Navybluegal Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Met a guy online, he suggested pretty quickly to connect over phone. I was 100% onboard, and we had a good conversation two days in a row. The next day he asked me out over a text (I'm not a fan of that). I suggested that we discuss it over the phone. He called me the next day when I was unavailable. Didn't leave a VM. Later texted saying "it would b good to chat". He is 40, I'm mid-30s. What do you all think? Seems like if a man is emotionally mature and considerate, he would not be acting as a teenager in the digital aspect of things...
Lotsgoingon Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 (edited) Talking on the phone and then asking someone out via texting ... 5 years ago or ten years ago ... I might have frowned on that ... Now, texting is basically an extension of talking. When people reconstruct conversations it's hard to distinguish the two. All you had to do was type, "Yes, I'd like that." And then you could talk on the phone more at your request ... Texting is quite intimate these days and I'm in my 50s! ... And I recognize that ... So I think he was quite interested. He asked you out ... Probably when he couldn't reach you ... he added up your non-answer of "let's talk on the phone" together with you not answering the phone ... and concluded you don't want to go out on a date with him. A reply to a text of "I suggest we talk over the phone" ... reminds me of those texts that go like this: "We need to talk." "We need to talk" is never followed by good news. Failing to simply reply "yes" to a date via text (you talked already to him on the phone!) ... totally sounds like a "no" to me. Next time ... try this: say "Yes" to the date via text ... and then add that you want to talk on the phone. Edited July 26, 2018 by Lotsgoingon 4
Gretchen12 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Whenever someone texts me and I'd rather talk on the phone, I just call, or I text back "can you talk now?" You seem to be finding fault with him. 2
basil67 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Met a guy online, he suggested pretty quickly to connect over phone. I was 100% onboard, and we had a good conversation two days in a row. The next day he asked me out over a text (I'm not a fan of that). I suggested that we discuss it over the phone. He called me the next day when I was unavailable. Didn't leave a VM. Later texted saying "it would b good to chat". He is 40, I'm mid-30s. What do you all think? Seems like if a man is emotionally mature and considerate, he would not be acting as a teenager in the digital aspect of things... Heaps of people don't leave VMs - it's because our phones tell us there's a missed call. Heck I don't listen to the majority of my VMs, I just return the call. Which begs the question: why didn't you just return his call? 2
MaleIntuition Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 He asked you out. That’s a sign of interest. Most girls in their 20 and early 30 prefere to be asked out by text these days, gives them space and some time to consider...
basil67 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 He asked you out. That’s a sign of interest. Most girls in their 20 and early 30 prefere to be asked out by text these days, gives them space and some time to consider... I've never thought of that angle. Asking by text would have given me the breathing space I required to say "no" back in the olden days. 2
carhill Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Presuming he's not a MM on a burner phone, my first thought is if it don't flow let it go. Seems like a style mismatch to me. 1
kendahke Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Met a guy online, he suggested pretty quickly to connect over phone. I was 100% onboard, and we had a good conversation two days in a row. The next day he asked me out over a text (I'm not a fan of that). I suggested that we discuss it over the phone. He called me the next day when I was unavailable. Didn't leave a VM. Later texted saying "it would b good to chat". He is 40, I'm mid-30s. What do you all think? Seems like if a man is emotionally mature and considerate, he would not be acting as a teenager in the digital aspect of things... You'd be surprised at how people interact with their digital communications devices. If you want to date him, then return the call. If you want to be in high dudgeon over him using text to ask you out, then block him and move on. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 If you enjoyed the phone conversation you did have, refusing to meet him because you didn't like the transmittal method he used to ask you out seems petty. Perhaps he was afraid of rejection & to read the word no rather than hear you voice it was a self protective thing. Meet him. Evaluate him for who is actual is, rather then judging him for his choice to text. 4
Happy Lemming Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Why don't you call him and tell him you prefer to talk on the phone vs. text messaging. Once he knows your preference, I'm sure, going forward, he will call.
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