Iris The Butterfly Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 How could you possibly be exclusive with someone after three dates in the period of two months?? Such a low level of interest on his part, clearly not ready to date, even if he's trying to or saying he's ready. The fact that it took two weeks of talking to meet for the first time shows insecurity and not being ready/low interest. Coming out of a 20 year marriage to boot. No, you didn't hurt him by posting pictures on Bumble of your trip when he didn't ever initiate contact. Since you're on a dating app, surely there are lots of other men on there to choose from. NEXT!
Gaeta Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 Update: He texted few a few days ago saying, "Sorry if I got attached to you too quickly, I didn't mean for that to happen." I texted back saying that he didn't have to apologize for that and I didn't realize he felt that way by his actions. I told him we could start over and forget what happened. No reply once again! I just don't get it! Why say that and then disregard my reply? 3 dates in 2 months, when exactly did he get too attached? Like I said, don't date men freshly out of relationships, they don't know what they want, they think they want a relationship 1 minute and the next they're scared. Drop him already! 1
basil67 Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 Update: He texted few a few days ago saying, "Sorry if I got attached to you too quickly, I didn't mean for that to happen." I texted back saying that he didn't have to apologize for that and I didn't realize he felt that way by his actions. I told him we could start over and forget what happened. No reply once again! I just don't get it! Why say that and then disregard my reply? Oh Lena, he wasn't asking for a start over. He didn't even suggest seeing you again. You completely misinterpreted his text. Time to leave him behind.
ThreeRainbows Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 He's not interested, but he wanted to make it look like your fault to avoid feeling guilt about ghosting you/leading you on. He spun it so you were the problem. Truth is, he's a narcissist.
PRW Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 He's not interested, but he wanted to make it look like your fault to avoid feeling guilt about ghosting you/leading you on. He spun it so you were the problem. Truth is, he's a narcissist.I don't fault him too much here (and I'm usually harder on the guys). I think he did more things "correct" than the OP did,...although they both screwed up a bit. When he said "Sorry if I got attached to you too quickly, I didn't mean for that to happen." he was more or less accepting some blame but it sounded more like the "soft worded" reason that women usually give guys when they are not interested in seeing them again but are trying to soften it and not hurt the guys ego. I didn't see anywhere that he blamed her. In the end it is like I said in my first post. It is just two insecure people feeding each other's insecurities. It doesn't need to be made any more complex than that. Of course the guy doesn't know what he wants just coming out of a 20 year marriage, who would expect him to? He is also 20 years out of practice with dating,...and his concept of dating is probably the way dating was two decades ago,...think culture shock. They both screwed around messaging for way too long before meeting and built up a lot of false hope that, at least for him, didn't hold up after meeting each other a few times. There is no one "evil" here. He just decided he wasn't that into her and she finds the rejection painful,...that is all it is.
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