Sbla22 Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Hi all, I'm a 26 year old male who went on a second date with a 26 year old woman last night. Both dates were great - we kissed on both, lots of touching and feeling a closeness beginning to develop. We talked for ages, I'm getting all the signs she's into me. After we had a meal and cocktails last night I walked her back to her flat and we made out for a bit outside her door. She didn't invite me up though.- just said goodnight and told me to let her know when I got home safely. I know date 2 is early for some but I kind of felt it was the right moment for physical escalation...we have a third date set for this Tuesday night and we are both off work the next day so maybe this will be a better time for her? I am moving into my own flat in a few weeks but have been back living with parents to save money so I couldn't ask her back to mine! She knows this Just wondering if this is normal that she didn't ask me up? I'm cool with it just hope she's as into me as I think
d0nnivain Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 You have encountered somebody who does not fall into bed at the drop of at hat. She is taking her time. If you are only looking for sex, she's not your girl. 2
carhill Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Two dates, cool. How long have you and she known each other? Strangers before the two dates? Unless she's proactive, I'd leave it until you have your flat set so you're on equal footing. I wouldn't angle to getting invited into her home. If you and she truly like each other and feel the sexual attraction mutually, it'll happen at some point. No rush.
coolheadal Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Hi all, I'm a 26 year old male who went on a second date with a 26 year old woman last night. Both dates were great - we kissed on both, lots of touching and feeling a closeness beginning to develop. We talked for ages, I'm getting all the signs she's into me. After we had a meal and cocktails last night I walked her back to her flat and we made out for a bit outside her door. She didn't invite me up though.- just said goodnight and told me to let her know when I got home safely. I know date 2 is early for some but I kind of felt it was the right moment for physical escalation...we have a third date set for this Tuesday night and we are both off work the next day so maybe this will be a better time for her? I am moving into my own flat in a few weeks but have been back living with parents to save money so I couldn't ask her back to mine! She knows this Just wondering if this is normal that she didn't ask me up? I'm cool with it just hope she's as into me as I think Anything you can do to avoid moving back with you parents? As for her you just met can't expect to go back to her place to sleep and have sex already? Where is your manners buddy! Chill out and play it cool. Win her heart and when she's ready to trust you can move up into the sky of love and happiness! 1
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 You had physical escalation, you kissed. Are you looking for someone to date or just a hook up? I like that girl, she takes her time to know you before dropping her clothes on the floor. We won't see her on here crying because she let a guy in on a 2nd date and he didn't call back. 5
lurker74 Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Meh. Second date is pretty fast. Not that some women aren't ready by then but still pretty fast. But OTOH, perhaps she was emotionally ready but on her period or about to poop. So many reasons it's not worth analyzing as long as you like her.
Author Sbla22 Posted July 13, 2018 Author Posted July 13, 2018 I think some of you have the wrong idea - I'm not someone who had to sleep with a woman by a certain point. I really like this woman, she makes me feel at ease despite me battling with anxiety. I just know there's a sexual vibe going on - just hope she's not waiting for me to ask her back as it could be another 3 or 4 weeks before I move into my new place.
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 I think some of you have the wrong idea - I'm not someone who had to sleep with a woman by a certain point. I really like this woman, she makes me feel at ease despite me battling with anxiety. I just know there's a sexual vibe going on - just hope she's not waiting for me to ask her back as it could be another 3 or 4 weeks before I move into my new place. What are you worrying about? You had 2 great dates, you kissed, what more do you want? This is all normal dating so far. Don't think what will happen in 3-4 weeks, you'll cross that bridge when you get there. Concentrate on your next date only! and 'no' she does not have to invite you in next time either! If it takes her 5 dates to invite you in it's still falling within the norms.
carhill Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Presuming you're not dating exclusively, it's easy to date and/or have sex with other women. Generally, over time, a clear match emerges. That presumes that sex is an overriding preference at this point. There are other places to have sex than her flat. Maybe someday I'll tell the story about the lady and the cabin in Texas
coolheadal Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 I think some of you have the wrong idea - I'm not someone who had to sleep with a woman by a certain point. I really like this woman, she makes me feel at ease despite me battling with anxiety. I just know there's a sexual vibe going on - just hope she's not waiting for me to ask her back as it could be another 3 or 4 weeks before I move into my new place. Your so impatient, the issue with you thinking should you ask her to go back with you at your place before you move in with your parents. Yet she's not doing that with you. You have to date some more and see where you two are. Can't even move in with her just too early. You just have to deal with your life right now. Keep on doing what you do with her. Don't rush it. All your thinking about sexual vibe in your head.
d0nnivain Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 3-4 weeks from now is probably a better time to start to have sex. You can christen your new place. Relax & enjoy getting to know her.
mortensorchid Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 I say that's early, but if you are just looking for a quick fix which you seem to be. She wants to take a bit more time to get to know you. So relax and see what happens on date 3.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Good grief. Maybe she has her period. Maybe she doesn't want to have sex on the second date. Maybe she lives by the "no sex before monogamy" rule. None of these are negatives about her. 3
Lotsgoingon Posted July 14, 2018 Posted July 14, 2018 You kissed on both dates and you have the followup date scheduled ... when both of you have the day off ... and you're worried about not being asked up to her room? Dude, suppose you went to her room--what then? ... Kissing does not mean you're close to sex ... So you go to her place and what: She goes to get you a beer and you sit around and talk some more? The date had run its course ... I'm concerned that you have some strange idea of how quickly people have sex. Are you looking for fwbs? ... Or are you looking for a relationship with this woman? You were under the impression that people got laid on the second date? And if they didn't something was wrong? 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted July 14, 2018 Posted July 14, 2018 You have encountered somebody who does not fall into bed at the drop of at hat. She is taking her time. If you are only looking for sex, she's not your girl. When single I did not go up to a guys place after one date nor did I invite him over. Be truthful if you just want sex, otherwise she will see you as someone who has other motives.
act00 Posted July 14, 2018 Posted July 14, 2018 No matter how badly she wants to jump your bones, she's holding off and making sure you like her for who she is as a human being, and that you enjoy being with her as a friend, as more than friends, but as a friend...long-term...not a place place to put your pecker and pump and run, never to be heard from again. We all know this is a phenomenon. I'm not accusing you of such, but she doesn't know yet. She can't read your mind or know your intentions. You're important enough to her that she wants to make sure you feel the same, and if you feel the same, you'll enjoy her company and want to keep spending time with her. The sex is just frosting. You are both into each other and have a high desire to continue moving forward...relax and enjoy...it will happen. Don't overthink things.
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