off2sea Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Hey all, There has been some discussions regarding handling an ex's birthday but now I am facing my birthday in the next two weeks. I am in a NC situation since last December with the exception of one email several months ago and one or two text msgs, again several months ago. Looking for some guidance in the event I receive that "Happy Birthday" email or text. I don't expect a phone call. Do I respond or just ignore? Thanks for any insight!
JS17 Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 I'm in the same situation although I hadn't thought of it because I doubt he'd do anything but I guess it's better to prepare for it. I'd appreciate some advice too
sundrop Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 If you are being cordule to each other, just reply with "Thanks" if he sends you a happy birthday. If you are not talking then don't respond. Hope you have a good Birthday.
NightsEcho Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Hey guys, I went through this exact situation 2 1/2 weeks ago. Whatever you do....don't contact them yourselves. What is the point? If you recieve some kind of message, be curtious...but don't go into details. They are probably just easing the guilt, if they contact you. In my case it was my ex's b-day. I just got out of the city for a day and left my phone at home. Good luck NE
dgiirl Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 I agree with everyone here. When it was my stbxh's bday (he's the one who left), I did zip all for it. Two months later, it was my bday and he sent me a one liner saying happy birthday. I responded with a one liner saying thanks. If you were the one dumped, then the dumper should be the one to make contact. And even if they make contact it's probably to ease their own guilt, so dont make a big deal out of it. But if you want to remain "friendly" then just respond with a thanks and maybe a smiley if they deserve that much lol
JS17 Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Part of my problem is that my birthday is the same as my area code and I always made jokes about it so I'm afraid all of the ex's will come out of the woodworks since it's so easy to remember The only one that would concern me though is the one I was posting in reference to. I doubt that I'll hear from him though. He's a cold heartless bastard and I didn't send him a happy birthday anything a few months back when it was his. In the event that it happens I'll take all of your advice and respond with a simple thank you. Thanks all.
sundrop Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Part of my problem is that my birthday is the same as my area code and I always made jokes about it so I'm afraid all of the ex's will come out of the woodworks since it's so easy to remember The only one that would concern me though is the one I was posting in reference to. I doubt that I'll hear from him though. He's a cold heartless bastard and I didn't send him a happy birthday anything a few months back when it was his. In the event that it happens I'll take all of your advice and respond with a simple thank you. Thanks all. If he is the cold heartless bastard that you say he is, than respond with a f*** YOU.... not a Thanks....
alphamale Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 If he is the cold heartless bastard that you say he is, than respond with a f*** YOU.... not a Thanks.... thats not nice at all SUNDROP
sundrop Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 thats not nice at all SUNDROP Sorry, Alphamale, I would never tell you that.
goodfella Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Its my ex's birthday soon, i wont be contacting her because i will feel stronger in my self for not doing so. She didnt have much respect for my feelings. I also wouldnt gain anything from doing it apart from hoping for a text back or something.......which is habbit ive been trying to break (hoping that is)
Author off2sea Posted September 2, 2005 Author Posted September 2, 2005 Wow, thanks to all for your advise and insight. If I do get the msg, I will wait a couple of days and give a simple "thanks." In the meantime, I will be on vacation for a few days which always does wonders for clearing one's head. Again, you all are awesome...
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 I picked up my kids from my exH's the night before my 40th, and he said Oh have a happy 40th birthday. That's all I got plus he helped the kids make me computer cards. I thought he would call me on the day but he didn't. Did I care? nope lol it was just something I noticed afterward. I called him while he was on vacation on his birthday. I even made my mom call him. His parents emailed me but I half expected a card in the mail, and a phone call but also got nothing. I guess I know where I stand with his family now. We've been sep since Jan05.
kscholze Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 I just had that happen to me. Had talked to my ex 2 times in about 3 months over text msg. The last time she told me she was done so I got on the NC train. Well a month later she texted me "Happy Birthday, I gues I wont bother anymore". I responded simply "thanks hope all is well". Then I saw her two days later and she said she loved me and missed me and maybe she made a mistake. Well she was also back with her ex. I did what I could to convince her I still loved her. She then accused me of pushing her and told me she made up her mind and was happy with her ex. Do what you will but it only ended up hurting me again.
smile95 Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Geez lots of b-day! Mine is in 3 wks too! I get scared he will call then, but who am I kidding???? I do not need to prepare! When did he ever think of someone other than himself? He would never call on my b-day!!!He never even did when we were dating! lol-Altho last time he returned aftr a month, he called to say Happy Easter????? What a great excuse to call......maybe I should be prepared?....altho that would mean he would remember and the only way he would is if it is programmed in his palm pilot-he would not remember by choice!!!ok had to vent a little~sorry
brooke7777 Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 I agree with everyone...don't contact them if you were dumped, let them contact you. I was just in this situation. My birthday was last week. My ex called and left a message conveniently when he knew that I would be at work and unable to get to my phone. His message was sincere and I could tell that he was still not himself...so that made me feel good to know that he's still hurting. I returned his call, but I played the same game...I called back to say thanks when I knew he was at a concert and wouldn't hear his phone. Don't be too upset if he/she doesn't contact you, especially if the break up is still relatively new. It might still be too hard for them. Happy Birthday to everyone!
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