picklerick123 Posted July 20, 2018 Posted July 20, 2018 I need help bad. This is about the relationship I had what happened after and what is happening now. I need someones help because this has derailed me and really messed me up. I also want to fix or talk to her again if its possible. This is long btw I was dating a girl for 4 months we were both 20 yrs old and both were each others first relationship. We have both been through similar and tough things in our lives and had a lot in common despite how different we were. Both of us went to winter sports academy's for ski racing from grd 9 to 12 and took a gap year at the same academy. We started dating during the gap year on my birthday and talked for about 2 weeks before that. This established a deep connection with her because of skiing and other things. Within the time of us dating we would travel else were to different competitions. We texted and face timed everyday. We supported each other and would call to say good luck and I love you. I would always help her out and give her tips and mentally sooth her from performance anxiety and stress. She also did this for me. We would stay at each others houses all the time. We would go out to party's together and took care of whoever was more wasted. There was one party in particular she drank way to much and was super embarrassed that she was like that in front of me. But I told her its ok I love you no matter what. And that made her so happy. When ever we saw each other we would always cuddle kiss and do fun things and wrestle a lot. We were madly in love and we actually lived 30 minutes apart and would drive that far just to see each other during the winter training block. Everything was amazing despite not seeing each other some times we both were super happy. She helped get through a lot of things and problems that most people would not do. She also watched me suffer from an injury that I had and made me a suborn tough guy look weak and crippled she helped me through that. Flash ahead I didn't see her for about a week and a half. I could have stayed with her for a week at a competition but couldn't because my dad threatened me from leaving and doing anything that week. I was so upset about this and so was she. We both really wanted to do that. And I feel that might have been the slow start to what happened. She came back from the competition a few days later and I went to her house. I stayed the night and we were talking so much and were so happy to get to see each other. I was driving so fast to get to her house when she got back. We talked for hours and i Held her tighter than ever. I told her you are my baby girl I love you to the moon and back and she started to cry she was so happy and was saying I love you to B. During this week We really said we want to be together for a while and that no one has ever made each of us feel this way and how we both make each other the happiest person ever. And we want to make things work in college. This was a very powerful moment and made me feel a weird feeling inside. I told her you give me a warm tingly feeling inside and she said good. The night/day I last saw her everything was great until a weird moment were she wouldn't kiss me. The next morning She didn't want to mess around I thought she wasn't feeling good or something so I stopped messing around. That day I had to go to a recruiting office at a D1 college for skiing. I left I told he I love her she said it back. I got to the door ran back gave her a big kiss then said love you baby girl she made the biggest smile and said good luck kill it. I Smiled and said lets gooo. We texted during it and she asked how it is going I said its ok. she asked me when I will be back I said soon. I left went back to the academy to stretch and hang with some buds. She txted me come here now and I thought she was hurt or needed something so I said ok coming now. I booked it over there and we pulled in at the same time he closed the door to the house on me I thought she was messing around but wasn't. She was acting really weird. Then I sit on the couch and waited for her to come sit with me. Then I got the we need to talk. she sat in the seat across from me and said I don't think long distance is going to work I don't want to mess up and hurt you I want to be able to see you. Then she gave me something special I gave to her that has deep meaning to me. I started to cry and got my stuff she hugged me and started crying as well and said you are making this so hard. I texted her that night asking how you dealing with this she said its emotional. She said she need time to think. And we can talk in a few days. I wrote her a letter on her door telling her what she meant to me and about how I care about her and saying thanks for all the fun times. A few day latter went past I was a wreck and posted stuff on snap making me look sad. I eventually called her gave her 7 days and it was like a normal conversation with her then I went off saying i want a second chance and in a way begged and pleaded. she let me talk for 30 minutes. And a few words made her miss me that I said I will always be there for you and she said I know and I could hear she was sad. I gave her another week called again idk why id did and she said why are you calling me and I said idk. then she hung-up and texted me I need space we kind of argued and I went off a bit. I never told her anything bad or said anything to hurt her. I was still a wreck and was posting a lot on Instagram to get her to miss me or posting stupid stuff on snap chat. I really let my emotions get me. I did and said some things to my friends that were somewhat stupid but my intentions were no harm. eventually another week went by and my mom was so fed up about me being sad and a wreck. She called my ex and said I miss her and very nice things. that day I got back a really nice txt from her saying I understand how you feel im sorry for being distant but this how im able to get over you and move on. And she said she is proud of what I am doing. And she looks forward to hear about it in the future. but right now she needs space. With the help form my mom we sent a really nice txt back saying I understand and said very good and nice things and told her I am always here if you need me. I felt really good and positive because of this and the pain was just about gone. Or was at least hidden Then 2 days later I posted a pic of me and my mom on Instagram saying lets gooo. She liked it and I was like wow good were on good terms now. Then 5 hours later she unliked it and unfollowed me. About a week before she unfriended me on snap but never blocked me on anything. The same day this happened her mom called my mom saying im a nice guy and stuff and had a lot of good things to say. And I got a nasty text from my ex and that's what crushed me when I thought it was all over. She said first off we are never getting back together no matter what I tried and tried to be nice but holy $$%# I have had enough we dated for a short amount of time and. no matter what we are not happening again. If you show up at my house u will not be let in if you show up at my college i will file a restraining order against you I tried to be friends with you but you completely ruined that. I will ask you one more time please leave me the #$%& alone. I never said anything back and have not talked to her for bout 3 to 4 months now. I am still a little bit of a wreck but I got a good job I got in super good shape and have been talking to other girls. But I dont like any of these other girls I haven't had a good connection with them and I still miss her. I am currently in contact with my exs mom and she is super nice and talks to me and helps me a lot. My ex is stubborn but has a heart of gold. I did go a bit crazy but a lot of bad stuff was happening at the time we broke up. I have read a million ex back books and they all dont help me with my problem. I have been working on myself and I am better in many ways but cant get get over this. I am still super hung up and in a lot of pain. I think I am mad at what I did. But just know I never did anything to hurt her mean stuff or name calling. This girl means the world to me What do I do what can I do and is there any chance in getting this girl back. How do I reconnect when should I How do I do this. And would going to school near or the same school be bad. Help me out the best you can. Thanks
ExpatInItaly Posted July 20, 2018 Posted July 20, 2018 I am sorry you're hurting so much, OP. First break-ups are tough because you have no prior experience to draw on. Unfortunately, you need to let go. She was crystal clear that she doesn't want to hear from you. For that reason, you must also stop talking to her mom. It's not appropriate, especially when your ex so strongly told you to back off. Those were the words of one frustrated and annoyed girl. I understand that you didn't try to hurt her, but it's also very agitating when you continuously ask someone for space and they continuously ignore that. You cannot reconnect unless she initiates that. And it's true, she might not. A lot happened after the break-up that turned her off so it's unlikely she's going to reconsider. Going to a school near here would be a terrible idea, if your goal in doing so is just to make contact with her. It's hard, but first relationships are almost never our last. You can learn from this one. 1
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