hamsterhouse Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 (edited) I went on another date today - coffee, a walk in the park, then ice cream. We had decent conversations and I had her laughing. Admittedly, I did not feel as strongly for her in person as I had in the lead-up texting over the past week. She texted me afterwards and said she had a great time but felt more of a platonic vibe than romantic. It was polite and mature of her to do so, and I'm not broken up about it because I didn't feel too strongly for her as well, but it got me thinking. Over the past year and a half I've been on maybe 20-25 first dates. Usually we just meet for coffee, but there have been a few random activity dates as well. Most resulted in no mutual connection, some were so-so and never went anywhere, but a few of them were definitely a lot of fun with seemingly great connection. We had each other laughing, lots of eye contact, lots of shared interests, long conversations. Still, they went nowhere. After my date tonight and after her telling me she felt a platonic connection, it had me looking back at those few great dates and realizing those girls likely felt the same way. I'm a good looking, fun, polite, conversational guy, but I'm trying to understand why I'm putting off more of a platonic than a romantic vibe. My last promising date was a ton of fun. She told me what a great time she had, she had a giant smile on her face when we had a hug and kiss goodbye, then a few days later she ghosted. Could there be specific cues or things I'm doing that turn these girls off? Do I keep conversations too conversational and not flirty? How does one even act flirty on a simple face-to-face coffee date? After 20-25 dates I would think at least one of them would turn into something promising, but as of now, crickets. Edited July 9, 2018 by hamsterhouse
Logo Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 You got to be flirty. Tease, joke, playfully and politely make fun of her. Touch her arm or the lower part of her back as you’re leaving a place. Lock eyes. By the end of the first date you should walk away having kissed her on the lips, left her wanting more and established yourself as a confident, strong male figure. If you really want them swooning, get them to the point where they’re laughing and having fun while uttering the phrase, “oh you’re so baaad”. On a lighter note, watch some nature documentaries, you’ll figure it out. Back to being serious, you have to make your date comfortable to the point that she’s looking forward to the kiss at the end of the date. Ideally, you don’t want a woman walking away from a first date without a kiss, or better yet a short make out session. When you do that, you’re practically telling her that you find her attractive and that you know what you’re doing. A lot of it is non-verbal.
newyorker11356 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 (edited) I went on another date today - coffee, a walk in the park, then ice cream. We had decent conversations and I had her laughing. Admittedly, I did not feel as strongly for her in person as I had in the lead-up texting over the past week. She texted me afterwards and said she had a great time but felt more of a platonic vibe than romantic. It was polite and mature of her to do so, and I'm not broken up about it because I didn't feel too strongly for her as well, but it got me thinking. Over the past year and a half I've been on maybe 20-25 first dates. Usually we just meet for coffee, but there have been a few random activity dates as well. Most resulted in no mutual connection, some were so-so and never went anywhere, but a few of them were definitely a lot of fun with seemingly great connection. We had each other laughing, lots of eye contact, lots of shared interests, long conversations. Still, they went nowhere. After my date tonight and after her telling me she felt a platonic connection, it had me looking back at those few great dates and realizing those girls likely felt the same way. I'm a good looking, fun, polite, conversational guy, but I'm trying to understand why I'm putting off more of a platonic than a romantic vibe. My last promising date was a ton of fun. She told me what a great time she had, she had a giant smile on her face when we had a hug and kiss goodbye, then a few days later she ghosted. Could there be specific cues or things I'm doing that turn these girls off? Do I keep conversations too conversational and not flirty? How does one even act flirty on a simple face-to-face coffee date? After 20-25 dates I would think at least one of them would turn into something promising, but as of now, crickets. I literally have the EXACT same issue you do, haha. I've been on like 30-35 first dates over the past 2 years, and most rarely go beyond 1 date. I should mention that all aside from 1 have been from online dating apps. Like you, some had no mutual connection, others were eh/so-so, and others I thought went really well. It doesn't seem you're being creepy or anything on these dates, so it could just be as simple as you haven't met the right person yet. At the end of the day, it's a numbers game, sadly. But I get why you're wondering if it's something you are doing wrong since I have the same thoughts. You got to be flirty. Tease, joke, playfully and politely make fun of her. Touch her arm or the lower part of her back as you’re leaving a place. Lock eyes. By the end of the first date you should walk away having kissed her on the lips, left her wanting more and established yourself as a confident, strong male figure. If you really want them swooning, get them to the point where they’re laughing and having fun while uttering the phrase, “oh you’re so baaad”. On a lighter note, watch some nature documentaries, you’ll figure it out. Back to being serious, you have to make your date comfortable to the point that she’s looking forward to the kiss at the end of the date. Ideally, you don’t want a woman walking away from a first date without a kiss, or better yet a short make out session. When you do that, you’re practically telling her that you find her attractive and that you know what you’re doing. A lot of it is non-verbal. In my case, that's not usually an issue (especially with the dates I thought went really well), but yet, they still either ghosted or liked me but in a friendly platonic way. Edited July 9, 2018 by newyorker11356
