hohoit Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 So this is probably dumb but my bf went fishing with his friend today and made a Snapchat story of them captioned “Saturday’s for the boys” It’s not like i asked him to hangout and he said no and hungout with his friend instead. I have been at work all morning. Still kind of annoyed at the caption Opinions?
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 Unless you're leaving out a lot of details, you're completely over-thinking this. It's a light-hearted caption; why do you think this is a shot at you? 1
Author hohoit Posted July 21, 2018 Author Posted July 21, 2018 I think I’m mostly annoyed because he rarely posts about me. He’s posted about me like twice on social media. Granted I’ve never posted about him on mine. But still just seems rude to say when you have a gf. Idk maybe I’m being dramatic
hippychick3 Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 Definitely a silly thing to get worked up about. Go out with your girlfriend for a GNO and make your own caption. 1
act00 Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 Do you get this uptight about "Taco Tuesday" as well, like OMG, we have to have tacos because it's Tuesday, but I'd rather do Subway? The guy went out with some buddies and posted and captioned a picture. It's no different than "girls' night" or "hen party," or "Burger Monday" or whatever have you. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. If a boys' day is causing this much anxiety, you need to have a good, hard look at your relationship with this guy as a whole...and yourself and your baggage...unless he ditches you constantly and blows you off repeatedly for "other things" and "for the boys," it's just a fun quip, and you are being completely unreasonable. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 Hate to be repetitive here (because I do remember your other threads), I will say it again though: your insecurity needs to be dealt with (not through winning the approval of your partner), on your own and with professional help--otherwise it is a bottomless pit...so completely evidenced by your latest thread here. Mountain out of mole hill. That's what you are doing rooted from a deep case of insecurity. 1
Author hohoit Posted July 21, 2018 Author Posted July 21, 2018 Hate to be repetitive here (because I do remember your other threads), I will say it again though: your insecurity needs to be dealt with (not through winning the approval of your partner), on your own and with professional help--otherwise it is a bottomless pit...so completely evidenced by your latest thread here. Mountain out of mole hill. That's what you are doing rooted from a deep case of insecurity. I’m very aware of my insecurities and i know that i have some anxiety issues. Only problem is i work 6 days out of the week. Full time. By the time i get off, the therapist i use is already closed and they’re not open on weekends. I’ve found it very hard to get help with my schedule and classes are about to start up again. I need other ways to help besides therapy, at the moment.
Versacehottie Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 I’m very aware of my insecurities and i know that i have some anxiety issues. Only problem is i work 6 days out of the week. Full time. By the time i get off, the therapist i use is already closed and they’re not open on weekends. I’ve found it very hard to get help with my schedule and classes are about to start up again. I need other ways to help besides therapy, at the moment. I had suggested just even getting a book. You need to give yourself the worth you are searching for with reassurance and dissecting your partners (or other people's) every move as a reflection of what they think about you and who you are. The simple act of "solving a problem" such as "I work 6 days a week & have no time for the therapist" and taking action helps build a feeling inside of you that you are capable and can determine some ways to deal with the things that come at you in life. And hopefully you will be able to build on it. I think you will. You have to attempt and look for alternatives to solving your problem. Another idea would be to find another therapist that has hours you can work with (even if it's temporary). I'm going to even say there are apps for mental health that give you tasks that will be of help. You need to put the focus back on yourself, not in a needy, reassuring way but in the way that you put yourself first and take responsibility for making yourself feel better (not looking to others to make you feel better). Even a self-help book can be motivating and give you helpful exercises that can bridge low periods. Plus you need to practice rather than just spill your guts with a therapist so exercises are helpful to put into your day-to-day life. Another thing i think is helpful is to SCHEDULE your life. I think a lot of people in your situation almost have too much time on their hands. Bare with me--not saying that because obviously you work 6 days a week. But perhaps it isn't your ideal job or one that points you toward your career goals. Basically you need to schedule your week so that it mirrors where you want your life to go. I'm going to guess that right now, you do a job that means very little to you or is just a money-making gig, so you think about your bf and whatever he is doing and why he's not making his life more about you all day and then also in your free hours. You need to point yourself in the direction you want to go and schedule yourself and make mini-goals to take you there so that you don't depend on another to give you purpose and fill your life. Make sense?
carhill Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 what's Snapchat? Social media So, OP, did they catch any fish?
