Soflovd Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 So 2 days ago is the day that the girl I thought I would marry is gone. Dating since 14 years old, (I know yeah a little young). This is my first post so bear with me im new to this lol. Keep in mind we were really in love, like our love was really deep. At least thats how I felt on my end of the relationship. You can't always trust what the other one in the relationship tells you and I've figured that out. it started off in high school. we were kids, had so much fun together, we did everything together from vacations (cruises, amusement parks, etc), prom and homecoming, to yearly routines on holidays we spent so much time together and this girl was a lot of my high school childhood. It started to get rocky around 2 years, she played with me with this guy she met on one of her family vacations and left me telling me she was confused. Long story short we got back together , this left me insecure and lost trust. Anyways we went on like any normal relationship for the remainder of the time she lived near me. She moved 2 hours away about 4 years after we started dating. We missed each other like crazy, we were trying to find ways to be with each other I was even thinking about going to the military so we can live together. Ended up not doing that I ended up going to medical school, things got so rocky. She pretty much told me she wanted to start her life and she wants kids soon and wants to be married. I explained I need to finish my school and now she's going away to the military. We planned on getting married after im done with my school. She didn't really like the idea. keep in mind this girl has changed her career like she changes her underwear. Lately she's just been so bored where she lives, theres really nothing to do. Im really busy with school but I always try my hardest to call and see her, reassure her, normal relationship stuff/real feelings. She's resorted to hanging out with girls that are immature and just gas her up and drag her down to childish, immature ways. She takes it personally that im busy with school and started distancing herself by giving 100% of her time to this one girl. So she went away with this girl and she didn't wanna make a second to talk to me, she was being really weird, very very weird. She came home and we were supposed to talk like we agreed on after a week of not talking. She texts me she's going to the girls house and I speak up and tell her that its messed up. Back and forth it ends with her ending things. Keep in mind that throughout this relationship she left me time and time again. For me to beg and beg for her to come back. My family has gotten sick of this and spoke up to her and it just sent her over the top. She deleted all of us on everything from facebook to instagram, to our numbers. Ive begged for the last two days just like I did every other time, but im trying to come to my senses, my heart wants her but logically I think its smarter to move on. Ive had a lot of family and friends here for me. my question is to you guys, how do you guys cope with this. Ive honestly been a mess. It makes no sense to me how I can care about someone more than myself and they don't give a F**K about you after 5 years of being in eachothers lives. I really hope all girls arent like this, I see this happen too much and I know im a good person I do the most for the people I love. It blows my mind and I literally can't process how some people can proceed to do things like this.:( I really hope theres girls out there that are really down for a real realtionship and can keep it real. Thank you guys, share your thoughts... opinions... whatever you wanna say thank you for taking time to read I could've wrote a lot more but I don't wanna bore anyone.
Marc878 Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 Keep in mind we were really in love, like our love was really deep. At least thats how I felt on my end of the relationship. You can't always trust what the other one in the relationship tells you and I've figured that out. . Obviously she doesn't feel the same way. Begging makes you look unnattractive and weak. If you chase they move farther away. You need to mature a bit.
Author Soflovd Posted July 28, 2018 Author Posted July 28, 2018 Obviously she doesn't feel the same way. Begging makes you look unnattractive and weak. If you chase they move farther away. You need to mature a bit. of course I agree with that, I have plenty of maturing to do. Im only 19. I know deep down I shouldn't beg, its unnecessary. Its just impulse that takes over sometimes but im trying to suppress it and hoping I can overcome
ExpatInItaly Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 If she has left you numerous times, this wasn't a deeply-felt love on her end. She's still a kid herself, in many ways. The fact that she wants to marry and have children now with you (and not wait until you were both in a place to actually handle it) tells me she has a heck of a lot of growing up to do. You paint her friends as immature, but she is too. She has this fantasy of playing house, but her actions indicate she is nowhere near ready for that. This is normal at her age, but you need to see her for what she is: a young girl, who outgrew your relationship and won't truly be ready for a serious commitment for a long time. She's too young and inexperienced. As you get older, you will have an easier time finding girls who want and are ready for a serious relationship. This one was not.
Sweetfish Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 So 2 days ago is the day that the girl I thought I would marry is gone. Dating since 14 years old, (I know yeah a little young). This is my first post so bear with me im new to this lol. Keep in mind we were really in love, like our love was really deep. At least thats how I felt on my end of the relationship. You can't always trust what the other one in the relationship tells you and I've figured that out. it started off in high school. we were kids, had so much fun together, we did everything together from vacations (cruises, amusement parks, etc), prom and homecoming, to yearly routines on holidays we spent so much time together and this girl was a lot of my high school childhood. It started to get rocky around 2 years, she played with me with this guy she met on one of her family vacations and left me telling me she was confused. Long story short we got back together , this left me insecure and lost trust. Anyways we went on like any normal relationship for the remainder of the time she lived near me. She moved 2 hours away about 4 years after we started dating. We missed each other like crazy, we were trying to find ways to be with each other I was even thinking about going to the military so we can live together. Ended up not doing that I ended up going to medical school, things got so rocky. She pretty much told me she wanted to start her life and she wants kids soon and wants to be married. I explained I need to finish my school and now she's going away to the military. We planned on getting married after im done with my school. She didn't really like the idea. keep in mind this girl has changed her career like she changes her underwear. Lately she's just been so bored where she lives, theres really nothing to do. Im really busy with school but I always try my hardest to call and see her, reassure her, normal relationship stuff/real feelings. She's resorted to hanging out with girls that are immature and just gas her up and drag her down to childish, immature ways. She takes it personally that im busy with school and started distancing herself by giving 100% of her time to this one girl. So she went away with this girl and she didn't wanna make a second to talk to me, she was being really weird, very very weird. She came home and we were supposed to talk like we agreed on after a week of not talking. She texts me she's going to the girls house and I speak up and tell her that its messed up. Back and forth it ends with her ending things. Keep in mind that throughout this relationship she left me time and time again. For me to beg and beg for her to come back. My family has gotten sick of this and spoke up to her and it just sent her over the top. She deleted all of us on everything from facebook to instagram, to our numbers. Ive begged for the last two days just like I did every other time, but im trying to come to my senses, my heart wants her but logically I think its smarter to move on. Ive had a lot of family and friends here for me. my question is to you guys, how do you guys cope with this. Ive honestly been a mess. It makes no sense to me how I can care about someone more than myself and they don't give a F**K about you after 5 years of being in eachothers lives. I really hope all girls arent like this, I see this happen too much and I know im a good person I do the most for the people I love. It blows my mind and I literally can't process how some people can proceed to do things like this.:( I really hope theres girls out there that are really down for a real realtionship and can keep it real. Thank you guys, share your thoughts... opinions... whatever you wanna say thank you for taking time to read I could've wrote a lot more but I don't wanna bore anyone. This is how you simply create a shell of your self and become empty. What doesn't make sense is how you spent half of a decade focusing on another individual and using the left over resources for your self. The person you are with will always view you as a weaker when you exercise this life style.
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