Lonely Soul Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 Hey, I'm new here and I have a big problem... Well, I'm 18 and I haven't had a proper boyfriend before. Last weekend I met a guy at a night club and it turns out that he's 28 (that's 10 years difference between the two of us for those who can't work it out). He seems to really like me but I'm so unsure of what I should do. I haven't met up with him since last weekend, but he wanted to go out last night with him (I chickened out and said I was busy - which I truly was, but I must admit I'm glad I had an excuse). One of my friends thinks that I should meet up with him again. Another problem is that this guy has the same name as my dad! .. A little strange. Plus, I'm a shy girl which doesn't help in this situation AT ALL! He did seem like a genuinely nice guy (not sleezy like the others at the club), so I'm pretty lost about the whole thing and how to handle it. So, is he too old for me? What should I do?
AmberAriesMom Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 He's too old for you. I'm not saying 10 years difference is always a bad thing, but if you're 18 the experience level between you two is a major concern. There is a reason why older men go after women under 21.
LonelySoul Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 Hey We Have The Same Name!!!! That's Not Suppose To Happen!!!
Nostalgic Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 I agree w/ Amber. You're 18--so Im assuming you're either still in or just graduated from High School. Experience-wise, you are a world apart from this guy--and vice versa. The 10 year difference by itself is not the problem. But when it's between a teenager and someone who has been out in "the real world" for quite some time, it's huge. It'd be different if you were 28 and 38, for example. He might be a nice guy but if you're having doubts about it, follow your intuition. You're bound to meet plenty of nice guys (ok, and a few jerky ones too ) --in College.
Nostalgic Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 Hey We Have The Same Name!!!! That's Not Suppose To Happen!!! It's fate--now you two can unite
Cupcake Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 He isn't too old for you. But the age difference will pose a lot of issues to be resolved. For instsance, he probably has more experience to you with relationships. You may be extremely mature, more so than many other people in your age group. However, you still need to experience life and relationships more before jumping into something serious with a man who may on a different level in life than you are. I say date this man. But don't allow the relationship to become too possesive or controlling. He may be at a point where he is ready to settle down at get married, or something like that. That would be very unfair for you, even if you fall in love with him. On the other hand, if he isn't ready to settle down and turns out to be more immature than most men in his age group, beware that his immature behavior could cause problelms in the long run. For instance, I hope he's not one of those men who only date younger women because he wants to mold and manipulate them into being whatever he wants. Just take things slow. Enjoy the relationship.
Dean3922 Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 I don't think he is to old for you if you are mature for your age. If you like him then see where it leads. He probably has alot more experience in the sex dept. so if that interests you he could be a good thing. You do not have to marry him so just have fun and don't let your feeling go over the top.
Author Lonely Soul Posted September 3, 2005 Author Posted September 3, 2005 Thanks for the advice everyone, it's really helped. I would have never thought I'd go for an older guy but he was the nicest one I met last weekend and wasn't trying to rush everything like the other guys were.
Author Lonely Soul Posted September 3, 2005 Author Posted September 3, 2005 Hey We Have The Same Name!!!! That's Not Suppose To Happen!!! Wow, sorry... I didn't realise someone else had this name. I got my name from one of my favourite songs ('Lonely Soul' of course).
kitkat826 Posted September 3, 2005 Posted September 3, 2005 He's too old for you. On top of that, you have only known him for a week. The issue of his age may very well become pointless once you get to really know him.
Author Lonely Soul Posted September 5, 2005 Author Posted September 5, 2005 Hmm... Well I've decided to meet up with him this week. I guess if it doesn't work out I can always get away from it all.
bluechocolate Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 Some of the difficulties you'll encounter with two people at disparate stages in their life have already been mentioned, but they can of course be overcome. I don't think that your age difference has to be a deciding factor but you should both understand that it will throw up complications and for a lot people those complications prove to be insurmountable. The thing I would be most concerned about right now is the guy - what is his dating/girlfriend history? If it is the case that he has always gone for women younger than himself then that should make you very wary. Until you can find out more about him I would recommend that you exercise restraint, keep things light & breezy in case you feel the need to make a quick exit.
