sadsoul Posted September 3, 2005 Posted September 3, 2005 Hi, I have been in a long distance relationship for 18 months with a guy from another country. 10 000 miles away. He has now given me until 1st October to be in his country or he is walking away. He said he is tired of living his life with me over the internet. He has been to my country once for 3 weeks. I have been to his country, 1st time = 2 weeks, 2nd time = 5 weeks, 3rd time= 3 weeks, 4th time = 2 weeks. He wants me there in October to get married. I wanted to go in August, my own expense, and he said, no...I don't want visits, I want you here as my wife or nothing. I have 2 kids aged 22 and 24, both stay with their boyfriend, but younger comes home 2 times a week...it's hard making this decision. Is he being reasonable or unreasonable. I wanted to go to him a few more times to make sure it was right. His son of 15 poses a huge problem, he sleeps all day, internet all night, does not go to school, and is manipulative and difficult to talk to, he ignores me for days and has not spoken to his dad for 6 months. What do I do...
TnT Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Can i ask how old u both are and what countries u r both from?
Outcast Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 It would be a huge mistake to change countries and marry someone you barely know. If you can't move there just to work for a while and get to know him better, then you should probably move on.
freesoul Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 He is from Israel and I am from Africa. He is 50 and I am 44. We get on very well, plus we last saw each other in February, 6 months ago. How does one just up and move there. I will feel so vulnerable and have no support there. Although he has promised good medical treatment and anything I basically want, he will give me. After I get there, he want to go to Greece island and marry, because he is Jewish and I am Christian. what do you think.....
TnT Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 Umm, so what church are u going to get married into? jewish or christian? and how do u feel about doing that? how many times has he been to visit u? once? y has he not come to c u? if he can give u everything u want, y cant he come and visit u for a while? I dont know how much advice i can give u, all i can give is my opinion. I am only 24yo, so i dont think i can help much, but with that said, can u honestly say u love him with all ur heart? if so, then go for it, if not, then its not ment to be and u should go with ur gutt instinct. IMO, i would put my family and their needs first. What do they say about this move? have they met him yet? I dont think u should go over and marry straight away if u have not had the opportunity to live with him. I think u will find a huge culture difference, and if he is demanding now, he will always be. Is that what u want for the future? I hope this has helped, but sorry if it hasnt. (im only a young one...lol)
freesoul Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 I appreciate your input here....and you're absolutely right. what you say makes absolute sense and maybe he has got me so confused, I can't see the wood for the trees. He has been chipping away at me for 18 months, which I am beginning to see. I think I need about a 2 month complete break from him, to get my mind. He can and could see I was very vulnerable....I went through hell few years ago, and he has taken advantage. I don't have family, but I have 2 kids here, who are my life....they come first, without a doubt:) Thank you
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