Asking your barista/bartender/server out, and how to deal with unknown ages?

[Unhappy_Nerd]

Unhappy Nerd

 

If your barrista is as far off the mainstream beaten path as you think, she probably has the thick skin to deal with unwanted attraction from customers. If she doesn't want to date you, she'll have no problem telling you because she dances to the beat of her own drummer & is comfy in her own skin. Similarly, if she's interested, she will accept your offer happily.

 

The key remains finding a time to ask her out that is not super busy. And for you to be chill & not weird or awkward if she declines.

 

I know it's ironic...I don't care about the mainstream, yet I'm inquiring about the propriety of asking someone out at work. Mostly, I don't want to do something if it's more or less universally considered rude.

 

I'll take my chances next time I see her, and see how it goes.

[joeLove]

Honestly, there is no universal rule for any of this. If you are genuine about it, then that's all that matters.

Think about it like this. You been out of the game for a while. In case this doesn't work out, just look at is as a learning experience and move on to the next one.

Just ask her if she would be willing to share her phone number with you. It is called closing. Learn how to close. You are going to need it going forward !!!

[act00]

I think all you can do is ask her out. Maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe not. There seems to be some mutual attraction with this woman. She's friendly to the customers, and we have our regulars, but I've been on both sides of the counter with this attraction, so I think you can work on the vibe...be prepared she's not interested or has a BF. I met a couple boyfriends because a customer/client took the initiative to ask me out. Sadly, I have never had the balls to do the same as the customer/client...anatomically speaking, I have no balls anyway...and there have been a couple of circumstances where I wished I could have grown a pair and done the asking and extended the interest. I give guys a lot of credit for putting themselves out there.

 

Just say that you would like to take her out for a drink sometime, maybe coffee or something other than coffee, and can I call you? She'll fork over her number if she's sweet on you. Good luck!

[Unhappy_Nerd]

So, just an update.

 

Barista final report: No boyfriend, but only 20 years old. Leaving for college in a couple of weeks.

 

So damn I'm bad at guessing ages. lol. I never volunteered my age...most people guess I'm in my late 20's to early 30's. But I still felt like a creeper.

 

I wished her well, and left it at that.

 

Lesson here: I should stick to Tinder and Bumble where ages are listed up front.

[d0nnivain]

Well you tried. You are not a creeper because you really didn't know she was young enough to be your daughter. You'd only be a creeper if you asked her out anyway. I hope you wished her well in school.

[Unhappy_Nerd]

I hope you wished her well in school.

 

Indeed I did. Although I'm sad to be losing my barista, lol. She always got my order spot on.