RecordProducer Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 I don't think he is too old for you. Maybe he is less mature than his generation or you're more mature than yours. Or you like older guys and he likes younger girls. I am 30 and my BF is 48. I am madly in love with him and we get along great. I admire his wisdom and maturity. My ex-husband was 12 years older than me. My first BF was 22 when I was 16 and we stayed together for 6 years. I fell in love for teh first time when I was 13. He was 22. We didn't have sex, we only kissed and spent 6 days together, but I was in love with him for the next 6 months. It's a matter of preference in my opinion. I love older guys.
Outcast Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 Hey We Have The Same Name!!!! That's Not Suppose To Happen!!! You don't. The OP has a space between Lonely and Soul and you don't.
jdubinva Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 A 28 year old guy would most likely be looking for something more than an 18 y/0 girl, i.e. a wife, family.... If I were you I'd just enjoy this time with those that you share common goals/interests with. ----------------------------
fundamental Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 For the most part, age matters! You might be too young for him.
Beachgrl486 Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 When I was 18 I dated a 28 year old. We dated for over a year. I loved him very much. He taught me soo much. I grew up quick. I can tell you one thing though. i do not know if i liked it. We broke up and every guy my age seemed soo immature to me. I do not think it was worth it. It was something I could not help. It is totally up to you. I would think about it a little though.
Cupcake Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Origianlly posted by Bluechocolate The thing I would be most concerned about right now is the guy - what is his dating/girlfriend history? If it is the case that he has always gone for women younger than himself then that should make you very wary. This is extremly important. I once dated a man who was only into younger women. I thought it was cool because at the time, I met his standard since I was young. The problem was, after we dated for about 2 1/2 years, I was older. And he moved on to someone younger. When we met, I was 20 and he was 29.
Author Lonely Soul Posted September 6, 2005 Author Posted September 6, 2005 I do see what you all mean though. However, he actually thought I was older than I am (and I am more mature than most people my age). I guess I'll just see how this one date goes and if it's bad I don't have to continue with anything further. Everyone... wish me luck (please!) This will be my first date!
Chimerical Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 When old (much older) men date young girls. Gives me the heeby-jeebies. Like being 13 and dating a 20+ year old. What could you possibly have in common? BE CAREFUL. That's all I gotta say. Check his name out on that criminal search they have on the web. Check up on what he's telling you. Verify everything you can. And protect yourself. ie. let someone know where you are going, and who the guy is (name). And have someone you can call at a moments notice in case you need a ride, or help in anyway. Just be smart about it, and do whatever you have to to ensure you are safe.
simplybrill Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 I dunno, I've got a guy who's 28 who's interested in me, and Im 21. I call him "Mister.28" So that means when im 30, he'll be 38. Even if we don't make it that far, I think because he's so much older than me, he may be looking for someone to marry. I say be friends, but like my family told me, when I told them about this "Mister.28" they said absolutely not, he's too old, I think you guys should just be friends. I know, there's this part of me that's gnawing to just date him for the hell of it, but after a while, I think the age would get to me, so I say, be friends-and that will tell you whether or not he's just trying to get with you for obvious reasons. If he's totally against just being friends, and seems really despserate to start a relationship (physical or otherwise) then I would take a step back and look at things. He may be, in fact desperate. Im sure you're a fabulous catch. But some guys roam the clubs looking for young, shy girls. Just keep your eyes open, and keep us posted.
Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Check his name out on that criminal search they have on the web. Now that shows your a trusting woman . Automatically go to the guy has to be a criminal because he is older.. WTF ?
Nostalgic Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Everyone... wish me luck (please!) This will be my first date! Your first date, ever? Or just with this guy? If this is your first ever official date...yeah, def. be careful sweetie. Who knows, it may work out I guess...but keep us posted
Nubemeister Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Now that shows your a trusting woman . Automatically go to the guy has to be a criminal because he is older.. WTF ? That's great....man
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