Sbla22 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 Very similar situation with me - I'm a 26 year old male. Last 3 years probably been on a good 50 plus first dates, all from OLD (except for one or two). Only 5 ever got to anything meaningful. Only around 12 got past the first date. It's incredibly tough as a male. A woman has way more options and doesn't have to pay for the dates so it's no real pressure or investment for them. Things you can do to give yourself a better chance: . Always go for the kiss on date one. There should be little physical things you do before this ideally - touching her on the arm or sitting close to her while you both study a drinks menu are good ones. If she pulls away with the kiss it's all over at that point. If you don't go for the kiss realistically you have maybe one more date to do it or you'l get told you're a nice guy but she felt no chemistry etc .in the lead up to date one just set the date and maybe one or two flirty messages, don't bore her. If a second date is scheduled again do not send her loads of texts. Leave her wondering and show you have a life. .On the first date don't talk about past relationships or about your OLD experience at all unless she explicitly brings it up. .Dress well. ------------ Ultimately I struggle to follow my own advice at times! Sometimes you can do all that - they'll kiss you back and you think everything is great but the next day is always a massive teller. When I think about the few successful experiences I've had this is how I knew they were genuinely romantically interested in me: 1) they text me a thank you/goodnight message as soon as I got home which was wordy and conveyed enthusiasm. 2) they didn't take hours to respond to me after the first date. 3) they made it incredibly easy to see them again. E.g. I offered them 2 days to meet next and they chose the first day. It showed they wanted to see me again quickly. 4) they showed 0 signs of flaky behaviour. There was no 'sounds good, I might be able to do that day but waiting to hear if/will let you know' etc. If a woman doesn't display these things after date 1 then you're just an option at best - if they go over a week without seeing you before date 2 in my experience they were dating others and if that didn't go well they give you one last shot. Whereas with the women that liked me a lot I got the sense they wouldn't be seeing anyone else before they saw me again.
newyorker11356 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 Very similar situation with me - I'm a 26 year old male. Last 3 years probably been on a good 50 plus first dates, all from OLD (except for one or two). Only 5 ever got to anything meaningful. Only around 12 got past the first date. It's incredibly tough as a male. A woman has way more options and doesn't have to pay for the dates so it's no real pressure or investment for them. Things you can do to give yourself a better chance: . Always go for the kiss on date one. There should be little physical things you do before this ideally - touching her on the arm or sitting close to her while you both study a drinks menu are good ones. If she pulls away with the kiss it's all over at that point. If you don't go for the kiss realistically you have maybe one more date to do it or you'l get told you're a nice guy but she felt no chemistry etc .in the lead up to date one just set the date and maybe one or two flirty messages, don't bore her. If a second date is scheduled again do not send her loads of texts. Leave her wondering and show you have a life. .On the first date don't talk about past relationships or about your OLD experience at all unless she explicitly brings it up. .Dress well. ------------ Ultimately I struggle to follow my own advice at times! Sometimes you can do all that - they'll kiss you back and you think everything is great but the next day is always a massive teller. When I think about the few successful experiences I've had this is how I knew they were genuinely romantically interested in me: 1) they text me a thank you/goodnight message as soon as I got home which was wordy and conveyed enthusiasm. 2) they didn't take hours to respond to me after the first date. 3) they made it incredibly easy to see them again. E.g. I offered them 2 days to meet next and they chose the first day. It showed they wanted to see me again quickly. 4) they showed 0 signs of flaky behaviour. There was no 'sounds good, I might be able to do that day but waiting to hear if/will let you know' etc. If a woman doesn't display these things after date 1 then you're just an option at best - if they go over a week without seeing you before date 2 in my experience they were dating others and if that didn't go well they give you one last shot. Whereas with the women that liked me a lot I got the sense they wouldn't be seeing anyone else before they saw me again. I fully agree. At this point, I can pretty much tell if the woman is still into me or not by how they act after the first date (next day). Heck, I can usually pretty much even tell by the goodnight/got home safe text at this point (most of the time that is).
