blackwidow290 Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 In my previous job, which I recently left, I was working as an assistant to 10 executives. One of them was a man 13 years my senior. In the past, I have caught him checking me out across the room, with his body pointed towards me. We have maintained eye contact for over 10 seconds. His mouth seemed slightly open and his face flushed. He always complimented me on being amazing at my job (I am a hard worker!) He stopped by my desk once, I told me that "he was impressed" We made eye contact and smiled at each other. A manager that was nearby was surprised and taken aback when he heard the executive compliment me openly. He doesn't seem to do that for anyone else. Once I resigned from my job to go back to school, he sent me an e-mail that started with ..........................PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN'T TRUE..................... Then, he proceeded to compliment me on being the best assistant he's ever had and that I should use the experience as a stepping stone in my career. When I saw him in person, he was all whiney and seemingly upset about my resignation, but also very curious as to what I would do next. He wished me "good luck" about 7 times, and he seemed to act resentful but he was smiling at the same time. This man was displaying his emotion, I think to try to be manipulative. The next day, I added him on LinkedIn, displaying all my coursework and career plans..and during my 2 weeks notice, he kept coming by my desk daily to try to help me. I think he felt he had to "save me" but I didn't want to be saved... I'm going back to school to accomplish things on my own. But he was so insistent on trying to help me, when I really didn't ask for his help. Basically, what do you want, I will give it to you, so that I would stay at the company. Im going back to school to get a math degree, and he took it as him not being young/hip enough. Every time he passed my desk, he would just stare, stare, stare. Once, he even paused and stood there staring at me, as if to read me. He would say my name every time he passed by, when he would stare. The last time I saw him, he was nervously stuttering by name as he walked by my desk..and he awkwardly asked if "I'm keeping busy".. and because it was so awkward, I just froze up and didn't respond. You could see the hurt on his face, as he frowned. I don't understand why all this admiration and attention. The assistant job is so easy, and doesn't even display my full talent. But why does he want to run favours? Is he attracted? This man is very powerful (makes over a million a year), has a big ego, alpha male, and I think he thinks he's the king of the world or something.. which is why he felt that he could openly leer at me. He tried so hard to relate to me, mirroring my body language.. but it felt so pushy.
basil67 Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 Sounds like he was trying to get laid. I find it interesting that you had time to analyse all that body language though. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 A good assistant is hard to find. You said you are a hard worker. There aren't many out there like you. He could just be upset that he now has to train somebody else. He could genuinely want to help your career. If he was romantically interested in you, now that you are connected on LinkedIn, he knows how to get in touch with you. A powerful businessman earning a 7 figure income knows how to ask a woman out. He didn't get where he is professionally without knowing how to pursue his goals. Your body language may have conveyed that you found him "pushy" which he read as uninterested so while I can't tell you if he was interested, I can predict that he'll never ask you out.
Marc878 Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 He has a crush on you. Make no mistake about that. This happens all the time. 1
stillafool Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 If you are not interested in your married boss and are leaving what difference does it make if he's flirting or not? You must enjoy it thus this thread.
JDJ Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 I guess some people enjoy analyzing all of the subtleties and histories of human interaction. Maybe I am one of those, since I am on this site! But when it comes down to making a decision, I tend to boil things down to essentials. What do I see in this case? He likes you. You don't like him. So nothing to be done there. Leave him and thoughts about him behind. Even though he has a high income, you make it sound like he has nothing to offer in terms of career help either, since you are going a different direction. So just keep it pleasant until you leave your job, and then forget about him.
Lotsgoingon Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 (edited) Wow, great story. Yes, he definitely likes you and is attracted to you. No doubt about that. You say your job is relatively easy ... but I don't know ... the difference between an assistant who is really fast and thorough and one who is merely good ... can be huge! Also, you must have a personality that this guy really likes. People LOVE working with others with great personalities. Being around happy people can help our own mood ... and you might just have the energy and personality that this guy in particular likes. Heck he might just get a kick out of crushing on you and lusting after you ... As they say, you must be a looker! ... He might have looked forward to seeing your face each day. Throw away your modesty if you want a real answer to this guy's behavior. He really likes you. You know why he likes you ... it's just your modesty might getting in the way. Good to steer clear of his offers to help if you don't feel comfortable with this guy. If you were desperate economically, you might feel you need to accept his help, but you don't sound desperate. Great story! Edited July 7, 2018 by Lotsgoingon
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