dateme Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 My friend gets frustrated because he has narrowed his pool to church girls but hasn't had much luck. He quit clubbing and having sex with strangers.
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 It depends on what your goals are. Clubbing is going to get you a lot of instant gratification. Only dating "Church girls" will require effort: you have to get to know people & spend time developing & maintaining a rapport rather than simply falling into bed.
basil67 Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 Perhaps he needs to date women other than church girls. 1
ElKay Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 I'm a Christian but don't require my dates to believe too. It definitely makes your pool of choices smaller if you limit yourself to Christians, especially active Christians. Some might believe but not have someone to practice or go with to Church. How is he looking for them? Just going to churches or is he checking online?
kendahke Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 (edited) My friend gets frustrated because he has narrowed his pool to church girls but hasn't had much luck. He quit clubbing and having sex with strangers. It depends upon how hard in the paint you go with your xtianity. Some go hard all the way; others give a nod and keep it moving (like me). IMO, churches aren't dating pools. You're there to learn/hear the word. Also if a woman is really devout, she's going to notice johnny-just-got-saved's who suddenly pop up and each week, are sitting next to different women, then disappear because the pickings are slim. Edited July 24, 2018 by kendahke 1
Els Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 If he's been having sex with lots of strangers, I doubt he's a particularly staunch Christian, so I don't see why it would be a factor for him at all. Chances are the issues he's facing are not caused by "Christianity". Also, obviously, if that is his history, the "church girls" won't want him. For the staunch Christians, I imagine their pool is narrower, but the ones I know don't seem to have much problem. They spend lots of their time in church, going to events with lots of other people around, doing missionary work, etc, so they tend to meet people of the opposite sex that way.
Simmons Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 Is it harder to date as a Christian? It depends on your denomination's beliefs? There are hundreds of denominations and some are more conservative and some are more liberal in their beliefs. So it all depends.
Poutrew Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 I can understand the reason why he is having so much trouble with the church girls. They have lived a life of pious purity, having never done anything with anyone... while he was out fornicating with the heathens. The saying to not cast your pearls before swine comes to mind... from the point of view of a church girl who has really led a virtuous life, someone who is a true virgin not just a technical one, she will be thinking to herself why should she take a chance on a sinner when there are so many pious, virginal, church boys to choose from? He truly has a tough row to hoe... 1
amaysngrace Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 It's good that he's selective because then he won't have to deal with differences in beliefs later on, especially since his faith is important to him.
Lotsgoingon Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 The answer is no ... no harder than wanting to date someone with some other particular characteristic or quality. Tell your friend to read the books and find the youtube videos of two amazing Christian counselors, who deal with this very subject: Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud. Their answer, like mine is a heck no, it ain't harder to date if you're a Christian. But the great thing about them is they are amazing relationship counselors--period. They have written excellent books on boundaries in relationship. Tell your friend to find and read Henry Cloud's book, How To Get A Date Worth Keeping. Amazing ... Taught me so much I didn't know about the basics of relationship and the basics of dating and the point of dating ... which is, in Cloud's view, as much about learning about yourself, building confidence, learning social skills, growing and maturing ... as it is about finding "a partner."
Simmons Posted July 24, 2018 Posted July 24, 2018 Is theology his favorite subject to talk about? If so then it wouldn't be enough just to date another Christian but to date one who is passionate about theology. That's no different than guys who have a passion to talk about sports all the time. Most American men love sports so they would do well with a woman who enjoys watching the games with them.
coolheadal Posted July 25, 2018 Posted July 25, 2018 My friend gets frustrated because he has narrowed his pool to church girls but hasn't had much luck. He quit clubbing and having sex with strangers. Church girls are not different than those outside church the only thing is they believe in the holy spirit as a Christian. I dated two of those type of girls same results always. Luck or not if he can get one interested in him sure other than that what else is new.
mortensorchid Posted July 25, 2018 Posted July 25, 2018 I have had bad experiences with so calleds, but then again if you are right for one another you are right for one another. And if you're not then you're ... Not. That's just one factor you have to consider with people.
BaileyB Posted July 25, 2018 Posted July 25, 2018 Any time you narrow your dating pool, for whatever he reason, it's harder to date. There is nothing special about being Christian... different than being Jewish, or wanting a girl who likes sports, or a man who is a professional, or someone who lives nearby, etc...
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