Author Glx Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 He was just going out with his friend though. How could you have not went on a date later? Just making sure I am reading that correctly. He asked her around 19:00 if she has any plans for the evening/night (wanted to go out for some drinks with her) She couldn't come that day. Then around 22:00 he asked me if I want to go to the city with him. Only today I learned about that other girl
Author Glx Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 So at first he wanted to go out with her actually, not with me. And the next day he was leaving already. So if she would have gone out with him that day, he wouldn't ask me out (because he would have been with her already)
ThreeRainbows Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I didn't reply anything yet to his "good morning" text because I don't know how to behave anymore. Before I knew that he asked another girl out (before our date), I though that I can become warmer to him, initiate some conversations first etc. But now I feel like a plan B and I am very confused. My friends suggested me to ignore most of his messages for now as well. It is very sad, because I was so happy that things are going better between us. That's why I would always schedule a date a few days in advance. Never accept something day of. It prevents this.
CantTakeMySmile Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 So at first he wanted to go out with her actually, not with me. And the next day he was leaving already. So if she would have gone out with him that day, he wouldn't ask me out (because he would have been with her already) yeah, it does sound like you were plan B At least you know now
Author Glx Posted August 1, 2018 Author Posted August 1, 2018 I just don't get why is he so nice to me then. Why did he do all that stuff during the date, and then for a couple of days all these "good morning-good night" texts (that he doesn't do usually) feeling so sad now and don't know what to do. apparently I don't matter that much to him as he does to me... I really can't understand that guy
CantTakeMySmile Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I just don't get why is he so nice to me then. Why did he do all that stuff during the date, and then for a couple of days all these "good morning-good night" texts (that he doesn't do usually) feeling so sad now and don't know what to do. apparently I don't matter that much to him as he does to me... I really can't understand that guy We can't really speculate why someone does things they do. I do know that I do things for people because I like to. I mean, it makes me feel good to make people be appreciated. Maybe this falls into that type of category. I am sure the reality of this is very sad. Just try to move forward and focus on the blessing you have of knowing the truth now. Sooner than later is always best.
Author Glx Posted August 2, 2018 Author Posted August 2, 2018 should I tell him anything about this situation or should I just distance myself from him without an explanation? I didn't respond anything to that "good morning" text, and he didn't write anymore as well.
ThreeRainbows Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 should I tell him anything about this situation or should I just distance myself from him without an explanation? I didn't respond anything to that "good morning" text, and he didn't write anymore as well. Personally? I say drop him; distance. NC. With all that's going on, and even though you admit to making mistakes, there is enough evidence there for me to think this is also a case of him wanting you around, but not wanting you. He's stringing you along.
CantTakeMySmile Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 should I tell him anything about this situation or should I just distance myself from him without an explanation? I didn't respond anything to that "good morning" text, and he didn't write anymore as well. I think that is a very personal decision only you can make. Do what makes you feel the best. I think if you want to work on a romantic relationship with him, then communication is a must. If not ( and this is where I would be now) then I would just stop talking to him. 1
tlc764 Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 (edited) Hun, i have to be honest here. The guy seems to be threading carefully since you kept initiating fights. I get the feeling he likes you, but he isn't so sure if it will work out. You should just ask him straight up if hes in or out. Do not play the hard to get game. It is not mature and how are you going to build communication this way? If you really like him, talk to him. Be honest about why you had been fighting and your insecurities. I think this way, everything is on the table and you both can come to a conclusion. Maybe the other girl is just a friend. Do not jump to your own conclusions. I made the same mistakes growing up and realized i did not handle relationships properly and lost someone i really liked this way. Edited August 2, 2018 by tlc764
ThreeRainbows Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 Hun, i have to be honest here. The guy seems to be threading carefully since you kept initiating fights. I get the feeling he likes you, but he isn't so sure if it will work out. You should just ask him straight up if hes in or out. Do not play the hard to get game. It is not mature and how are you going to build communication this way? If you really like him, talk to him. Be honest about why you had been fighting and your insecurities. I think this way, everything is on the table and you both can come to a conclusion. Maybe the other girl is just a friend. Do not jump to your own conclusions. I made the same mistakes growing up and realized i did not handle relationships properly and lost someone i really liked this way. If you go this route, it cuts the chase, but don't expect it to end the way you want it to. Strong vibes he is just casually interested in you, and not very interested in working things out. As long as you go into it knowing that the result may not be good, it can save you time from wondering. However, be prepared. It might hurt. In fact, it probably will hurt. Going the NC route will preserve your self-respect and hurt less. But use it to move on, not to play games. Up to you.
Author Glx Posted August 2, 2018 Author Posted August 2, 2018 sent him some random picture today and wrote a small message, wanted to show some initiative, especially after we had a good time. decided to forget that incident with another girl. he replied only "wow" with a smiley, didn't ask or write anything else. I guess if he would be interested, he could have at least asked me how my day was, or at least send me some picture/text in return, especially if he is on holiday in another country. that hurts a lot, but at least I see that he is not interested that much...
ThreeRainbows Posted August 3, 2018 Posted August 3, 2018 sent him some random picture today and wrote a small message, wanted to show some initiative, especially after we had a good time. decided to forget that incident with another girl. he replied only "wow" with a smiley, didn't ask or write anything else. I guess if he would be interested, he could have at least asked me how my day was, or at least send me some picture/text in return, especially if he is on holiday in another country. that hurts a lot, but at least I see that he is not interested that much... Ouch. I would have been more direct. By sending a picture, it's an indirect way of asking.. It says "I'm scared to ask you if you still like me." I would have just done the mature thing and say "So I've been wondering about our relationship.." etc. It probably would have had the same ending anyways, though. His interest was just low since the break-up. Time to move on. 1
CantTakeMySmile Posted August 3, 2018 Posted August 3, 2018 Ouch. I would have been more direct. By sending a picture, it's an indirect way of asking.. It says "I'm scared to ask you if you still like me." I would have just done the mature thing and say "So I've been wondering about our relationship.." etc. It probably would have had the same ending anyways, though. His interest was just low since the break-up. Time to move on. Op, were you not more direct because you wanted to leave the door Open to try again?
Author Glx Posted August 3, 2018 Author Posted August 3, 2018 Op, were you not more direct because you wanted to leave the door Open to try again? the thing is that I don't think he would ask me to become his girlfriend directly after everything what happened... I kind of hoped that he would come back, we would fix our relationship (because we fought before), and then maybe we could be finally together. especially if he wanted it once. so I still hoped that he sees me as a love interest, that he wants us to be together... and that is the reason why I went to meet him and then continued to talk to him.
Author Glx Posted August 3, 2018 Author Posted August 3, 2018 By the way, today in the morning he also sent me a picture of the country where he is now, and wrote "it is very beautiful here"
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