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How to get over feeling like a loser after begging ex girlfriend back?


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Posted
As heart breaking as that sounds it's true. She had already detached herself emotionally that's why sometime before the break up she was acting horrible which led us to argue and fight so bad to where she timed it to call it quits. That's why I hate her. And that's why the B said "I hope you won't hate me". I'm not sure how I ran into this person. I hope she karma for that. I went so far out my way for her and her child. Words can't explain.

 

It's true. When people choose to end it, they've thought about it for a long time. It's not a in the moment decision. So she started moving on well before the relationship ended. When you were dumped, you had to start from Day 0, fully in shock and fully heartbroken, while she was already on day 100, 80% over everything with a clean headstart on moving on. Again, the coldness and distance you felt before the break up was her guilt. Some people also try to illicit a negative reaction from the person they know they're hurting so that they can justify their actions. "I hope you don't hate me" means she would have hated you if this happened to her and anyone would feel anger in your position. So feel angry. Nothing wrong with it.

 

But for your well-being going into the future..make sure you don't let her ruin you. She doesn't deserve that kind of power.

 

- Beach

Posted

Also it helps to forgive them for hurting you. You don't tell her this but forgive her for yourself and don't hate her. That is part of letting go.

Posted
Yea I forgot to mention, i made a dedicated promise to quit looking at her a social media a few months ago, and to this day I still haven't viewed or reached out to look at any of her social media or anything. So no I haven't been snooping, along with nc that I initiated a couple months back. The nc and the fact that I haven't seen her social media in a few months is making me curious. I just feel less of a man because of the humuliation. But like you said who cares what she thinks? I have to keep telling myself that.

 

Block her trouble-making butt and be strong and move on with your life. You will feel better once there is no chance of her contacting you so that you don't even have to worry about what to do if she does.

Posted (edited)
And btw, I a talking to a woman who I really like..your saying as far as dating I shouldn't date so, does that mean I need to back off of her as and quit talking to her? I'm confused here.

 

If you like this girl and feel something good, then certainly explore it if you wish to. Just know that the heart will get involved and those are where your wounds are atm. Be aware of yourself.

 

- Beach

Edited by Beachead
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Posted
If you like this girl and feel something good, then certainly explore it if you wish to. Just know that the heart will get involved and those are where your wounds are atm. Be aware of yourself.

 

- Beach

 

Yea that's what i fear the most i hope i will be able to forget about this later on this year. I just want to let this go already but obviously my heart cant. If she can, then why is it so hard for me?

Posted
Yea that's what i fear the most i hope i will be able to forget about this later on this year. I just want to let this go already but obviously my heart cant. If she can, then why is it so hard for me?

 

Because in your mind you still see how it could have been. You still see the person she pretended to be with you and you miss that. You miss how you felt. You put your heart into it. You chose to believe and trust in it. Left yourself vulnerable. She left that. She left the best you had to give in that period of time. She spat on that. Took a piss right on it. I won't make it sound pretty. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. To all of us who've been left, that's how it feels like. Turns out, what you thought you had wasn't actually what was. The whole situation makes you feel like a fool. You feel played. Your ego is damaged. And while this is all going on..everyone is sitting here telling you to "Move on" or "Get over it" like it's the easiest thing in the world.

 

No. It takes time. You'll be good when you're good.

 

And that's alright.

 

- Beach

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