knight192 Posted July 4, 2018 Posted July 4, 2018 Hi, I'm currently "dating" 3 girls, but i'm not too sure where I am going - Perhaps you can help me ? Girl 1 - I met her through an app, just had 1 date but it went really well. We are setting up a second one. I really like her, she is really interesting and I can tell there is a connection somewhere. Only problem i'm not too sure how much I am attracted to her. I guess I have nothing to lose carrying on dating her ? Girl 2 - She is a colleague. Unlike Girl 1 I am really attracted to her, we also have a good connection and she is a really interesting person, funny, etc... Only problem she is 8 years older than me (I am 28). I already have been with older women: 6 years old gap and over 10 years but it has always sounded like a problem to me for the long really long term. We "dated" once she invited me to join her with her friends. I am about to ask her for drink tomorrow. Shall carry on dating her and see what happen ? Girl 3 - Matched on Tinder, we got on really well and she seems very pretty. After few days exchanging, I asked her to meet up and she answered she really would like to but she would be busy this week so need to be the week after. I told her it was fine. At the end 1.5 weeks later she still didn't come back to me, so I chased her and only few days later she came back to me saying she was sorry and gave me her number at the same time. So we started talking again for a few days by texts then I asked her to meet up again (that was last saturday). She never answered. Shall I chase her again ? Looks like there is always a "problem". I am not too sure what to think of all of this... So thanks for whose will try to help me.
MidwestUSA Posted July 4, 2018 Posted July 4, 2018 Do NOT chase #3. She's off the list, she's a flake. You've been on only one date with each of the others. No harm in going out again with both of them. At some point, the answer will become clear. Or, maybe neither will pan out. It's too early to put all your eggs in one basket. 4
Lotsgoingon Posted July 4, 2018 Posted July 4, 2018 Skip number 3 ... chasing is futile ... she knows you're there. If she wants to see you, she'd let you know. Go out with 1 and 2 ... and see what you feel, how you enjoy their company and feel the attraction to them ... (and attraction to you) ... 1
smackie9 Posted July 4, 2018 Posted July 4, 2018 Keep looking...why waste time on; not too attracted, can't seem to get a date, and she's too old for the long term. These should be deal breakers if you are serious about finding someone for potential long term/marriage, etc. It leaves you wading in the water. None have any direction. 1
damni Posted July 4, 2018 Posted July 4, 2018 Girl 3- A flake, will go nowhere. I would give Girl 1 another date to see if an physical attraction can develop, if not then best to end it. Girl 2- No harm in keeping on dating, if you want children in the future then that is an discussion that would need to be had.
basil67 Posted July 4, 2018 Posted July 4, 2018 You're not at decision time yet...and none of these have even proved potential. Girl 1 - you've only had one date. It may go nowhere Girl 2 - you put the word date in inverted commas, which means it wasn't a date - it was hanging out with friends Girl 3 - is not interested
coolheadal Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 Hi, I'm currently "dating" 3 girls, but i'm not too sure where I am going - Perhaps you can help me ? Girl 1 - I met her through an app, just had 1 date but it went really well. We are setting up a second one. I really like her, she is really interesting and I can tell there is a connection somewhere. Only problem i'm not too sure how much I am attracted to her. I guess I have nothing to lose carrying on dating her ? This one you can think about more if you don't want her move on to the next. Not that complicated. Your making seem that way. Girl 2 - She is a colleague. Unlike Girl 1 I am really attracted to her, we also have a good connection and she is a really interesting person, funny, etc... Only problem she is 8 years older than me (I am 28). I already have been with older women: 6 years old gap and over 10 years but it has always sounded like a problem to me for the long really long term. We "dated" once she invited me to join her with her friends. I am about to ask her for drink tomorrow. Shall carry on dating her and see what happen ? You have a problem if they're older than you that's your ego. You either deal with it or just keep her as a colleague and forget about anything serious about her other than business. Even if you data once your ego is kicking in your head she's older than you. Girl 3 - Matched on Tinder, we got on really well and she seems very pretty. After few days exchanging, I asked her to meet up and she answered she really would like to but she would be busy this week so need to be the week after. I told her it was fine. At the end 1.5 weeks later she still didn't come back to me, so I chased her and only few days later she came back to me saying she was sorry and gave me her number at the same time. So we started talking again for a few days by texts then I asked her to meet up again (that was last saturday). She never answered. Shall I chase her again ? This one is a dud, forget about her... Move on with Girl #1 instead. Looks like there is always a "problem". I am not too sure what to think of all of this... So thanks for whose will try to help me. You need to figure out on your own head which one to be with. Best choice here is Girl #1.. Girl #2 two more of business partner for work and some friendship only. Girl 3 forget her..
