Me and my girlfriend , financial & emotional situations around her job

[d0nnivain]

She doesn't care about the stuff. It's value is less than what she owes you. She's happy to let you keep it. If you play hardball with this woman don't think she won't lie to the cops & claim you abused her or something if she gets really angry. You are in a no win situation here.

[ExpatInItaly]

We'll see, she's still got a heap of stuff at my place, and she won't be getting it until she gives me the $.

 

She's earning that much, I've seen her the past couple of weeks with loads and loads of hundred dollar bills.

 

Earns $500 a night easily, and spread that across 4-5 nights a week and it comes out at $2,500 a week easily.

 

All massage/brothels are cash-in-hand and pay little to no tax. I'm not sure what benefit or added drama I'd be getting myself in for there too.

 

So what the heck did she need extra money from you for?

 

It doesn't add up, OP. Either she's been lying to you about how much she was previously making, or she's lying about how she's making that much and where the money is going once the cash is handed to her.

 

My guess is that there is a lot you still don't know about what this woman does for money. At the risk of sounding alarmist, I would strongly recommend you get yourself tested for STIs/HIV, my friend.

 

And if she's that well-off, she isn't going to be sad to walk away from all the things she has left at your house. She can just replace it.

[kendahke]

It's very tempting to make an anonymous call to the Immigration/tax department but I can't be bothered and it seems vindictive which isn't in my personality.

 

Hmph... I'd do it if she hems and haws about repaying me. Then I'd dump her stuff at the curb so she can come fetch it before it gets picked through.

[ConfusedSituation]

She doesn't care about the stuff. It's value is less than what she owes you. She's happy to let you keep it. If you play hardball with this woman don't think she won't lie to the cops & claim you abused her or something if she gets really angry. You are in a no win situation here.

 

You're probably right there, nothing of real value she has left except some jewelry. It's a real pain that I'm still surrounded by so much of her **** (in my 1 bed apartment) with no indication of when she is going to collect it.

 

So what the heck did she need extra money from you for?

 

At the start of our relationship, she wasn't working so had no income at all. So I decided to help her out financially. Wrongly of me to do, and it won't happen again that's for sure.

 

My guess is that there is a lot you still don't know about what this woman does for money. At the risk of sounding alarmist, I would strongly recommend you get yourself tested for STIs/HIV, my friend.

 

Yes I believe you're quite right, and you're probably right there too. Thanks for the advice.

 

Hmph... I'd do it if she hems and haws about repaying me. Then I'd dump her stuff at the curb so she can come fetch it before it gets picked through.

 

That was along the lines of what I was thinking too if she doesn't pay me back. Especially with her saying how easy it is to make that sort of money and acting as though $8k is nothing. Some people...

 

Is this petty and mean spirited though? I'm a big believer in karma and I wonder whether that's a step too far that would potentially see her kicked out of the country.

[ConfusedSituation]

Thought I'd update this thread on how this event actually finished up.

 

I let her pick up her stuff shortly after that last post just to be rid of it from my apartment. A couple of weeks ago she paid me back the $8k. Never really expected it, but a nice surprise, and a valuable lesson learnt for any future relationship I get into.

 

As far as I'm concerned now, I don't care about her Visa status which has nothing to do with me. If she ends up getting Permanent Residency through this way, then good luck to her.

 

Thanks for all the advice through the thread.

[Lotsgoingon]

Thanks for the update ... glad you got the $8k back.

[Calmandfocused]

Op, I’m female and stutter. Have done all my life. I’m also of the same age as you.

 

The fact that you stutter is irrelevant and should not make you “grateful” for any female attention that comes your way. It’s got 0 relevance to your worth as an individual. You need to start learning this and not let it set you back.

 

For your information I’m sociable, have a successful career and I always speak my mind/ assert my boundaries where required. To hell with my my stammer. I always say that if someone laughs or otherwise has an issue with it, it says more about them than it does me.

 

In the past when I’ve done OLD I’ve simply informed the person that I stutter before speaking on the phone. That’s it and no one has ever rejected me because of this (I was rejected loads when I used to smoke however)

 

Be confident in who you are. The stammer is irrelevant. It’s your anxiety/ lack of confidence in relation to your stammer that is the issue.

 

You already know what to do in relation to your girlfriend. The writing is on the wall.