Lorenza Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 The only guys that I'm ever attracted to during first dates are the ones who try to get in some kind of physical contact with me - take my hand, touch my shoulder while talking etc. Or at least hold eye contact for longer than whats "appropriate" and smile, make some flirty jokes. If it's just polite conversation, I'll only see it as that. Date nr 2 is probably not going to happen. Oh, and something that works on me (not sure about other women though) is a prolonged hug at the end of the date. If a guy gives me a short friendly hug (even worse if it's accompanied by a little tap) - it's all done for. Whatever spark there might have been, it's gone. I have fallen for a guy a little bit more just because he gave a nice whole hearted hug while saying goodbye. Just don't act like a friend and you won't be seen as one! 1
Art_Critic Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 If you want romantic and not platonic then set your dates up for romance... I'm a flower giver, not saying you should do that but it's in my comfort zone and I've always pulled it off without any hitches.. Besides the ole dating is a numbers games which it is you need to learn to put forth the effort to close the deal. I'm not talking about making sexual overtures during dinner but you need to be making moves that she knows you see her as attractive and want her in more than a platonic way in order for her to see you in a romantic way. It's kinda hard to setup a date for you on here but be thinking about your game some, making sure you are always close to her when walking and not in front of her but to her side. Your jokes shouldn't be self deprecating or dirty but show you have humor, they can slip into a naughty area if the conversation lends it some... Don't talk about yourself unless asked and keep on point with your answers instead of droning on about yourself. Ask many questions about her and show interest in what she has to say.. likes dislikes etc etc. Never talk negative about anything, if she asks about your past dates gloss over it and don't say anything bad ever about an ex. Stay away from politics and religion unless asked... Make sure you give her a kiss on the first date, and make it more than a peck.. something she can talk to her best friend about.
newyorker11356 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 The only guys that I'm ever attracted to during first dates are the ones who try to get in some kind of physical contact with me - take my hand, touch my shoulder while talking etc. Or at least hold eye contact for longer than whats "appropriate" and smile, make some flirty jokes. If it's just polite conversation, I'll only see it as that. Date nr 2 is probably not going to happen. Oh, and something that works on me (not sure about other women though) is a prolonged hug at the end of the date. If a guy gives me a short friendly hug (even worse if it's accompanied by a little tap) - it's all done for. Whatever spark there might have been, it's gone. I have fallen for a guy a little bit more just because he gave a nice whole hearted hug while saying goodbye. Just don't act like a friend and you won't be seen as one! I do that often. Lightly touching their hand when sitting, holding hand while walking, holding eye contact, joking around a bit here and there, smiling, kissing them at the end (if not kiss, at least hug them a little bit longer than usual), etc. Doesn't seem to do much of anything most of the time I will say that I have actually adapted a method of hugging longer at the end of date (if I don't end up kissing them), so it's funny you bring that up.
Lorenza Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 I do that often. Lightly touching their hand when sitting, holding hand while walking, holding eye contact, joking around a bit here and there, smiling, kissing them at the end (if not kiss, at least hug them a little bit longer than usual), etc. Doesn't seem to do much of anything most of the time I will say that I have actually adapted a method of hugging longer at the end of date (if I don't end up kissing them), so it's funny you bring that up. Well, then maybe the problem is elsewhere, lol.