alphamale Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 You need to figure out on your own head which one to be with. Best choice here is Girl #1.. Girl #2 two more of business partner for work and some friendship only. Girl 3 forget her.. i'd pick door #1 also
Noproblem Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 In my opinion, you should always go to the girl that you have good connection with and attraction toward. However, you said you have problems with girls who are older than you, so yeah, please leave them be; they will find their match and you should stick to the age crteria that you are comfrotable with. So, keep looking!
firestar Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 I think you should keep your options open and date everyone. You're at a beginning stage with all these girls. You will find after 2-3 dates with each girl how you really feel about her. Then you'll be able to decide. I wouldn't reject the older woman. I have dated lots of guys up to 10 years younger than me and we had great chemistry and had fun going out together. What if it turns out that she is the one you can fall the most deeply in love with? Rejecting her now eliminates any possiblity of that. The third girl has a beautiful Tinder photo. She will be pursued by many men. Your best bet is to wait and meet her the following week. Beautiful women have many options. If you want a chance to date her, you will need to be patient because she has many dates lined up. When you meet her in person you can decide if you want to keep pursuing. I have found through many years of dating that life offers many possibilities. By rejecting people for flimsy reasons you close the door to great life experiences. Hope this helps.
snowboy91 Posted July 5, 2018 Posted July 5, 2018 I wouldn't bother with #3. She isn't putting in enough reciprocal effort in my opinion. That narrows it down to 2, but I think I'd go on a couple more dates with both of them just to get to know them a little more. Because it may be the case that you develop a better connection with #2 and there might be no long-term issue. Or there is and you develop a good connection with #1. Or it turns out to be neither. But you need more information before you make that decision.
Author knight192 Posted July 6, 2018 Author Posted July 6, 2018 I will follow your overall advice and carry dating #1 and #2 and see how it goes. Just one question as it is the first time multi dating happens to me - Am I allow to kiss any of these girls before I make my mind up or not ?
coolheadal Posted July 6, 2018 Posted July 6, 2018 I will follow your overall advice and carry dating #1 and #2 and see how it goes. Just one question as it is the first time multi dating happens to me - Am I allow to kiss any of these girls before I make my mind up or not ? You can kiss but take my advise go after Girl #1 and skip the other two..
CrazyKatLady Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 Why do you need to choose right now? Nothing sounds serious yet. I personally would never date at work again because the man never once thought of any consequences since he had the upper hand and wielded it like he was Thor or something...huge red flag to me for anyone even attempting to pull that move on me now. And you can see why. If you go for her, she isn't even aware of the disregard to her reputation or yours at work if things sour, if you are juggling two other women and trying to decide who to date...why don't you tell those ladies what you shared here and see if they choose you instead...just saying. Problem solved in a split second. Good luck with your pickings...
TheFinalWord Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 None of them. Girl 1, you aren't that interested. Girl 2, if you can keep it casual and it won't upset your work life (generally advised that you don't crap where you eat) Girl 3, Tinder flake. You're a back up at best. Rinse, repeat...
SmartDude Posted July 7, 2018 Posted July 7, 2018 Ahh yes, the wonderfull world of dating. If your luck has been anything like mine lately, all 3 options will vanish soon and you will be left with nothing.
Author knight192 Posted July 8, 2018 Author Posted July 8, 2018 Looks like it's all about girl #2 now. Had another date with Girl #1 today, and i am clearly not attracted by her. Girl#3 I didn't chase her as advised. Obviosuly she didn't come back to me either.
TheFinalWord Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 Looks like it's all about girl #2 now. Had another date with Girl #1 today, and i am clearly not attracted by her. Girl#3 I didn't chase her as advised. Obviosuly she didn't come back to me either. Sorry man. It's a numbers game.
todreaminblue Posted July 9, 2018 Posted July 9, 2018 Date girls 1 and 2 be open and honest with both.....decide who you would like to continue with after a few dates.....number 3 girl is a no go ...let her go....deb
Recommended Posts