rayare Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 My apologies if I sound unexperienced to all you dating pro's out here, but oh well lol. Basically, I'm in my early 20's and I work at a bank. Throughout my time working at the bank, I've helped one customer a few times. I find her (also early 20's) really attractive and we smile at eachother, crack jokes, whatever.. might mean nothing, could mean something. And for the record, this has nothing to do with money, my account isn't great but it's looking better than hers haha.. Anyways, I've wanted to ask her out for some time but I'm a very shy person. Especially if I'm faced with asking a girl out in front of my co-workers. I understand you shouldn't care what anyone thinks but I can't help it. I obviously know her name based on the fact that I'm familiar with her account. I did a bit of creeping and looked her up on social media.. Pretty clear that she doesn't have a boyfriend. Is it too much to send her a message and see if she'd be willing to have lunch or something? Since I don't have it in me to actually ask her out, the only other option I see would be to write my phone number down and pass it to her. I'm not the biggest fan of that idea either. I realize no one cares about any of this, but ever since I graduated highschool and moved past old friends.. I've been incredibly lonely. I mean it when I say that I have the purest intentions with this girl, and I'm looking for a new friend at the very least. Maybe it could lead to something more, but that's not my primary focus. The way I'm looking at it.. is that the worst that will happen is she says no.. and that probably will happen but I want to try at the very least. Thoughts on how I could start a conversation or what my best choice would be? Thanks c:
nospam99 Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 My understanding is that you are a bank teller and she is a customer. Everything depends on exactly how 'friendly' your interaction has been at work. Only you know. 'Crack jokes, whatever'. There are personal jokes and 'whatever' and there's small talk. Has she ever asked you a personal question? If not, I'd stay 'professional' and 'keep away'. If she has, I'd take that as an opening and say something like 'That's an awfully personal question for you to have asked me. I'm not offended but I'd rather not answer in my workplace. Are you curious enough that you would you be interested in discussing it further elsewhere some other time?' If she 'bites', offer your phone number, on a business card if available.
SevenCity Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 My understanding is that you are a bank teller and she is a customer. Everything depends on exactly how 'friendly' your interaction has been at work. Only you know. 'Crack jokes, whatever'. There are personal jokes and 'whatever' and there's small talk. Has she ever asked you a personal question? If not, I'd stay 'professional' and 'keep away'. If she has, I'd take that as an opening and say something like 'That's an awfully personal question for you to have asked me. I'm not offended but I'd rather not answer in my workplace. Are you curious enough that you would you be interested in discussing it further elsewhere some other time?' If she 'bites', offer your phone number, on a business card if available. For a guy who is shy, that would likely give him a heart attack. OP - don’t send a note, women are universally turned off by weakness. Just do something simple like “You’re so much fun, want to grab a bite to eat/drink this weekend?” I know it’s hard but I guarantee you 100% failure if you don’t ask. 90% you creep her out with a note unless it said “Give me all your money” because you would be a bank teller robbing a customer lol (don’t do that). Look at it this way, you are young and can be shy your whole life or do something about it. Worst thing she can do is say no. In cases like this you have to man up. Rejection gets easier with experience and she might just say yes.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 25, 2018 Posted July 25, 2018 I've never worked in a bank so I have no clue about privacy laws and what-not. If your job wouldn't be in jeopardy, I think I'd slip her a note the next time she comes in....a note that asks for her phone number and includes a pen. I think that would be super cute. Giving her your number puts the ball in her court and I think you should be taking the lead here. I would not contact her on social media. If you've totally missed the cues and she's not at all into you, it could jeopardize your job if she complains to your boss.
