anxiety_aerial Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 (edited) This story might be a little bit "long" as well as I'm unsure whether it's worth to make an attempt. Any advice is highly appreciated. Last night, I went out with 4 of my friends to the bar. We all had an amazing time together, and then I saw this girl. I even got introduced to her, we talked about certain series and movies we had in common. One of my friends described her on how she is (since she knows this girl very well). And she has said so many things that are really matching the things that I look for in a girl. We had some more drinks, I felt a little bit intoxicated so I stopped drinking and had something to eat. I noticed that my last bus was leaving at 02:30. One of my friends had a talk with me about her. I was sitting by the bar while this girl was sitting at some other table. I just sipped my beer, my friend came to me and asked. "Hey, do you want me to ask it for you?" with "it" he means the number for me. I was shy as hell, as I haven't dated since late February. I agreed, and said "Yeah dude, go ahead. I have to go sadly otherwise i'm gonna miss my buss." He did it for me, he actually said. "A mate of mine, you probably know him as D (using only my first initial due to privacy reasons). Look, he really likes you and he's wondering if he can get your number." Funny thing is, she didn't say no. But she just said "I'm a little bit old fashioned, but if he wants it then he has to ask it himself." I totally agree with it. Too bad I didn't do it that night... I felt like an insane idiot for not asking it in the first place. My other two friends called me in afternoon (the next day when I woke up super late) and told me, "D, it was noticeable from both sides that there was some interest. You even heard it from R that she said (what I quoted above). And, that she was willing to talk with you more and that she definitely seems interested." They told me, "D, come to the bar next week again. She'll probably be there, and then you can ask it without a doubt!" Is it hopeless to think that she'll be there next week? Even if, should I even approach to her and say "hey, we've met last week at the bar. We talked about series and so forth. How are you doing" Or something like it. Edited July 7, 2018 by anxiety_aerial
FMW Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 You should certainly go next week and see if she's there. If so, then you definitely need to go talk to her. Just say hi, no need to remind her of your talk, she should remember you. If you continue to get along well then ask for her number. You'll know whether or not she's receptive to giving her number to you by how she acts - if she's eager to talk and continues the conversation then ask! She's unlikely to spend more time talking to you if she wouldn't be willing to give you her number. 1
Author anxiety_aerial Posted July 7, 2018 Author Posted July 7, 2018 Thanks for the reply! Yeah, it definitely sounds like a good idea. Is there anyone else willing to add something to this?
fredflint Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 There are only three possible reasons she didn't want to share her number. She didn't trust the person she was supposed to give it to (with it), she's not that interested in you, or she's doing a power play (wants to make you chase her). The first option is the only one that would not dent my attraction to her, but there's a problem here - that's contradicted by *what she actually said*. So if the first option is true, you already know she's a liar, or at least not straightforward. So she's either 1) not straightforward 2) not interested in you; or 3) manipulating you Forget her! Don't jump through hoops for a woman ever. She blew her chance at winning you.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 Forget her! Don't jump through hoops for a woman ever. She blew her chance at winning you. Ah, no. If anyone blew their chance it was him by sending a friend to get her number. That would be a turn off to me as well. 2
fredflint Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 Ah, no. If anyone blew their chance it was him by sending a friend to get her number. That would be a turn off to me as well. Well sure, I'm not saying that wasn't a mistake too... what you and I are saying are not inconsistent.
FMW Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 She didn't pursue you, you didn't pursue her. So right now it's a draw in my book.
Sunlight72 Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 Um, no. If you see her there, don't remind her you met before, and don't ask for her number (not the way it sounds like you intend to). If you see her, talk to her. In the first 3 or 4 minutes talking with her, if she gives you ANY impression she is willing to speak to you, ask her on a date. Specific time and place. This means you have a whole week now to plan at least two places / events you'd like to take her. Have two in case she's busy for one, or what ever. If she says yes, you can ask for her number so you can text her the details. Then put away your phone and talk about other stuff - not the date unless she asks more about it. You want a date. Her number is secondary. 2
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