lurker74 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 I've been, I'd say, on 30 to 40 first dates in the last three years. In all of that time, I've had one woman decline to have a second date. I am average looking, reasonably fit but not a fitness model, average job..I drive a Malibu. I am tall (6'2"). Why do I get so many first dates? I make sure they know they are both being pursued and that they are NOT out of my league (even if they are). I do this first by insisting on a night date for the first date. Ditch the coffee - if you don't drink, order a club soda or go play pool, but if you want her in the dating mood, make sure they atmosphere is right...night time, people around...stuff like that. Secondly, eye contact = confidence. Confidence is the number one thing. Look at her. Ask her questions and when she responds, ask her more...always get three questions deep... 1) "How's match.com working for you?" 2) "Wow...I bet you get lots of crazy messages, then...what's your craziest?" 3) "How did I find myself so lucky that you weren't already taken then?" (The last one is slightly self-deprecating but be careful with that...it can backfire.) And unless you are uninterested, most dates should end with a kiss. If it's going well ask if you can walk her to her car. That is usually a signal that you would like to kiss her. And the kiss will either confirm what both of you felt or prove that it was all smoke and mirrors. But be confident. There are plenty of others out there if she doesn't want you.
newyorker11356 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 (edited) I've been, I'd say, on 30 to 40 first dates in the last three years. In all of that time, I've had one woman decline to have a second date. I am average looking, reasonably fit but not a fitness model, average job..I drive a Malibu. I am tall (6'2"). Why do I get so many first dates? I make sure they know they are both being pursued and that they are NOT out of my league (even if they are). I do this first by insisting on a night date for the first date. Ditch the coffee - if you don't drink, order a club soda or go play pool, but if you want her in the dating mood, make sure they atmosphere is right...night time, people around...stuff like that. Secondly, eye contact = confidence. Confidence is the number one thing. Look at her. Ask her questions and when she responds, ask her more...always get three questions deep... 1) "How's match.com working for you?" 2) "Wow...I bet you get lots of crazy messages, then...what's your craziest?" 3) "How did I find myself so lucky that you weren't already taken then?" (The last one is slightly self-deprecating but be careful with that...it can backfire.) And unless you are uninterested, most dates should end with a kiss. If it's going well ask if you can walk her to her car. That is usually a signal that you would like to kiss her. And the kiss will either confirm what both of you felt or prove that it was all smoke and mirrors. But be confident. There are plenty of others out there if she doesn't want you. Haha, I like actually your 3 question approach. I'll use that one I can get first dates with ease, but seem to not be able to land a 2nd date most of the time. What's your secret? Haha Edit-I do think you being 6'2 helps a lot. I'm around 5'7 Edited July 9, 2018 by newyorker11356
coolheadal Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 I fully agree. At this point, I can pretty much tell if the woman is still into me or not by how they act after the first date (next day). Heck, I can usually pretty much even tell by the goodnight/got home safe text at this point (most of the time that is). Stop being so nice of guy yet you can come on stronger telling her what she needs to know. I am sure the approach is the same for all these women you date. Try changing your look and act. Because it's not working. Are you looking for friendship or looking for romance. A lot of woman are looking for those daring men. Your not daring your nice. Do the ordering for food you like steaks you like etc.. Okay we'll have that. Drinks make it known. Make her want to tear off your clothes, see you not doing that. Taking out the wrong type of woman. Type of Men and Women which one is you? Entertainer Feeler Thinker Controller Let's say you are dating a Controller, but yet your a Thinker you two won't work Next time ask these women how do they describe themselves any of the above would do. Feeler, Controller stay away from. See I am Thinker with a bit of Controller traits. I need to lead not let them do it. Otherwise your not going to be happy..
lurker74 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 Edit-I do think you being 6'2 helps a lot. I'm around 5'7 You're right - being tall is the one physical thing I have going for me. But all it does is give me an opportunity - not what wins a date for me. What wins is making her laugh, eye contact, making her feel sexy, and making sure that she feels that though I am interested, I don't need her specifically. The secret to all of that? I act like I am interested in her...her needs, wants, fears, stories, background, future, etc. And since I am a bad actor and acting doesn't work for me, it means that I ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE interested in her.
