I went on my first awful date last night. And it was 100% my fault. Cringy as hell!

July 11, 2018

1. Go on a date with the intention of having fun, instead worrying about hooking up or something.

2. Pay attention to your gut when it tells you this girl is obviously not into you due to her body language and behavior.

3. Don’t make a “Hail Mary” with a girl you obviously don’t have any chemistry with.

4. Masturbate a few days before a date.... not joking. Last time I had sex was two weeks ago, and I hadn’t masturbated at all. It’s no wonder I was desperate to get laid.

5. I used to be a “I only have sex with a girl I’m can connect with”. This date I was completely objecfiying myself and my date, and I will no longer do that.

6. If your move gets rejected, don’t start saying random nonsense on ride to her house only to make things more awkward.

That’s what I learn. What else am I missing?

July 11, 2018

young brother, yes, you screwed up. Guess what, you will continue to do so the rest of your life. The trick is to learn from them and don't make the same mistakes.

What did you learn from this?

Posted what I learned..... I just hope this lesson doesn’t become fatal to my reputation...

July 11, 2018

1. Go on a date with the intention of having fun, instead worrying about hooking up or something.

2. Pay attention to your gut when it tells you this girl is obviously not into you due to her body language and behavior.

3. Don’t make a “Hail Mary” with a girl you obviously don’t have any chemistry with.

4. Masturbate a few days before a date.... not joking. Last time I had sex was two weeks ago, and I hadn’t masturbated at all. It’s no wonder I was desperate to get laid.

5. I used to be a “I only have sex with a girl I’m can connect with”. This date I was completely objecfiying myself and my date, and I will no longer do that.

6. If your move gets rejected, don’t start saying random nonsense on ride to her house only to make things more awkward.

That’s what I learn. What else am I missing?

Well done .

July 11, 2018

Well ... I can tell you what I think and feel as a woman in that situation. And perhaps men do as well. WHen you agree to meet up with someone in an OLD no matter what that online source is or is not, I think you hope that the person will be at least decent. And ... You were not. And it's just what it is.

Years ago in the MySpace days I had an OLD with someone. It was a disaster. He showed up about an hour late after I had called him twice asking what his ETA was. He looked like he had just rolled out of bed when I saw him. He said he used to be a nurse and he got hooked on drugs, and he was high as a kite. He nodded off in front of me. I got up, went to the hostess at the front of the restaurant and said the man at that table over there is high and I am walking away. I gave her a $20. I said "I know you don't know me, but I really am sorry about this." And left. He never contacted me again. I checked his MySpace page a few more times and he said that he was arrested again, broke his ribs around his heart in a fight, and he was a musician and all people care about in this town is the image and not his "real music". Loser. I think about him sometimes, wondering if he remembers that encounter or not, but it was fleeting.

July 11, 2018

Posted what I learned..... I just hope this lesson doesn’t become fatal to my reputation...

How many people are currently gossiping about it? (I suspect none)

July 11, 2018

How many people are currently gossiping about it? (I suspect none)

Have no idea. She made two posts, and blocked me after. Rightfully so!

However I honestly afraid that she maybe made one of those long posts girls do. And gave many details of this cringy horrible date she went on and maybe even mentioned my name.

I mean, I don’t know if she did so or not, but I’ve spent the whole day being paranoid she did. Couldn’t work out properly today because this has been on mind 95% of the day so far....

July 11, 2018

How many of your friends are looking to date seriously versus how many at 23 have an orbit of guys dropping in and dropping out? That may be you, but there are a bunch at that age that are not looking for a bf. I know of an odd amount at 23 that date 40+ year old men not for the long term, but for the short term benefits. A lot of women in their 20s are into hookups, never said all of them were.

You know how you get a hookup or a fwb? It's not always just a drunken meeting at the bar. Usually it's a date where you both kind of resolve you have some interest in each other but not the whole relationship responsibility thing.

I think his issue was feeling her out, seeing she was not really a candidate but throwing a hail mary any way.

Not to hijack the thread, but I had a mix bag of friends.

Some into hookups, others liked to be in relationships.

I never said serious relationhips. I said they wanted a bf. They wanted to be in exclusive relationships with people they loved and were comitted to for a time. Not have fwb and have sex with random people because that wasn't what they wanted.

Their relationships that latested 1 to 4 years respectively while in college. Others I know r still together, so it happens.

My other friends have sex random people all the time. They were cool with that.

I also knew a number of people that were virgins through out all of undergrad. And never dated either.

That is my experience in undergrad.

