mortensorchid Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 I need to write a book, truly, on the strange things that I have encountered with OLD. I decided to pull my self esteem out of the gutter and try this thing again (the self esteem issues are a hard one to get past, but that's a whole other story not exactly related to this as "just another internet weirdo" but that's a whole other story)... I sign onto the Bumble thing again. Always start off with a general message to greet once the other says he agrees to speak with me. "Hello how are you?" Me: Hello how are you? Him: (this is the verbage he used) *Almost drops towel around my waist* M: Um ... What? H: Excuse me, I am going to take a shower brb M: Ok I pause thinking he's actually going to take a shower. That's what he said, after all. H: Could you come and help me wash my back? M: Good Lord. Are you really? I mean ARE YOU REALLY? Then he unmatches me from Bumble. *rubbing my forehead* 1
Normm Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 There's a lot of deviants on the dating sites that have no intention of actually meeting a real live woman, they don't have a clue how to go about doing that. Many are frustrated and angry because they're social failures. Rather than getting mad at themselves they target innocent women. So they talk dirty to them in an offensive manner and it gives them some sort of a cheap thrill and that's the closest they'll ever get. We're not all like that. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted July 27, 2018 Author Posted July 27, 2018 There's a lot of deviants on the dating sites that have no intention of actually meeting a real live woman, they don't have a clue how to go about doing that. Many are frustrated and angry because they're social failures. Rather than getting mad at themselves they target innocent women. So they talk dirty to them in an offensive manner and it gives them some sort of a cheap thrill and that's the closest they'll ever get. We're not all like that. I guess. Just wish there were some who were just a bit more serious minded and not trying this nonsense. 1
Doost Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 Ah yes the old come take a shower with me. It sounds hot but showers are better alone. Now a bath that’s better for two. The shower usually only one person gets hit by the water 1
Normm Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 I guess. Just wish there were some who were just a bit more serious minded and not trying this nonsense. There are many.
OatsAndHall Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 Unfortunately, this line has probably worked for him in a few occasions and that's why he threw it out at you. I stopped trying to understand people via OLD a long time ago... A woman messaged me once on OLD and asked for my number within the first conversation. She then proceeded to photo bomb me for five minutes and each pic was more and more revealing. She was completely topless in the last one.. I texted, "That's too much for me, take care" and she responded with "What did I do wrong?". I just blocked her and called it good. But, keep your chin up and just laugh at the weirdos. Or, block and report them if they push things too far. 1
FMW Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 Mortensorchid, your OLD stories are very entertaining! Confirms my feeling that I would find it just too awful. 1
Art_Critic Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 Any woman ready for sexting would have fallen for his idiocy and just replied back something sexual... Then the sexting relationship would have begun.. The guy was only looking to get his rocks off.. and you can bet he has had women fall for the line... By laying it out like that he is cutting right to the chase of what he wants.. to get his noodle wet... I saw a guy once many years ago who in a bar went up and ask a ton of women if they wanted to *u*k, he ask them just like that too.. he got slapped and one even screamed at him, but about 15 mins later he walked out of the bar with not one but 2 girls, one on each arm.. What that guy did to those woman did was rude but in the end he cut right to the chase and got what he was looking for... Don't think a second thought about guys that prep you for sex by beginning the conversation with sexting.. they are a waste of time... 1
smackie9 Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 The dude is an idiot... Next. This^^^ Next time quickly delete when you don't get a normal response. There will always be pervs. I remember the old days when IM was a new thing (ICQ), I would get all kinds of strangers sending me dick picks and crap....guys are just gross. Ya I finally learned that if I don't know you, you get deleted/blocked. I still get these jerks friend requesting me on FB. One guy posed as Russell Crow lol. I reported it but FB don't care.
hippychick3 Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 Yuck. What a loser. I think I would just say "barf" and nothing else. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 See the universe is trying to tell you something. You basically got a repeat of your last bumble experience. This guy sounds like he is trying to sext you, hook up but definitely not date you. So what are you going to do? Remember I gave you examples of how you can characterize this occurrence and also how you could respond so that it would boost your self-esteem rather than hurt it. Perfect time to try. The universe is definitely giving you a sign that you should practice this and help your change your opinion of your romantic luck. It's an opportunity. Glad you are making light/humor of the situation. I'd be careful about characterizing it as anything super unique or "that keeps happening to you", because in a down moment you tend to call yourself and your experiences a failure. See it for what it is: this type of stuff happens to every one on dating apps. That's it. Don't read into it as for what it means about "you". Good luck 1
Happy Lemming Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 To mortensorchid: Were both of these "bumble" matches you posted located in your area?? Were they local individuals?? I know you mentioned you lived in a small town. Just curious.
