Striver Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 I was set up by my ex sister in law with someone. Took several months, but the woman texted me, asked to get together. I don't want to spend a lot of time texting etc as many don't. Prefer just to meet. We have a weeknight date to meet up. She cancels an hour and a half before, says something came up. We reschedule for the next Monday. Three hours before, again cancels, said she is still sick from the weekend. Apologizes, says this is very atypical (yeah, sure.) I say sure, let's try again on Sunday. Saturday night she sends multiple texts trying for Sunday night. Sunday morning I say sure. Sunday night she texts back, half an hour before, that she can do Monday night or Tuesday instead. I do not respond. Sends me something yesterday again saying she's free on Sunday. I'm busy on Sunday anyway. Again I am ignoring her. I am trying to figure out why she is doing this. My best ideas: 1) She has not been dating and is super scared of it 2) Fitness testing the man she has never met 3) She always triple books herself and I am never important enough 4) Trying to create perception of value through scarcity I am just trying to figure out why she would do this. She's in her late 40s. I known women are women until they go to the grave. Just trying to figure out why she is doing this. Why someone would cancel three times without ever meeting and figure I am game to be cancelled on yet again.
mortensorchid Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 She's not that interested to begin with. Someone who is makes the time for you. Move on.
Author Striver Posted July 21, 2018 Author Posted July 21, 2018 She's not that interested to begin with. Someone who is makes the time for you. Move on. I get that. But we have never met. I am just some guy. If she's not interested, why even bother? She is into some other guy who is denying her something? She's just into the cancelling for the drama? I am just curious, obviously she's jerking me around for whatever reason. Just for my future knowledge.
Lotsgoingon Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 She simply may not feel up to dating right now. Could be her life is messy, could have sick parents ... job could be stressful ... could be multiple reasons. There are lots of times when technically I was wanting to go meet people, and I tried to hide the depression from friends and yes, even family. But when it got down to it, I wasn't ready to really date and I would back out of meetings like this ... for me, depression was the problem. I was always recovering from a depression or fighting off a depression. So you don't really need to think about this question too hard. Just know, she's not available--and let go and move on.
damni Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 I get that. But we have never met. I am just some guy. If she's not interested, why even bother? She is into some other guy who is denying her something? She's just into the cancelling for the drama? I am just curious, obviously she's jerking me around for whatever reason. Just for my future knowledge. You are way overthinking this! You haven't even met so who cares? This is the dating game and fairly common. Next time, if a woman cancels....give her one shot then drop her
basil67 Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 My best guess is anxiety. Instead of ignoring her messages, just give a polite reply that it's been too difficult to meet with her and you wish her well in her future endeavours. THEN stop replying. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21, 2018 Posted July 21, 2018 My best guess is anxiety. Instead of ignoring her messages, just give a polite reply that it's been too difficult to meet with her and you wish her well in her future endeavours. THEN stop replying. This. If it's this hard to get to the first date, don't bother. Tell her it's not going to work, and move along. 1
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