goodfella Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Having pursued my ex for a 15 months or so after the initial breakup, wanting and hoping for us to get back together. Only to find that you have just been an emotional and social crutch for her to get over me and move on. She now has someone else so hope has been shattered for me and hearth crushing pain has started yet again. Im on a strict NC rule from now on. Was just wondering if anyone has any ideas how i deal with the overwhelming feeling of shame, foolishness and stupidity in what i let myself do? I just want to punch myself in the face and call myself an idiot over and over again for doing so much for her and for not thinking of what i really wanted in life to make me happy. Then there is the feeling of jealously coz she now has what i havent which is happiness!.......stupid idiot *whack!* idiot *whack!* *whack!* If u what to read all about it go here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t69752/
sanne Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 well you just have to understand that we all make huge mistakes sometimes. love will really skew our judgement if we let it take control of us. what you need to learn in the future is how to separate your emotions from rational thought. don't worry, all of us here have made monumental mistakes, and the first step towards any sort of progress is forgiving yourself.
RecordProducer Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 You didn't do anything shameful. You did what you felt you had to do. If it were career and not love and you were pursuing it for long just to realize that it wasn't meant to be, would you feel the shame? Actually I see it as the opposite. You fought - you lost... for now. Maybe she will come back to you later. But at least you fought for your love and didn't just let it go. You rose above your pride.
Author goodfella Posted September 1, 2005 Author Posted September 1, 2005 But at least you fought for your love and didn't just let it go. You rose above your pride. Thanks for your thoughts I do think think myself as a strong person and will fight long and hard for what i feel is right and love. But there is a point when you are just hitting your head against a wall, i failed to see this and its makes me question my own feelings of insecuirity as to why i couldnt let her go? I hope one day someone will fight for my love as much as my ex:) I also believe i would do the morally right thing and make NC and walk if i didnt feel the same way, thats the only thing that stops me from feeling like the lowest possible grade of sh*t... that i could do that, something that she was obviously incapable of. I just hope i dont bump into her again and her new man, as he has probably heard all about the situation by now, just knowing that he would look at me and what i struggled to keep would make me feel very ashamed
Jerkalert Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 Rather than give into the shame. You must take this moment and let her have control over your happiness or take the control into your own hands. You have been blessed with free will and it is up to you on what you choose to do with it. Now is the time to reach your full potential and make yourself better.
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