarassing about him your family could pick at? unlike your exs. Knowing your fear of family meeting with bf I am blown away you're all going on a road trip lol. Don't do anything special, trust you're with a mature man and you're in good hands. 2
Els Posted July 29, 2018 Posted July 29, 2018 Congratulations!! Tbh, I'm still not a fan of family meetings, lol. Of course, we still do it, but that doesn't mean I have to love it. I can't imagine being one of those couples that spend every single weekend with one or both sets of parents! 1
Author No_Go Posted July 30, 2018 Author Posted July 30, 2018 LOL I’m shocked too Spent the whole day on the road, 3 of us, and it was a blast!!!! No sense of awkwardness, felt like we’ve been all close for years I think he’s just one of these people that make life easy. He doesn’t over complicate things, is very lighthearted, no sign of pretentiousness, gets along with everyone so it all just clicked. The exes were so calculated and complicated I don’t even want to think:/ And the superficial circumstances about age difference, race difference, recent divorce, language barrier, different cultures and background, any of that in any other case would have kept me nervous here made no impact whatsoever... No quite the opposite, I was excited to introduce someone so cool Wow congrats !! Is it possible he's the first man you're proud of calling your boyfriend? and you know there is nothing embarassing about him your family could pick at? unlike your exs. Knowing your fear of family meeting with bf I am blown away you're all going on a road trip lol. Don't do anything special, trust you're with a mature man and you're in good hands. 2
Author No_Go Posted July 30, 2018 Author Posted July 30, 2018 Thanks!! I’m just like you with family meetings in general, my family has always been so messed up, LOL when living on different continents every weekends meets we’re out of question anyway. But I just needed somehow to warm it up at least with my mother and I think overall that’s the outcome. Besides introducing the person I love, I think I got a second huge impact: humanizing myself in front of my semi-estranged mother (well she knows all about my work life but didn’t know almost anything out of this realm...) Congratulations!! Tbh, I'm still not a fan of family meetings, lol. Of course, we still do it, but that doesn't mean I have to love it. I can't imagine being one of those couples that spend every single weekend with one or both sets of parents! 2
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