I got promoted and my coworker has been upset with me ever since, why? Am I just para

[missingu]

So a bit of information.

 

I used to get on with a much older woman at work. To the point we got eachother lunch, she told me personal things about her unhappy marriage, it was like a friendship.

 

Some changes started happening at work. Because I'm younger the older women, including her expect me to do their share of the work.

 

I was until one day I decided enough was enough and I refused. I am a hard worker, I put in, but I'm one of the very few. She always likes telling workers what to do even though she's not the boss. I started to please myself and it didn't go down very well with her and the other women.

 

The part that gets tricky is I was promoted above her. I didn't ask for it, wasn't really even interested but my partner told me to take it for the experience and extra money and I agreed.

 

One day the coworker was complaining to me about another coworker and she was monitoring her breaks and telling me about it. I more or less questioned the coworker on why she was worried about what others were doing? Ever since she has been turning people against me. I see them having little group chats on the floor when they are supposed to be working.

 

I have put it down to jealousy. When I was made boss but nobody knew about it yet, she told me that she wishes she was the boss.

She was offered the promotion before me, did not want it and now seems upset that I have more say than her.

 

I don't know how to play this. I try ignoring her bad behaviour most of the time, but I'm sick of it. What should I do?

[Mr. Lucky]

I try ignoring her bad behaviour most of the time,

 

That's the issue right there. Whatever behaviors you allow the lowest performing employee to get away with become the standard for the department. So ignoring her just entitles her to act out further.

 

I'd sit down with her and deal with the problem head on. If you're indeed the 'boss", time to start communicating like one...

 

Mr. Lucky

[missingu]

So I have this same worker going around telling casuals the rules and what to do. And questioning my decisions regarding breaks and what I decide.

 

She is overstepping big time. I might mention I am younger than her so she doesn't respect my authority. She is manipulative.

[Lotsgoingon]

Talk to your boss about this ... the person who promoted you ...

 

Just so you know, this happens every day in workplaces ... Every day ... at every level ... People work together ... one gets promoted ... Everyone has to adjust ... So clear out your mind that this is some unique thing.

 

So there's no need to hide this ... in fact, in the worse cases of dysfunctional resentment, it's partly YOUR supervisor's job to make clear to those below you that if they mess with you, there will be consequences ... So talk to your supervisor ... also talk to anyone who manages people.

 

For your supervisor, you don't need to say, "they all hate me and are undermining me." Rather, go with ... "I need some suggestions on an issue. I'm feeling like there is resentment that I got promoted and I don't want this to interfere with the work."

 

By the way, google this one .... you'll find tons of good articles.

 

Here's an article to get you started ... it even includes scripted conversations.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2015/02/19/you-got-promoted-to-manager-and-a-coworker-is-mad-heres-what-to-say/#109c22ed66d2

[missingu]

I did talk to my bosses and they are always telling me I'm doing a great job and to keep it up. I am a people person, maybe it works against me in this as I am too nice sometimes so I feel the need to be direct, not nasty, just direct and then I get complaints about how direct I am by this one member of staff. All I know is I am simply asking them politely to do their job and I expect everyone on the team to put in an honest days work.

 

I'll do anything that needs to be done, but no matter what I do, this member of staff goes around telling everyone that I do nothing all day, which couldn't be further from the truth.

 

My boss says he sees how negative this member of staff is and he's working on getting her moved. She has an effect on those around her that are too naive to see how manipulative she is.

 

Sorry I just needed to vent. I can't vent at work to anyone except my boss and as we all know, work isn't a place where you can trust many people