john9999 Posted July 11, 2018 Posted July 11, 2018 Who do you think should bring it up. The man? Because He’s supposed to be the leader. Or the woman so it’s On her timeline and doesn’t feel forced into it. By the way I am talking about the over 40’s crowd. As a guy think it should be the guy and Preferably before sex Occurs.
Author john9999 Posted July 11, 2018 Author Posted July 11, 2018 I don't think anyone should initiate "the talk" and as a man, I definitely won't be bringing it up. I think that a relationship should just happen organically, and if someone has to initiate some kind of talk, then someone is screwing up somewhere. Easy to say until you find out she’s talking to or seeing other guys and it’s not Cheating cause you never declared exclusive. It happens!
Gretchen12 Posted July 11, 2018 Posted July 11, 2018 The talk never stopped anybody from seeing other people when s/he wanted to. 2
snowboy91 Posted July 11, 2018 Posted July 11, 2018 I think the talk should be initiated by whoever feels like the relationship needs to be exclusive. Why does it need to be the guy if the girl decides it's what she wants? I also think that that "talk" needs to happen in some form at some point if you're actively dating others. If I was to meet someone through OLD (say), and the relationship progressed to a point where I'd like it to be exclusive, it's way better to say so and check in than to assume it's exclusive and potentially get hurt. And if the person I'm dating doesn't want to be exclusive, then I'd let them go. Better if I find out sooner than later. 1
Gaeta Posted July 11, 2018 Posted July 11, 2018 Nowadays the talk is a must. It's sad but it's the way it is since online dating has become the route to meeting people. I am 52. My last boyfriend brought up exclusivity after 3 dates and with my current boyfriend I am the one who brought it up after 5 dates. When over 40 you shouldn't bother with who does what. Stand strong in the type of dating you want and don't accept anything else. In my case I did not want to date long term without exclusivity so I gave it 5 dates. If after 5 dates a man wasn't ready for exclusive dating I'd let him go. 1
SevenCity Posted July 11, 2018 Posted July 11, 2018 If a woman you are seeing is also seeing other guys, then she is either not that into you to begin with, or she is just the type to see other guys anyway. Either way, she is not relationship material for you, and trying to force things by initiating a commitment talk isn't going to fix it. The right women for you will make it obvious they are looking to be with you, and they will stop seeing/talking to other guys on their own. This. I never ask a girl to be exclusive...ever. It’s not a man’s job, it’s the woman’s. Labels stem from uncertainty which is feminine energy. Why? Because if she wants to be exclusive she will let you know. A woman with high interest will stop talking to and seeing other guys without you saying a word. No high interest woman is going to be dating other guys because you didn’t make things clear. The guys will magically evaporate once she starts falling for you. I’ve found this happens to me in about 4-6 weeks; or one week with my gf. If she sleeping with other guys because you didn’t have “the talk”, she’s not the type of girl you want to commit to. 2
kendahke Posted July 11, 2018 Posted July 11, 2018 Who do you think should bring it up. The man? Because He’s supposed to be the leader. Or the woman so it’s On her timeline and doesn’t feel forced into it. By the way I am talking about the over 40’s crowd. As a guy think it should be the guy and Preferably before sex Occurs. I think that when it's obvious to both that there is mutual, intense attraction, that's when you lay out what your ground rules are for engagement. It's when you discuss STD's, what your definition of what you have is--and yes, before you're horizontal on the mattress. 1
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