Can there be a second chance if both parties were really hurt?

[HURTANDCONFUSED81]

Can there be a second chance...later on if two parties heal?

My ex and I broke up in June. I brought it up and he said it was mutual because he could tell I was losing interest. However, during the next 3 months...we would always fight because I guess there wasnt that fine line of what we could and coudlnt do- obligation crap. I know he was offended when I broke up with him for the hell of it...didnt cry, nothing. But then he left for 3 weeks for job training ...he finally found a job after 1.5 years out of college. The reason why I would sometimes say harsh things to him to make him feel small wasnt because I didnt love him....because I wanted to push him to find a job...and I was also angry because he was always passive, passive with work, passive with his future, passive with the relatinoship. I had to do all the work and I never understood why.

 

So after 3 weeks while he was away..I wrote some harsh emails inquiring why he never ran after me or try to fix things like the way I try to fix things right after a right. He never gave me an answer. After 3 weeks..he comes back we try to talk and discuss howt o be friends. BUT I said I coudlnt..becuase I still loved him and had feelings for him - that I realized I didnt speak to him with respect during the relationship and that I genunely wanted to give it a second chance.

 

I asked him if he loved me...he said "I thought I did but I realize youre not the right one for me". That hurt . He said we could be friends...I said I cant , and that tonite would be the very last time he would ever see me or talk to me ever again. I bit my lip but the tears came rushing out..and he said don't cry. I coudlnt stop. Then I said, I still want to know why you never came after me...and why I had to do all the workd the second year..and that typically a guy would do anything to show that he loves a girl and wants her..he said another harsh reply "I guess you answered your own question then".

 

My question is this, I know I hurt him relaly bad in the relationship..making him feel small. I never meant to but I felt was the only way to get him to push himself. He now has a job (even though I was harsh I stood by him and did what I could to support him). Is this all out of anger...or do you guys think he meant it? Its been 5 days now and I have not called him nor will I.

I realize things more clearly now..and one thing I hated about him was how PASSIVE he was. For once I want to be pursued and not be the aggressive one. I cant believe of everything Ive done for him..I get told to my face that he didnt love me and that it was over like that.

 

Please help!