Magicmontazzle Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Hey I am a 31 year old single girl. Recently joined online dating with advice from my friend. Not met up with anyone but chatted to a few guys. Couple of weekends ago met a 38/Male. Chatted via text all week and spoke to facetime for three hours - things seemed to be going well! I was thinking maybe I will finally actually meet a guy! After phone call texts became a bit more sporadic and rheutorical... ‘Have a good weekend’ and then I texted after 48 hours of silence last night ‘Hey how are you?’ Got back ‘Sorry; I have been busy - watching football’. Face to face date was arranged weekend end of July (both busy until then with legit reasons). I obviously felt something for this guy - but seriously not sure if this is normal or if guys tend to put in more effort?! The online thing is new to me. Its not like he is not replying. Help - just to keep me on track?
Andy_K Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Communication tends to fade slightly after you've arranged to meet someone. That's normal. Most guys online will have experienced spending weeks getting to know someone over the phone only for them to bail out at the last minute before a meetup, or not be interested in them in person at all, so they're often reluctant to over-invest until you're 'real' - i.e at least one real life date and a second has been arranged.
Gaeta Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Any distance involved? If you cannot meet until the end of July I can't see how you'll be able to date. I would not chat up a local man for 3 weeks before meeting. If he's not available to meet me I'd tell him to contact me again when he's available and I'd continue searching. It's easy to lose interest when you have not met face to face and he's probably chatting up other women, which is ok but his attention will fluctuate.
act00 Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 You can continue this until your schedules are not so busy, see what happens, but honestly, after a couple days...a week of texting and some FT...you should have had a date planned and executed by now. What are the demographics? Do you live near each other? Do your schedules mesh? The fact he has "no time" for a date, and communication has dropped, could suggest he either enjoys a text buddy or he has met someone else, is dating others of higher priority, maybe he has a GF or married, or he's a scammer. I tend to take them at face value, but when I've found myself in texting situations where no date ever seems to materialize, and these have been situations where location and schedules are not an issue, they're just not interested...or not interested enough (like the idea of dating)...pen pal, other priorities, entertainment, what have you. His communication dropped a significant degree to the point he couldn't be bothered to shoot you a text before "hanging to watch football," and that's not a good sign. If he was interested but busy, he wouldn't want to lose that momentum. You're free to see how this plays out, but the name of the game is not to get attached and not to build up this guy in your head. He's a fantasy, and until you meet face-to-face, you have no idea how this will go or who he is. If you can't get a date out of him after two weeks, I'd call it a bust...especially after he went silent. No meet, no text. 1
Zippy2000 Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Sometimes you can gauge how interested a guy or girl is by their messages from length to the time inbetween they get sent. I wouldn't rely 100% on messaging though. I understand the World Cup is on but it doesn't take 5 minutes to fire a text. Its been a couple of weeks. Have you thought of getting a date fixed?
PegNosePete Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 There are a lot of time vampires on OLD who will just chat and not follow through. As you gain experience you will learn to spot them sooner and move on rather than waste your time on them. Do not FEEL anything until you've met in person. It is much much better to chat less and meet sooner. Send 3-5 good quality messages, a quick phone call, then arrange a meeting that week or weekend. If your schedule is too busy then take a break from OLD until you've got more time. If he says his schedule is too busy then move on to others. Waiting until the end of July? No way! You can meet at least 3-4 others before then. 1
coolheadal Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Hey I am a 31 year old single girl. Recently joined online dating with advice from my friend. Not met up with anyone but chatted to a few guys. Couple of weekends ago met a 38/Male. Chatted via text all week and spoke to facetime for three hours - things seemed to be going well! I was thinking maybe I will finally actually meet a guy! After phone call texts became a bit more sporadic and rheutorical... ‘Have a good weekend’ and then I texted after 48 hours of silence last night ‘Hey how are you?’ Got back ‘Sorry; I have been busy - watching football’. Face to face date was arranged weekend end of July (both busy until then with legit reasons). I obviously felt something for this guy - but seriously not sure if this is normal or if guys tend to put in more effort?! The online thing is new to me. Its not like he is not replying. Help - just to keep me on track? Just because you face time with someone you still don't know him really he's still considered a stranger. You already really like him as if he felt the same way football game or not he would have been there as he said he would have. So you already know it's the not the one. Like I said you will know. Online anyone can be who they want, say that they want and do what they want. The sky-the-limit! Just be careful on your choices and get to know the guy you want to be with. If they're not showing you interest, or attention to your liking then drop and move on!
Author Magicmontazzle Posted July 12, 2018 Author Posted July 12, 2018 He seemed quite keen to meet up on facetime. Saying about where we would meet and when. Not proper details though. I guess he is quite busy with work ATM but its not like he is the Prime Minister. I have just deleted his number for now... if he gets back in touch may just say I am busy....
hippychick3 Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Never spend too much time texting and communicating before meeting up. Online is just a medium to meet people, not a substitute for dating. So, if the guy is too busy to meet up within a week of making contact, move on. Regardless of the amount of texting and talking you do with someone, you're still strangers until you meet. Endless texting and facetiming with a stranger is a total time waster... the majority of the time, that false intimacy does not translate into real time intimacy. 2
OneParadox Posted July 12, 2018 Posted July 12, 2018 Ten seconds in real life are worth more than 1,000 texts/emails. You might not really like this guy. Meet him soon (and he can't meet you, move on) 1
PegNosePete Posted July 14, 2018 Posted July 14, 2018 if he gets back in touch may just say I am busy.... Is this some kind of game? It pays to be honest here. If you don't want to meet him any more just say no. If you do, just arrange a meet. There's really no reason to say you're busy if you're not. 2
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