This is why I dont personally have sex with a guy until we are exclusive. It avoids these situations.

You need to make sure everyone is on the same page.

Edited July 11, 2018 by HiCrunchy

July 11, 2018

BREAKING NEWS: 20-year-old guy acts like a jackazz on a first date. Girl airs her grievances on Facebook. Story At 11!

Anyway some perspective is in order. Yes OP you made the mistakes as noted in this thread. And you are right to go over what happened so you act (much) better next time. But no one was really hurt, and people will move on from this within a week. So ease your mind about that.

July 11, 2018

1. Go on a date with the intention of having fun, instead worrying about hooking up or something.

2. Pay attention to your gut when it tells you this girl is obviously not into you due to her body language and behavior.

3. Don’t make a “Hail Mary” with a girl you obviously don’t have any chemistry with.

4. Masturbate a few days before a date.... not joking. Last time I had sex was two weeks ago, and I hadn’t masturbated at all. It’s no wonder I was desperate to get laid.

5. I used to be a “I only have sex with a girl I’m can connect with”. This date I was completely objecfiying myself and my date, and I will no longer do that.

6. If your move gets rejected, don’t start saying random nonsense on ride to her house only to make things more awkward.

That’s what I learn. What else am I missing?

those are some good ones to go by. Save this post as a reminder.

As for her ****posting potential ... well, do you have any common friends who could "monitor" the postings for you?

If you have to go to the extreme you could post a mea culpa (look it up if you don't know what that means) and state you learned a lot about yourself and you find yourself a better man now. That's true, right?

Or if you could somehow reach out and apologize outside of FB, that might be the best effort.

Good luck, I think you just ducked up. You don't seem like a douche. You seem honestly regretful. And you drove her home like a gentleman, albeit with awkward conversation (and another sad attempt to hook up). But at least you delivered on that. You are not one of the cretins who would do a lot worse when their pride is insulted.

July 11, 2018

OP obviously thought he was some don juan after seducing an overweight girl that he was SO shock up about his lack of prowless, that he had to post online about his dating disaster.

A good lesson in realising not every woman in the world wants you and the same old moves do not work on everyone.

July 11, 2018

OP obviously thought he was some don juan after seducing an overweight girl that he was SO shock up about his lack of prowless, that he had to post online about his dating disaster.

A good lesson in realising not every woman in the world wants you and the same old moves do not work on everyone.

Correction! First girl was overweight, not the second.

But yeah you right. The same old moves didn’t work on everyone, and it’s time to approach dates in a different manner.

July 11, 2018

Ok so I took out a girl on met on Facebook yesterday . Let me just start it by saying that I’m a guy who doesn’t want to date seriously, and I only want to do friends with benefits/**** buddies at this point of my life. I’m 20.
Warning, I’m such a ****ing loser and pathetic in this post.

So these past 2 girls I dated I was able to have sex with on the first date. So I wanted to do the same with this girl I took out today. I pick her up, and take her to go get ice cream. We get to know each other. I was realizing that I didn’t have much in common with this girl, and there was no chemistry at all. She hardly my type, and couldn’t hold conversation with her very well. But my dumbass had this “I’m here to get laid, not connect” mentality. So I took her to the park and started getting physical, putting my arm around. We walked around and held hands. Just talking and exchanging stories. Thing is, she would be on her phone A LOT. I wasn’t assertive enough to call her out on it.

But anyways, getting dark and late, so we go to my car and start chilling in the front seat. I then ask her do you want to go back to my place. She looks at me with a “uh wow that’s pretty straight up” face. She says I guess yeah sure. I’m not sure why, I guess because I was desperate to show my intention, I try to kiss her right there and then in the front seat.

And she pull away before I can get close and says “ no I’m sorry. Look I’m talking to a guy, serious. Didn’t think you were going to kiss me”. She then tells me that I should take her home. Pretty awkward 15 minute ride let me tell you. **** I was being really awkward and cringy. At one point she asks “where are we going.” To which I reply with “we said your house. Duh. Unless you want to go back to my place haha”. Not sure if I was being serious or Trying to break the ice

**** am I pathetic. I didn’t handle myself well. I’ve never been on a bad date. Never even on a date with someone I didn’t really connect with much. Nor have ever dealt with a girl that’s one the phone a lot.

And guess what? 30 minutes later I check her FB and it says “after what I just went through, I’m saying single till I get married”. And another one that said “I’ve never been in such a ****ty situation I wanted to get out of so bad”. Not sure what else she put because she blocked me after reading those two posts. I feel so ****ing ashamed for some reason.

