Second date didn't go as well as first date. Still wanna ask her out on a third date.

[regdent]

First date (last Saturday) felt magical. My heart almost skipped a beat the moment I met her because I thought she was so damn pretty. Despite the initial nervousness, the date went very nicely, perhaps thanks to multiple drinks we had. Great convo, a lot of touching and kissing. Liked a lot of things about her and felt like we had quite a bit in common. We were at the bar for nearly 5 hours.

 

Then second date happened on a Thursday. She had a highly stressful day at work. I had an okay day at work, but I usually feel a little tired after work. We had dinner at a restaurant both of us liked, but I think I picked a wrong venue. They played music so ****ing loud, so I couldn't even hear her that well. The food got me a little sleepy. I felt like I wasn't presenting the best version of myself that she was attracted to. I felt like I wasn't as playful and energetic as I was the first time we met.

 

We still made out passionately at the end of the night and stuff, but it just didn't go as I anticipated. We briefly talked about doing something outdoorsy next week, but who knows if it will actually happen. She sent me a thank you text after I dropped her off, and I thanked her as well.

 

I really don't know where I stand after this second date. I feel like I didn't it plan it right. I wanna see her again and will text her to ask her out on a third date, this time on a day when both of us are well rested and don't have to worry about work and such. When I ask her out, do you think it is okay to write something like, "You know what, last time I thought it was slightly off. Venue full of noise and distraction, us being stressed and tired from work. Poor planning on my part, my bad. Why don't we go hiking and fly boarding when we're well-rested and don't have to think about work and stuff? So say Saturday?"

 

Constructive criticism and feedback welcome Thanks.

[d0nnivain]

Chalk it up to long work days & a noisy venue. Plan something low key this week & then the outdoorsy date for next weekend.

[smackie9]

A nice quiet hike, take some pics, find a nice spot with a view, relax. Invite her back to your place for some takeout, a bottle of wine or two...enjoy.

[Happy Lemming]

Date planning is tough... Not every plan is going to be great, sometimes things don't go as planned. I doubt she is holding that against you. You tried, but it wasn't 100% for either one of you.

 

You'll do fine on the next date, don't sweat it.

 

Personally, I've picked some great dates that I've taken women on and there were a few "stinkers", as well.

 

Live and Learn...

[introverted1]

When I ask her out, do you think it is okay to write something like, "You know what, last time I thought it was slightly off. Venue full of noise and distraction, us being stressed and tired from work. Poor planning on my part, my bad. Why don't we go hiking and fly boarding when we're well-rested and don't have to think about work and stuff? So say Saturday?"

 

I think you should just ask her out and not talk about all the stuff that was "off" about your last date.

[Lotsgoingon]

You're doing great brother ... just a few thoughts.

 

There's no need to apologize for the date. The intention is what mattered ... and you guys ended up making out ... Any date that leads to good making out at the end ... is a good date.

 

You can acknowledge the flaws of the previous date by saying in your next request ... "Let's head someplace ... where the music isn't too loud ...or where the music is quieter" ... or some place where "we can really relax and talk."

 

Or you can say you're looking forward to seeing her again ... and sitting in a place where you guys can hear each other well. Boom. Shut up. Don't apologize.

 

Apologizing for the problems of the previous date can easily suggest desperation. You will be implying that it was your job to provide her with a perfect experience. That is not your job. Your job was to show up and present a good version of yourself.

 

This woman's decision-making about you isn't going to turn on the fact that one of the places you visited was loud. If that's her decisive factor, then this ain't the woman for you ... let her go.

 

You say you don't know where you stand ... Well ... how do you feel? ... and what do you want?

 

Just send her a note saying you enjoyed the time (assuming you did) ... and saying that you'd like to see her again ... and you look forward to talking to her in a quieter setting. Again mention "quiet" as a witty aside.

 

If she says yes, she wants to hang out again, you throw out an idea. If she says no ... or ignores you ... then let her go and feel the satisfaction of going for what you want and for not hiding on the sidelines of life.

Edited July 1, 2018 by Lotsgoingon

[gone_girl]

It's very sweet of you to worry about the impression you left. Don't beat yourself up at the text though. Don't say about the poor planning or how you were both tired. Just say it was louder than you hoped, and that the food was good but a bit heavy! How about a hike with lots of oxygen? GOOD LUCK!

[snowboy91]

I agree with the others here. The only reason the date went "bad" from your point of view is due to the noise, and your tiredness stopping you from being your brightest self. The right person will overlook that.

 

The date could have gone a lot worse - a really bad date would be if she was an awful person. But she seems good enough that you're keen to see her again, so set up that third date. No need to mention the previous date, maybe mention it in passing when you do see her but don't dwell on it.