Penguin_hugs Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Hi there, I've been with my BF about 6/7 months now and he doesn't have an extensive dating history. We've chatted about it a bit out of curiosity but I'm not one to get overly jealous about the past. His first GF (and only before me) was 10 years ago and lasted a few months as a bit of a wild summer romance that didn't last him going to Uni. We were scrolling back through old uni pictures on facebook the other day and she was in a few pictures so he told me about her. The whole thing seemed very sweet- but I noticed that we looked a bit similar in terms of hair, eyes and build. He was single for a number of reasons-but he had a crush on a housemate for a few years- it just never worked out and then she married someone- and whencI saw group photos of them I realised she had the same hair, eyes etc again . He kissed another housemate while at uni but feels really bad about it because he wasn't interested in her- and she was the complete opposite in terms of looks. I came to this sudden realisation that I look like the girls he's liked or dated before . And then when I met his mum I realised that we look alike too! I feel like the saying that people want to date their mother/ father feels weirdly true! Have you ever realised your SO must have a type? Any thoughts on the idea that people want to date people like their parents? Just curious!
stillafool Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 I don't find it odd. I thought everyone had a type. 2
Gaeta Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Yes we all have a type. The men I dated don't physically look alike but they were all extroverted, very witty and funny and hard working.
ElKay Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 I find it weirder when a guy doesn't have a type, or at least says that they don't have one... Dated one that dated all sizes, styles and colors. He was an ******* in a nice guy costume, so this ended up being a sign that he was just dating just to date... :/ No actual feelings other than what his bored guy parts were dictating.
grays Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 I have more than once noticed exes with new girlfriends who look similar to me. One had a girlfriend who looked just like me and even had the same uncommon first name. lol My husband of 25 years, otoh, had a type that was nothing like me and ended up leaving me for a woman that was that type. He was actually not at all my type either. I was super heartbroken when I realized we were over, but I have to admit that being with guys that are really my type has been a great thing.
dude360 Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 No weirder than when women choose to only date tall dudes. It's called preferences.
preraph Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Yeah, I find that whole dating your mom's doppleganger extremely creepy, but it's common enough. It's just sad they can't see who you are instead of just picking someone who looks like their mom and then having sex with it. Ewww. And you just know that then at every turn as they get to actually KNOW you, they're going to either be saying or thinking, That's not how Mom would do it.
Lotsgoingon Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 A close friend of mine is divorced ... in her early 50s. As part of the wedding planning, she meets with her ex over coffee one day ... the ex brings along his new wife. My friend was stunned by how much she and the new wife looked alike. Skip to the wedding itself: people were coming up to her and noting the similarity. One woman--fresh from meeting the new wife for the first time-- said to myself, something like "He (your ex) certainly has a type--doesn't he?"
RecentChange Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Yeah it's not too unsual, lots of people have a "type". I have to admit, my type is smart.... Looks wise, I have dated all kinds of different guys, tall, short, skinny, bug and buff. Professional, artist.... But they were all extremely bright and articulate. Now my husband? He looks a lot like my dad!!! Taller, broader, but they have a similar look, and even more, similar personalities and interest / hobbies.
Woggle Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 My wife is nothing like any other woman I have dated and that is probably we have such a great relationship. My people picker was certainly broken back in the day. I used to be into edgy kind of women with a dark aura but my first marriage cured me of that. It feels good being with a woman who has a genuinely good and positive aura. My wife dated all kind of men back in the day so it doesn't seem like she really had a type.
snowboy91 Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Have you ever realised your SO must have a type? Any thoughts on the idea that people want to date people like their parents? Just curious! To answer the second part of the question - the idea that people date people like their parents isn't a conscious decision, it's probably based more out of familiarity. Socially people are somewhat similar to their parents, so they're compatible with people who are like their parents. And the parents are often the closest example of what a good relationship looks like, so people might associate someone like their parents with some perception of an ideal partner. For the first part, my recent ex admitted fairly early that she takes a liking (emotionally) to the awkward nerdy guys (which used to be me until I got over my anxiety and stopped being awkward) - she knows that she can have more interesting conversations with them. But she's physically attracted to tradesmen/men who fill more traditionally male jobs.
Art_Critic Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 My wife isn't what I had thought my type was before I met her, I changed my type after I started dating her, I'm glad I did and today she still turns my crank and makes Mr Wiggles stand at attention I also am not my wife's type so we both stepped out of our comfort zones to be with each other. I hope I still make her knees weak... 1
CollegeKid101 Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Every girl I am interested in romantically has had blonde hair, a pretty face, and blue eyes. <-- Sounds cliche, but it's true. On the other hand, some of my friends like dark hair/dark eyed girls. It's just how it is.
d0nnivain Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 No but I am well aware that I have a type. If you put pictures of all the men I ever dated side by side the majority look like they could be related: dark hair, light eyes, thin, medium build (under 6 ft). They were all smart with wicked senses of humor. On occasion when I have had worlds collide & my present guy has to be introduced to an EX, they tend to like each other because they are that similar in personality. There were a few tall blonde outliers in there but they do had the brains & wit.
carhill Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 Only been married once and, meeting one exH and seeing pictures of another and meeting my exW's boyfriend she's been now living with for over 8 years, they're all different, as am I. Different frames, different faces, different hair (I have none), different personalities (of the ones I've met). No commonalities that I can see and none remotely looked like her father. I'm pretty much the same way and definitely none of my partners, nor wife, ever remotely looked like my mother. My wife was short, chubby and had brown hair and brown eyes and was generally pretty laid back, personality wise. My mom was tall, slender, green eyed, jet black hair and always into something, very energetic, even when old. Very ordered. If anything, though I loved her to death, I was glad to get away from that I think people who have a defined type likely have it a bit easier when sorting through potential mates. It might thin the pool a bit but going through it is faster. There's less ambiguity. Fewer what ifs. That said, I'm good with my style. Different strokes.
coolheadal Posted July 13, 2018 Posted July 13, 2018 I don't prejudge anyone I been dating.. I am 5.10 Green Eyes sometime they turn blue I do wish they just stay blue.. LOL I find myself attracted to woman who share the same eye color. Brown eyes rules, but I have dated many of these types.. When I do date blue eyed women I feel more relax. I've only dated one grey eyed woman we did have fun she had bleach blonde hair and drove white dodge stealth sport car. I had a blast with her. I don't date the same type of woman I never bother to think about it. Blondes/Blue eyes maybe 2 and the rest mix colors. Whoever I feel connected with I going to be with them. Current is Brown eye gal. Same woman from prior work place. Funny we both found full-time new jobs at different companies I am okay not working with her at the same place I am at now. I had taken her out to celebrate.. We had a blast! I enjoy my current because she's tough, she knows what she doing (I hope so LOL) and she's in to me 100%. I just hope it continues without anything stopping us. Eye colors aside the most important thing we have fun dancing and playing around. I see her on the weekends now. Before I go OP you have someone who really into you just let it be don't worry if you looked like his priors he's happy with you. We men like to be with someone we feel comfortable with. You fill the build.
mortensorchid Posted July 14, 2018 Posted July 14, 2018 A man goes for his mother? Well, yes some do. Not all of course. But I do see men who do go for a certain physical type - their so/spouses seem to have a similar look to them. Some have a certain personality type. I used to only go out with guys in rock bands / musicians (I'm done with that but that's a whole other thread).
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