Lotsgoingon Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 (edited) I've been, I'd say, on 30 to 40 first dates in the last three years. In all of that time, I've had one woman decline to have a second date. I am average looking, reasonably fit but not a fitness model, average job..I drive a Malibu. I am tall (6'2"). Why do I get so many first dates? I make sure they know they are both being pursued and that they are NOT out of my league (even if they are). I do this first by insisting on a night date for the first date. Ditch the coffee - if you don't drink, order a club soda or go play pool, but if you want her in the dating mood, make sure they atmosphere is right...night time, people around...stuff like that. Secondly, eye contact = confidence. Confidence is the number one thing. Look at her. Ask her questions and when she responds, ask her more...always get three questions deep... 1) "How's match.com working for you?" 2) "Wow...I bet you get lots of crazy messages, then...what's your craziest?" 3) "How did I find myself so lucky that you weren't already taken then?" (The last one is slightly self-deprecating but be careful with that...it can backfire.) And unless you are uninterested, most dates should end with a kiss. If it's going well ask if you can walk her to her car. That is usually a signal that you would like to kiss her. And the kiss will either confirm what both of you felt or prove that it was all smoke and mirrors. But be confident. There are plenty of others out there if she doesn't want you. Lurker, this is impressive brother ... nice list ... You're structuring the date as a "date"! ... What a brilliant idea! And your conversation gets dating on the table--right up front. Very cool! It's funny ... I'm typically a coffee man myself ... But a year ago, this woman had I been friends with invited me to meet her at a bar. Oh ***t, I knew this was different. Before we always met for coffee or for lunch at health food places. I mean, I dressed differently for the bar. Sure enough, sitting next to her at the bar ... the energy was so much more flirty ... way more powerful raw energy than our coffee dates before this ... On the spot, I knew I wasn't attracted enough to this woman to get involved with. But ... the bar and and the way she talked ... total turn on ... The most turned on and attracted to her I'd ever been. The bar venue vs. the coffee shop. Huge huge difference--and this was with someone I was already friends with. The energy was so intense that walking around the city afterwards, we had the "what's up with us?" talk ... And I said, I wasn't into dating right now. True ... though really I wasn't into dating her. Looking back, she had slickly escalated things by inviting me to the bar. And the whole night was way more sexy than previous times I'd spent with her. The venue matters. Edited July 9, 2018 by Lotsgoingon
newyorker11356 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 Lurker, this is impressive brother ... nice list ... You're structuring the date as a "date"! ... What a brilliant idea! And your conversation gets dating on the table--right up front. Very cool! It's funny ... I'm typically a coffee man myself ... But a year ago, this woman had I been friends with invited me to meet her at a bar. Oh ***t, I knew this was different. Before we always met for coffee or for lunch at health food places. I mean, I dressed differently for the bar. Sure enough, sitting next to her at the bar ... the energy was so much more flirty ... way more powerful raw energy than our coffee dates before this ... On the spot, I knew I wasn't attracted enough to this woman to get involved with. But ... the bar and and the way she talked ... total turn on ... The most turned on and attracted to her I'd ever been. The bar venue vs. the coffee shop. Huge huge difference--and this was with someone I was already friends with. The energy was so intense that walking around the city afterwards, we had the "what's up with us?" talk ... And I said, I wasn't into dating right now. True ... though really I wasn't into dating her. Looking back, she had slickly escalated things by inviting me to the bar. And the whole night was way more sexy than previous times I'd spent with her. The venue matters. I think ultimately, if two people are into each other, the venue doesn't really matter that much (if at all). One of my best dates was at a coffee shop place in the evening. The chemistry (physical wise at least) was definitely there. We made out big time at the end when I dropped her off at home. 1
Els Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 (edited) It's really hard to give blanket advice, because every woman's preferences and attraction patterns are different. For example, someone mentioned physical contact - personally, lots of physical contact on the very FIRST date would be a turn off to me. Someone else mentioned flowers - while that clearly worked for him (he is, after all, married ), it would feel a little excessive for a first date to me, too. What really gets me to see a guy in a romantic light is how he treats me. While there are other things I need, like great conversation, shared sense of humor, shared values, shared interests etc - all of those can be present in a platonic friend as well. But the chivalrous gestures - opening the door, giving me the more comfortable seat, paying for the date, walking me back (but not inviting himself in), generally prioritizing my comfort and happiness - those tap straight into my primal attraction pattern by making me feel like a lady. I still fall head over heels for the SO every time he does that, and it's been 10 years. Again, as I said, it really depends on the individual. I'm sure some women will not enjoy that sort of treatment, as well. What sort of girls do you usually ask out, where do you find them? Edited July 9, 2018 by Elswyth 2