Poutrew Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 So this is probably dumb but my bf went fishing with his friend today and made a Snapchat story of them captioned “Saturday’s for the boys” It’s not like i asked him to hangout and he said no and hungout with his friend instead. I have been at work all morning. Still kind of annoyed at the caption Opinions? Well, if you are super annoyed by it, you can always take a pic of yourself wearing a string bikini, sitting by the pool side with some hunky guys rubbing sun tan lotion all over you ...and you can title it "When the boys'r away, the girls do play..." 1
OatsAndHall Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 I'm going to be blunt here; these are the small non-issues that come up in some relationships that kill them. In fact, these kinds of things have caused me to cut ties with women on a consistent basis since I started dating. I spend most Fridays fishing on a boat with a friend of mine. I explained this to a girl I was dating, along with the fact that I don't take my phone on the boat with me. I don't want to replace another it if we have a mishap.. I also explained to her that we needed to make plans for Friday night ahead of time as it's not uncommon for us to be out on the boat for twelve straight hours if we're having a good day. I asked her one Thursday if she wanted to hang out on Friday night. She told me that she didn't know as she might be spending it out with her sister. I asked her to let me know by 9am the next day as that is when I'd planned on hitting the lake with my friend. She told me she'd talk to her sister and let me know. That time rolled around, I hadn't heard from her so I headed out fishing. I left my phone in the pick up, got back to it at 6pm that evening and had a half dozen texts from her, all asking if we were going to hang out as her sister had canceled on her. I was getting ready to text her back and ask her if she wanted to meet up for dinner and, before I could fire it off, I got an angry text from her claiming I "stood her up". I called her once I got home and calmly explained to her that I hadn't had confirmation of any plans so I spent the day on the boat. She stated that I either should have gotten off of the lake sooner or taken my phone with me. I told her, once again, that I NEVER take my phone with me on the lake and that I would gladly have cut my time short if we had a date planned but we didn't. She demanded an apology and stated that I was "marginalizing her feelings". I told her I was done with the conversation and broke it off with her the next day. 1
MajesticUnicorn Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 It’s a phrase used on Barstool Sports and infiltrates guy’s social media captions all the time. I would say there may be some bigger issues going on if a silly caption is now making you distrust and doubt your bf. 1
basil67 Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 I’m very aware of my insecurities and i know that i have some anxiety issues. Only problem is i work 6 days out of the week. Full time. By the time i get off, the therapist i use is already closed and they’re not open on weekends. I’ve found it very hard to get help with my schedule and classes are about to start up again. I need other ways to help besides therapy, at the moment. If you needed treatment for a serious physical illness, would you be able to make time for that? It's just that mental health issues need to be treated with the same degree of commitment that physical illnesses do. 1
Gretchen12 Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 I don't really get it. My guess is that this isn't even a relationship issue. You are unhappy because you have to work so much, and it annoys you to see others having fun on a Saturday. But the only person you can pick on is your bf. 2
mortensorchid Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 Let guys have their guy time. Girls also like having certain girl time. It's all about balance and moderation. And good communication. And you're making too much of it that he doesn't put you on his social media.
BaileyB Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 I think I’m mostly annoyed because he rarely posts about me. He’s posted about me like twice on social media. Granted I’ve never posted about him on mine. But still just seems rude to say when you have a gf. Idk maybe I’m being dramatic You are being dramatic.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 (edited) Yes, OP, you are being over-dramatic. You need to get a grip on that. You're also being hypocritical if you've never posted a thing about him on your social media and you're upset that he hasn't posted enough about you. He's done more than you, evidently. This is not a good approach to a relationship. Edited July 22, 2018 by ExpatInItaly 1
TheFinalWord Posted July 22, 2018 Posted July 22, 2018 He should have typed "bros before ho&s" Sorry OP, I couldn't resist. I think you are over-analyzing. You also never post about him, so maybe he thinks you don't want him to post about things you are doing. But overall you should want him to spend time with his friends. I'm sure you have hobbies that he doesn't really want to do, so you do them with your friends. You might also take an interest in his hobby and ask if you can go sometime and if he would teach you. One thing I always try to do when I am dating someone is take an interest in their hobbies. Even if it's not my thing, I will try to learn more about it and the hobby, because their interest in that hobby is a part of their personality and tells you a lot about what they like to do to have fun and be happy. It's also a way to learn more about the world and hey, maybe you would never do it on your own, but once you do it with someone you're dating, you might find you like it too! I've had that happen a few times.
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