MajesticUnicorn Posted July 25, 2018 Posted July 25, 2018 100% do not ask her out via social media. That’s an invasion of privacy and will creep her out. Either do it somehow in person or don’t at all. 1
preraph Posted July 25, 2018 Posted July 25, 2018 First, find out what the bank policy is about asking customers out. Second, do you even know if she's taken? I think first you have to have a short personal discussion like it's the holiday coming up, so you say, "Do you have big plans for Labor Day?" This is her opportunity to say, "No we're just staying home and taking it easy." Notice the "we're." Or she might say, "I'm going to the lake" or whatever, singular. Or she may say, "My kids want to go to the zoo, so that's what we're doing." So ask a leading question and find out if she's even single. She will take this slightly personal question as interest only up to a point, which is what's appropriate in this setting. But it opens the door for her to start asking you similar things. Maybe in the short exchange, you find out you have a common interest . But find out your work policy.
Versacehottie Posted July 25, 2018 Posted July 25, 2018 100% do not ask her out via social media. That’s an invasion of privacy and will creep her out. Either do it somehow in person or don’t at all. I agree with this and the implications such as if she reports you because she is bothered by it could be major with your employer. Also if i was in her shoes and she is just being friendly, this creeping would bug me whereas in the moment talking to her and saying "hey we should hang out sometime" wouldn't bother me (no matter what my answer was). It's cooler that you didn't browse into my financial and whatever other document trail banks keep on us to figure out and keep track of my last name & then find me on social media. It wouldn't bother me though if you said next time when you see her if you are too nervous to say "hey we should hang out" if you said "hey we should follow each other--bet we like lots of the same things or check out my photos or whatever". Basically the idea to me is that you are GIVING her the choice whether or not to allow you into her life more than your seeing each other at the bank. I would say yes if some guy asked me for my IG and then you can take on more flirting and personal conversations there. Good luck
coolheadal Posted July 25, 2018 Posted July 25, 2018 My apologies if I sound unexperienced to all you dating pro's out here, but oh well lol. Basically, I'm in my early 20's and I work at a bank. Throughout my time working at the bank, I've helped one customer a few times. I find her (also early 20's) really attractive and we smile at eachother, crack jokes, whatever.. might mean nothing, could mean something. And for the record, this has nothing to do with money, my account isn't great but it's looking better than hers haha.. Anyways, I've wanted to ask her out for some time but I'm a very shy person. Especially if I'm faced with asking a girl out in front of my co-workers. I understand you shouldn't care what anyone thinks but I can't help it. I obviously know her name based on the fact that I'm familiar with her account. I did a bit of creeping and looked her up on social media.. Pretty clear that she doesn't have a boyfriend. Is it too much to send her a message and see if she'd be willing to have lunch or something? Since I don't have it in me to actually ask her out, the only other option I see would be to write my phone number down and pass it to her. I'm not the biggest fan of that idea either. I realize no one cares about any of this, but ever since I graduated highschool and moved past old friends.. I've been incredibly lonely. I mean it when I say that I have the purest intentions with this girl, and I'm looking for a new friend at the very least. Maybe it could lead to something more, but that's not my primary focus. The way I'm looking at it.. is that the worst that will happen is she says no.. and that probably will happen but I want to try at the very least. Thoughts on how I could start a conversation or what my best choice would be? Thanks c: Moments like this I do like to share my life adventurers an etc with others here on LS. I was once a Bank Teller in NYC myself. There was a female customer that would come in I was interested in too. I use the NCR computer to look her up and see where she lived. I never gone to her area. But she was my customer same thing you have describe too smiles and etc. Back then I am not as I am today but I had told a co-worker and he too was keen on her as well. We both were shy to ask her out or anything else. How would you do this during working hours it would be next to impossible to do! One day I would figure out how to do it maybe run into out side the bank. Never happen oh well. How did it end never got the chance to ask her out. Now it's your turn, you have her account info you know there are now privacy laws you be careful what you know about her. If she's single you can proceed, but you need to make sure she's not seeing or with someone. To do this you can say hey did you bf or husband taken to you to see that movie playing now (come up with a movie name) it's the only way to find out if she has someone. If she said she doesn't have anyone. You can pop in a question an see if you goes for it. Would you care to go with me to see that movie this weekend? See what she said? Can't hurt to try..I would never suggest stalking her with her account info never go to their dwelling it's too dangerous and you can loose your job at the bank if privacy has been compromised.
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