This what I deserve for trying to get physical with a girl I didn’t connect with. All I thought was what I wanted and didn’t think that maybe this girl didn’t want anything to do with me physically since I we didn’t connect at all.

I really thought that because we held hands that she was some what interested physically but I guess not.

Thoughts? Any bad first date stories from you guys you can tell me that might make feel better? I deactivated my Facebook because damn I don’t want her posts to get all these comments and likes and for her to mention my name so people can look me up and make fun of me....

Well your mindset was to have sex but she didn't put out! I only had one date like this once but it was in reverse. She wanted me to go back to her place, I told her no it's okay I only live 15 minutes away. She really wasn't my type I wasn't really in to her. To me he was a bit older looking so I guess she really lied about her age. She had live in room mate (aka male) she just kicked him out of her place. I am not his replacement or rebound. The next day she wanted me to come over again. I said nah it's okay... So we men like to go on dates that don't end so well. Live and learn.. Remember you 20 you got a lot of learning to do about women.

July 11, 2018

Well, all you can do is learn from this. You already know where you went wrong, and hopefully you know what you can do better next time. Your inexperience is shining through very brightly here, but you just have to take it on the chin and move on.

For what it's worth, she will not be focused on you and this episode for long. Yes, she'll remember it as a date that went wrong but she will meet some other guy and her mind will be occupied by him. I highly doubt she is going to mention you by name, OP. Her friends will probably know but I can't see her broadcasting that all over social media.

July 11, 2018

Good for her.

July 11, 2018

Correction! First girl was overweight, not the second.

But yeah you right. The same old moves didn’t work on everyone, and it’s time to approach dates in a different manner.

It's also time to respect women.

July 11, 2018

This girl sounds quite immature anyway. Imagine if you had the connection and was intimate with her, she might make a couple of fb posts announcing how bad the sex was.

July 11, 2018

OP obviously thought he was some don juan after seducing an overweight girl that he was SO shock up about his lack of prowless, that he had to post online about his dating disaster.

A good lesson in realising not every woman in the world wants you and the same old moves do not work on everyone.

This. You'll both forget about your interaction and move on.

When you agree to meet up with someone in an OLD no matter what that online source is or is not, I think you hope that the person will be at least decent. And ... You were not. And it's just what it is.

Also this. You chose to ignore the complete lack of mutual chemistry, it doesn't sound like there was any flirting or buildup where you could have confidently anticipated her to reciprocate your interest in a fling. She was far more interested in playing with her phone than with you - that was your cue to end the date.

Most people aren't clutching their pearls over casual encounters these days, but men and women looking for hookups still want to feel desired and have a good rapport with a potential sex partner, not feel like they're just another warm body for someone who's desperately seeking to get their rocks off that day. Zero chemistry and "wanna come to my house" is about as sexy as picking up someone at last call. If someone isn't your type and clearly isn't flirting with you, it's probably not worth your while to approach them for a ons.

July 11, 2018

Clutching their pearls...wow that's an oldie but a goodie

July 11, 2018

Well, all you can do is learn from this. You already know where you went wrong, and hopefully you know what you can do better next time. Your inexperience is shining through very brightly here, but you just have to take it on the chin and move on.

For what it's worth, she will not be focused on you and this episode for long. Yes, she'll remember it as a date that went wrong but she will meet some other guy and her mind will be occupied by him. I highly doubt she is going to mention you by name, OP. Her friends will probably know but I can't see her broadcasting that all over social media.

What sucks is the I really suck at getting experience. I’m a late bloomer in the dating world. I didn’t go on my first date till last June. Thing is, I’ve always had problems talking to girls. Get shy and nervous around them. I suck at flirting, and never asked out a girl in person. Add that with low confidence because I’m very unattractive. (The only good thing I have is being 6’5 but that Doesn’t matter when you’re ugly)

So for me it’s haed getting dates. Like REALLY HARD. If I’m bad now at this dating thing, I’ll be worse later down the road when another girl decides to give me a chance months from now. (If ever).

July 12, 2018

Based on the things you learned, I am sure you are going to be fine. Good luck with everything op. We are young and make mistakes. You will be okay.

July 12, 2018

What sucks is the I really suck at getting experience. I’m a late bloomer in the dating world. I didn’t go on my first date till last June. Thing is, I’ve always had problems talking to girls. Get shy and nervous around them. I suck at flirting, and never asked out a girl in person. Add that with low confidence because I’m very unattractive. (The only good thing I have is being 6’5 but that Doesn’t matter when you’re ugly)

So for me it’s haed getting dates. Like REALLY HARD. If I’m bad now at this dating thing, I’ll be worse later down the road when another girl decides to give me a chance months from now. (If ever).

