Spreeley713 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. I have no problem getting dates with guys. It's getting them to stick around for the long haul that is the issue. Take the last guy for example. I'll call him Binky. We met mid-June and we were seeing each other until last week. When we spent time together, I thought it was great and he seemed to enjoy it as well. Apparently, his work schedule became very busy and he also had hobbies he enjoyed. Okay, I get it. But in that month of seeing each other, we only went to dinner in public once. I mentioned it, he said he would totally be down for going out, but we would have to plan for it due to his schedule. Fair enough. A couple of days would go by, so I'd ask him about planning something and he would say I don't know yet. A few days after that, I ended up blowing up on him via text and I haven't heard from him since. There are other guys wanting to take me out, but now I don't see the point because I feel like it'll end up the same. Plus, I'm still not over my feelings for Binky.
smackie9 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 You have to have expectations, like he takes you OUT on dates regularly, sees you more than once a week, He keeps in consistent contact with you, the conversation isn't always about him, he actually listens, he remembers how you like your coffee and brings you one, he brings you flowers, he compliments you, he goes out of his way to dress nice for you, he wants to impress you, he treats you with respect, he's a gentleman, he's never too busy, etc. If the gent isn't fulfilling your expectations, then kick him out the door. It's not going to get better. By what you have written there, he was busy going on dates with other women. A truly interested man will make you his priority, and be consistent about it too. 1
Romantic_Antics Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Plus, I'm still not over my feelings for Binky. Don't worry, everybody moves on from their Binky at some point. 1
basil67 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Based on this scenario, the thing you are doing wrong is spending too long spinning your wheels with guys who aren't giving you an actual relationship. Of course, blowing up by text is how to get rid of a guy really quickly. In future, if you're getting this antsy, end it before you lose your temper. It's never a good look 1
Happy Lemming Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 (edited) Is he in financial distress with his bills?? Perhaps that is why he hasn't taken you out to dinner more often?? I can see work getting in the way of dating, but not hobbies... If I'm dating someone I like, my hobbies can collect dust. Although, if there is overtime money to be made or if my job calls everyone in for a mandatory weekend, I will be going to work. Just my two cents... Edited July 26, 2018 by Happy Lemming spacing
Lotsgoingon Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 Say this again: in a month, you only went out in public once? Did you go directly to sex? And staying inside all the time? Or am I missing something?
Versacehottie Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 Binky was lazy...about dating you. You need to treat yourself like a total prize from day one of meeting a guy. I'm going to guess that you need to up your standards and hold firm to those at the beginning. It's easier than trying to change them once you are in it (even if you are only a month and a half in). I think whatever you are doing is happening in the first few dates. Although it doesn't help to blow up several weeks later when you are frustrated. Though to be really honest, if Binky was already half-assing it there was probably nothing you could do at that point to make him more into you. Make the guys jump through more hoops before you go out the first time and and the first dates. Make sure you are evaluating HIM not trying to sell yourself to him. Huge difference in perspective. I suspect if you are getting less than you deserve, it's because you send out that vibe and then settle for it (at least for a while). Almost all the guys (ALL, I'm pretty sure) that I know that are adoring boyfriends, really like that they have a girl that they feel that they need to keep showing their best too & impress. That is KEY in making someone a long term boyfriend, I believe. There is a reason why people marry the one that they say, "made me a better man".
mortensorchid Posted July 27, 2018 Posted July 27, 2018 That guy was lazy about dating you, agree with above poster who said this. There are people who sometimes chat for days, weeks, even months and never meet on OLD apps or websites out there. Accept the fact that this guy was probably out doing other things (possibly seeing other women as well) and never giving a second thought to seeing you again. It really wasn't about you specifically.
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