JS17 Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 Sometimes I don't want to be the responsible compassionate smart cool girl that is everybody's rock and takes care of everyone else and has a great job and owns a home at such a young age and is striving for a career to save the world. Sometimes I just want to be loved. Sometimes I wish I was simple and lead a simple life. Some days it's hard to just be. I feel awful with such terrible things going on in the world every day being so self absorbed but when is it going to be time for me to have a full life. I've always been successful in everything I've ever done besides love. When will it be my turn?
Merin Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 You will be successful in Love too Whatever that is... JK JK JK! I feel you on this, I really do. I have never been good at relationships, I'm in one now and for real, I never know what the hell I'm doing, LOL but I'm really trying. I am the person my friends come to with problems, my sister too and sometimes my parents... I have 2 Little Peeps I have to make sure are good to go and happy... I sometimes wonder when or IF I will ever be able to just "Be" BUT I suspect you will find someone amazing and have success in that, hang in there.
Jayhawks Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 Here's a huge HUG JS. :bunny: It's the best I can do.
Author JS17 Posted September 2, 2005 Author Posted September 2, 2005 Thanks guys, you're two of my favs here I don't really know why I posted. My last two grandparents are both very ill and my parents are both stressed to the hilt with taking care of their respective parents and dealing with their imminent loss. I love my sister, she's a great person but she's a little flighty...she's an artsy type person which is wonderful but it just means that everything is landing on my shoulders. Some of my friends are having relationship problems and they come to me for help. I got out of a horrible relationship in the beginning of the year and talked all of their ears off so I feel like I owe them and need to be there for them and I do want to be there for them. I feel awful being so selfish in spending so much time thinking about not having love in my life but I do think about it and wonder why they can all have it but I don't. I'm almost 28 and I feel like my time for having a family is dwindling and it's really hard to accept that it might not ever happen for me. I think this is the only place I can talk about it without feeling guilty for being so selfish. So thanks for letting me vent
quankanne Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 I think this is the only place I can talk about it without feeling guilty for being so selfish. you're not Catholic by any chance, are you? ;O) I wonder if the guilt doesn't come from an innate sense of trying to be "good" all the time, not wanting to be the one who is hurtful or inconsiderate so much so that you tend to overdo the kind and considerate side and then you feel guilty when you're plagued by what are really just honest-to-goodness normal feelings? sometimes it's good to let yourself wallow in self-pity or hurt or just plain old grouchy feelings so you can let them go and get on with your business, you know? don't feel guilty about questioning certain areas of your life because you're entitled. just remember that you are capable of doing only so much in a situation if there are others involved (your sister, your folks, your yet-to-be-met guy), they've got to meet up with you along the way in your relationships with them. so vent away, my dear -- it's healthier than letting it collect into a toxic volcano ...
FataMorgana Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 oh, JS, still having that bad day? big hugs from me as well your time will come, don't worry. Maybe all this time without it was meant to be so you can appreciate HIM better when he arrives who knows what life got planned for us, but at almost 28 you still have the best years of your life still to come !!!
Author JS17 Posted September 2, 2005 Author Posted September 2, 2005 I wonder if the guilt doesn't come from an innate sense of trying to be "good" all the time, not wanting to be the one who is hurtful or inconsiderate so much so that you tend to overdo the kind and considerate side and then you feel guilty when you're plagued by what are really just honest-to-goodness normal feelings? Heh, you're right quankanne, I've spent a lot of money for my CSW to tell me that when I could have found out here for free Thanks to everyone for your support. Much love.
Beachgrl486 Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 It is good to vent. You have helped me with my issues and made me feel much better. I keep going back to what you wrote the private message about my ex. It makes me feel soo much better. =) Vent and we are all here to make you feel better!!!
Author JS17 Posted September 2, 2005 Author Posted September 2, 2005 Glad I could help ya. Sometimes when I think about all of the crap my ex put me through I have to ask myself, "why do you want a boyfriend again?". Then the lonliness sets in and I remember. Sometimes it's just really hard to stay positive.
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