Even more reason why you should be considering a relationship instead of casual hookups. If you have a hard time with women, you're only making it harder on yourself when you constantly have to find a new one. And, you'll find that sex is better with a woman you actually have feelings for.

There's nothing wrong with wanting casual sex, but you were going about it all wrong, treating the women like a piece of meat. As has been mentioned, even if a woman is up for something casual, she still wants to be treated like she's something special, and when she says no the first time, assume she means it.

July 12, 2018

Even more reason why you should be considering a relationship instead of casual hookups. If you have a hard time with women, you're only making it harder on yourself when you constantly have to find a new one. And, you'll find that sex is better with a woman you actually have feelings for.

There's nothing wrong with wanting casual sex, but you were going about it all wrong, treating the women like a piece of meat. As has been mentioned, even if a woman is up for something casual, she still wants to be treated like she's something special, and when she says no the first time, assume she means it.

Believe me, I wanted to be in a relationship. So bad. The first girl ever dated was the one I wanted to build a relationship. We agreed we were going to be exclusive. Only for her to tell me after a while of dating that she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Few weeks later, she’s dating another guy. No. Not just another guy, guys. I was so hearbroken. Never again do I want to feel that way. It isn’t worth it. To this day, 6 months after she dumped be, there hasn’t even gone an hour where I don’t think about her.

July 12, 2018

Believe me, I wanted to be in a relationship. So bad. The first girl ever dated was the one I wanted to build a relationship. We agreed we were going to be exclusive. Only for her to tell me after a while of dating that she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Few weeks later, she’s dating another guy. No. Not just another guy, guys. I was so hearbroken. Never again do I want to feel that way. It isn’t worth it. To this day, 6 months after she dumped be, there hasn’t even gone an hour where I don’t think about her.

Well, she didn't lie. If she's dating multiple guys, that's not a relationship. Maybe you could get back in the mix and casually date her.

July 13, 2018

What sucks is the I really suck at getting experience. I’m a late bloomer in the dating world. I didn’t go on my first date till last June. Thing is, I’ve always had problems talking to girls. Get shy and nervous around them. I suck at flirting, and never asked out a girl in person. Add that with low confidence because I’m very unattractive. (The only good thing I have is being 6’5 but that Doesn’t matter when you’re ugly)

So for me it’s haed getting dates. Like REALLY HARD. If I’m bad now at this dating thing, I’ll be worse later down the road when another girl decides to give me a chance months from now. (If ever).

Hey dude, you're 20. Relax. I'm guessing you didn't have much luck with girls at high school, but once you're on the other side of 20 things change a LOT. Social skills and confidence go a long way to being attractive.

So this is the third person you've dated? Yes, it went awful. Yes, you tried to get sex out of it like you did the previous dates, and that ended terribly. But that's all experience, and it's clear from your other posts that you've learned that.

But what I'll add is that girls are all as unique as guys are. You'll click with some girls really well, others badly because everyone's personalities are different. Some girls want to have sex on the first date, others want to wait because they want a relationship. Chemistry and compatibility are really important - if a date is going badly then it's just a bad date. You're not right for each other, so don't force anything with that person and go find the next one. Remember that before a date, you have no idea whether she's the kind of person you will have a relationship with, want to have sex with or whatever, and the idea of the date is to find out.

July 16, 2018

**** am I pathetic. I didn’t handle myself well. I’ve never been on a bad date. Never even on a date with someone I didn’t really connect with much. Nor have ever dealt with a girl that’s one the phone a lot.

Generally speaking, dating is usually to see if there's any type of connection so there will be times that there totally isn't. You're still young and have a long way to go.

And guess what? 30 minutes later I check her FB and it says “after what I just went through, I’m saying single till I get married”. And another one that said “I’ve never been in such a ****ty situation I wanted to get out of so bad”. Not sure what else she put because she blocked me after reading those two posts. I feel so ****ing ashamed for some reason.

You feel ashamed? I certainly hope you learn from this.

This what I deserve for trying to get physical with a girl I didn’t connect with. All I thought was what I wanted and didn’t think that maybe this girl didn’t want anything to do with me physically since I we didn’t connect at all.

I really thought that because we held hands that she was some what interested physically but I guess not.

This is what happens when you assume a touch from a women (pretty or otherwise) means she wants to have sex with you.

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I went on my first awful date last night. And it was 100% my fault. Cringy as hell!

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