Author mortensorchid Posted July 28, 2018 Author Posted July 28, 2018 They were not the same people, I promise you, but they are similar enough that makes me laugh. I'm just glad I have this forum to share things with.
coolheadal Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 (edited) I need to write a book, truly, on the strange things that I have encountered with OLD. I decided to pull my self esteem out of the gutter and try this thing again (the self esteem issues are a hard one to get past, but that's a whole other story not exactly related to this as "just another internet weirdo" but that's a whole other story)... I sign onto the Bumble thing again. Always start off with a general message to greet once the other says he agrees to speak with me. "Hello how are you?" Me: Hello how are you? Him: (this is the verbage he used) *Almost drops towel around my waist* M: Um ... What? H: Excuse me, I am going to take a shower brb M: Ok I pause thinking he's actually going to take a shower. That's what he said, after all. H: Could you come and help me wash my back? M: Good Lord. Are you really? I mean ARE YOU REALLY? Then he unmatches me from Bumble. *rubbing my forehead* Sounds like your getting bored with these guys on Bumble. I mean no way to live with those call men they are just kids playing games with foolish talk about taking a shower with a stranger. You just don't know WHO your dealing with on any dating app today. I had women drive out to my house in the middle of the night just to check out my house for their own agenda. What are they looking for someone who can give them a place to live and take care of them. I had two so far did just that. Those ended up either just friends or just nothing.. I rather take my chances in the real world instead playing with the dating apps ever again. Where I am at today I can't even begin to say what is my status! I know two words I can say right now! I AM FREE! Edited July 28, 2018 by coolheadal
Happy Lemming Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 I'm just glad I have this forum to share things with. We are glad you are here. It sounds like the forum is here to stay, so keep sharing. Blue skies...
ElKay Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 Sounds like he wanted to roleplay... Nothing wrong with it if both people are into it, I guess!
act00 Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 I've had lots of guys go straight to the sex on the online forums. They want something and may as well ask...women will engage in this, but it won't happen if they don't ask...simple as that. Like the above example with the bar...it took a few tries and a slap, but ultimately this guy got what he was after. This isn't a personal reflection on you...he's just one of the creepers, and you wish Magic 8 Ball could predict the outcome before investing even five minutes with this guy. Their profile looks good. They say they want a relationship. It's a let-down, to say the least when they simply want to sext and rub one out or want a loose and casual relationship, or just a ONS. They say they're seriously seeking a mate...and then the shower routine, or the second you exchange phone numbers or move to a text app that allows pictures, the dick pics roll in. There's not much you can do but move on and hope for the best with the next guy. Take it with a grain of salt. I've had men approach me for ONS or FWB...it bugs me because I do state clearly that I'm looking for serious, but all they can do is put the subject out there and hope for a bite.
preraph Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 There are plenty of people on OLD sites who really only want shower inspiration, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Versacehottie Posted July 29, 2018 Posted July 29, 2018 oh yeah I get that they aren't the same people. it's basically the same type of thing happening tho. So a good time to put into practice what an ideal and uplifting response (or non-response but characterization) would be . You want to stay away from any characterization on yourself for this event or anything that says that repetitive and non-productive things KEEP happening to you. Again, you only spent 5 minutes on this and it is something to laugh about (which i am proud of you that you are doing). Respond in a way that builds on the positive things that you think about yourself or want to be. That build your idea of "how you are in romantic relationships", i.e. not up for nonsense and willing to shut down someone who gives it to you, better than this. See how the SAME type of occurrence can BUILD on the good things you think about yourself--even when it is NOT directly a positive event, like this. You are the beliefs you tell yourself about yourself and it follows in your actions and draws what you want toward you--that also works in reverse, do the ideal actions, tell yourself the ideal story about any event and your beliefs about yourself will improve, thus attracting better people and events into your life and having you happier about your choices along the way.
Malin889 Posted July 29, 2018 Posted July 29, 2018 There's a lot of deviants on the dating sites that have no intention of actually meeting a real live woman, they don't have a clue how to go about doing that. Many are frustrated and angry because they're social failures. Rather than getting mad at themselves they target innocent women. So they talk dirty to them in an offensive manner and it gives them some sort of a cheap thrill and that's the closest they'll ever get. We're not all like that. I hope you are right Normm. I cancelled my account because of too much of that b.s.. There must be nice guys out there who don’t talk dirty, right?!
Normm Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 I hope you are right Normm. I cancelled my account because of too much of that b.s.. There must be nice guys out there who don’t talk dirty, right?! Yes. And I've dated numerous women who were also frustrated with the sort of guys they ran into and were either considering giving up on online dating or already had but came back because it's still the best way to meet people.
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