newyorker11356 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 It's really hard to give blanket advice, because every woman's preferences and attraction patterns are different. For example, someone mentioned physical contact - personally, lots of physical contact on the very FIRST date would be a turn off to me. Someone else mentioned flowers - while that clearly worked for him (he is, after all, married ), it would feel a little excessive for a first date to me, too. What really gets me to see a guy in a romantic light is how he treats me. While there are other things I need, like great conversation, shared sense of humor, shared interests etc - all of those can be present in a platonic friend as well. But the chivalrous gestures - opening the door, giving me the more comfortable seat, paying for the date, walking me back (but not inviting himself in), generally prioritizing my comfort and happiness - those tap straight into my primal attraction pattern by making me feel like a lady. I still fall head over heels for the SO every time he does that, and it's been 10 years. Again, as I said, it really depends on the individual. I'm sure some women will not enjoy that sort of treatment, as well. What sort of girls do you usually ask out, where do you find them? I LOVE doing that as a guy. Walking them back home, but not inviting myself in. Opening the door (or car door), giving them the more comfortable seat, paying for the date, picking a place close enough to where they live, etc. You did mention some women hate too much physical contact on the very first date, which is true. It's why I usually try to keep it to a minimum at the very least (unless she's showing that she's really into it). 2
coolheadal Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 These guys won't get it. But they are seeing the wrong type of women. Until they meet the right sort of women they will continue to get rejected plain and simple. There 4 types of personal traits we all share those. They're young guys they might not want to party and get wasted so these women 20 to 25 might not want what they want. Again it's up to them to figure what's the best course of action for their lives.
Els Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 I LOVE doing that as a guy. Walking them back home, but not inviting myself in. Opening the door (or car door), giving them the more comfortable seat, paying for the date, picking a place close enough to where they live, etc. Haha, yeah, the SO seems to enjoy doing that, too. It's admittedly difficult for me to understand, from this side of the coin, why he enjoys it. My best guess is that it makes him feel like a man, just like how it makes me feel like a lady. My second best guess is that he likes seeing me happy. Either way, I'm not complaining... 1
newyorker11356 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 Stop being so nice of guy yet you can come on stronger telling her what she needs to know. I am sure the approach is the same for all these women you date. Try changing your look and act. Because it's not working. Are you looking for friendship or looking for romance. A lot of woman are looking for those daring men. Your not daring your nice. Do the ordering for food you like steaks you like etc.. Okay we'll have that. Drinks make it known. Make her want to tear off your clothes, see you not doing that. Taking out the wrong type of woman. Type of Men and Women which one is you? Entertainer Feeler Thinker Controller Let's say you are dating a Controller, but yet your a Thinker you two won't work Next time ask these women how do they describe themselves any of the above would do. Feeler, Controller stay away from. See I am Thinker with a bit of Controller traits. I need to lead not let them do it. Otherwise your not going to be happy.. I googled those 4 traits, and I'd say I'm definitely a cross between entertainer and feeler. I'm definitely not a controller. I'm not too much of a thinker (even though I can be logical at certain times).
alphamale Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 being too much of a nice guy is turning these girls off 1
newyorker11356 Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 being too much of a nice guy is turning these girls off What exactly constitutes "too" nice? Besides, I doubt that's the main reason (if a reason at all).
preraph Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 Ask one or two of your old female friends (even if it's cousins or a work mate) to really be honest and tell them what happens. It's hard to know without seeing you in action. I believe you when you say you're technically up to standard physically because guessing otherwise you'd not get 25 dates a year. So it may be something personality, but suppose it can be grooming or hygiene, but I imagine personality hitting the wrong note. What do you talk to these new dates about?
ElKay Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 I LOVE doing that as a guy. Walking them back home, but not inviting myself in. Opening the door (or car door), giving them the more comfortable seat, paying for the date, picking a place close enough to where they live, etc. You did mention some women hate too much physical contact on the very first date, which is true. It's why I usually try to keep it to a minimum at the very least (unless she's showing that she's really into it). Haha, oh gosh, yeah, one guy kept touching my shoulders and I felt so shy! Especially since it was a hot day, so I was afraid my shoulders were sweaty... I would say all of those other actions are definitely safer until you know how touchy-feely the person is.
carhill Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 What exactly constitutes "too" nice? Besides, I doubt that's the main reason (if a reason at all). Be more of a prick and let them know you have a dick. Sounds rude but it works. 2
Recommended Posts