Shandy Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 This is kind of trivial but I want some opinion on it. My boyfriend prefers to talk to me after 9pm so he doesn't use up his minutes. I just called him at around 8:30 and he says, I'll talk to you after 9, okay? Do the guys here do that to their girlfriends? I don't think he does that to any of his other friends, just me. But then again he talks to me the most. Am I taking this too personally?
Art_Critic Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 My boyfriend prefers to talk to me after 9pm so he doesn't use up his minutes. :lmao: No you are not .. Your BF is being a cheap MoFo
Craig Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 :lmao: No you are not .. Your BF is being a cheap MoFo Maybe he's saving up for a ring.
noname Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 i think you may be overreacting. if you have something important to say then he should speak to you, yes. but if you are just calling with idle chit chat, you can wait 30 minutes. poor or not, that sh*t adds up. and depending on where you live the cost of living can be high. i have a few friends that do that to me. me? i'm an ass and i would talk to you, but then again i pay extra some months... tell him to switch to a carrier that his nights will start at 7pm...
dd1463 Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Hehehe... I have free incoming calls so I don’t really care but I sure don’t call anyone till after nine.
noname Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Hehehe... I have free incoming calls so I don’t really care but I sure don’t call anyone till after nine. free? even after the first minute? what f'n company is that?
dd1463 Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Nextel... Unlimited free incoming from anything company, anywhere, landline or wireless.
Author Shandy Posted September 1, 2005 Author Posted September 1, 2005 Thanks for all the replies. Yeah, the calling after 9 thing has become like a habit in my relationship. It's a minor annoyance I have to live with I guess. He actually suggested that we use the same phone company so we can talk for free all the time.
mixwell Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 He actually suggested that we use the same phone company so we can talk for free all the time. See that shows you that its the only reason he does that. Doesn't he have a landline or something that he can call you from ?? If not think about changing your plan or carrier to accomidate your phone needs..
noname Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Doesn't he have a landline or something that he can call you from ?? i don't even keep a landline anymore. where i live, it is more expensive than a cell phone. and,... no need since c phones cover long distance...
kgal Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Well.. some ppl want to keep their phone bills as low as possible.. if this bugs you, just tell him.. maybe he will pay a few extra bucks and call you earlier.
nosybear819 Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 It's hard to beleive that your boyfriend is so cheap that he won't ever talk to you before 9..kinda funny 2. Have you two been dating long? I've known men who will call from anywhere if they really want to talk with me...a friend's house, work just to say hello, a pay phone, remember those? I once had a guy friend who had free incoming so he'd call and we'd chat for a couple but then he'd always say okay call me right back you know I get free incoming. I'm cheap with my minutes too but I'd sacrifice them if the person is worth my .10 per min. So I don't know if anyone else said it and I don't wanna rain on your parade but it sounds like an excuse to me. You better ask short change who the he's using all his daytime minutes on. Hope you work it out.
Outcast Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Or he could be somebody smart enough to try to save some of his money. One of you could get a better phone plan - why does it have to be him?
Author Shandy Posted September 1, 2005 Author Posted September 1, 2005 His company actually pays for his phone plan. Most of his minutes go toward work related stuff. The company reimburses up to a reasonable amount, after that he has to pay. It's not that I mind waiting until 9, I'm just afraid this could signal something else, like he's not willing to spend a little extra money to talk to me. But since the opinion seems to be split on this one, I think I'll just let it go. So no one here has this kind of arrangement with their SO?
flowergirl Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Well, Shandy: My SO and I talk before 9 everyday, usually with me calling him so that he doesn't spend his minutes. He has the same kind of arrangement your guy does, a Nextel phone that his company pays for, and he's a pretty frugal guy, so, it might not be a big deal that he wants to talk to you after 9. Does he make excuses not to talk to you if you call him? Are there other problems in your relationship? Just set calling guidelines, tell him you'll call him so he doesn't spend his minutes, and if he fudges on that, then there may be biger problems. Good luck.
seachange Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Well...I dunno. I guess waiting till after 9 makes sense to me. I mean, if it's just for a few minutes, or an urgent call, then no. But if you're going to have one of those hour(s)-long conversations where you're not talking about anything in particular, just want to hear each others' voices - it doesn't seem cheap so much as practical, to me. Because that way, you can have lots more of those conversations. I guess I'm coming it at it from an LDR perspective, if that makes any difference.
Skeered Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Ok here's my outlook on this..I did this for 9 months with my BF...we had a LDR and there was a 3 hour time difference between us...so me callin him at 9 it was midnight his time...or for part of the time it was 2 hours difference but still point being he understood that my cell phone was my only means of communication and my cell bill was getting really high for overage minutes for just my normal phone calls I had to make...but by me calling him it was free long distance and so he didn't have a bill either. It was a fair trade off...I also called him at 4AM my time which was 7AM his time to talk to him before work...he is now living with me so there is no more funky phone calls...but the understanding was there as to why I would call only after 9...I talked to him for the most time and my minutes would get used up fast. So yes I think that you might be overreacting just a bit and should understand that he's doin this to not be limited in how long he can talk to you...it's all good in my opinion...at least he's wanting to talk to you right?
clandestinidad Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 Yep, my bf used to do this to me too when we lived 4 1/2 hours away, he'd wait till 9 to talk to me. But could talk to all his friends and family at any time, since they were supposedly with the same company. His excuse was ALWAYS "well, I dont want to use all my minutes & pay extra, and theyre free after 9"...so using my excellent logic skills, I told him that it was a sorry excuse since people using the same company have free usage, so the minutes that you sign up for and pay every month arent used on them...so you'd still have aaallll those minutes youre paying for...besides the fact that for some reason (even though he has a very well-paying job) his parents still have him on their plan, and theyre paying it!!! (hhmmm...excuses and lies for everything, huh)
Jtizzle Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 dont take it personal....minutes are high these days...40cent for every minute you go over and that adds up on idle chit chat during the day..wait til 9 when his minutes are free or you can wait til the weekend to do all that talking..im sure he probally gets free weekends..that outta solve ya problems
nosybear819 Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 everyone here must be as shady as your man if they think you are over-reacting. anyone whom may be in a HEALTHY relationship would never have a scheduled time to talk to you. i mean, you can't expect him to call you whenever, but considering he calls only after 9, i think he may be married or atleast living with another person. sorry, i am not bitter or lesbo or the type of woman that "whips" her man, i am just smart and would not let myself be taken for a ride like that......
Author Shandy Posted September 2, 2005 Author Posted September 2, 2005 I'm glad some people here have this type of arrangement with their boyfriends too. It makes me feel a lot better. Nosybear, I am 100% sure he's faithful to me. He's just kind of frugal. And we do talk before 9 if it's necessary. Usually tho, I don't hear from him until after 9. We usually tell each other about our day and say good night. One phone call a day on average.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 We usually tell each other about our day and say good night. One phone call a day on average. that sounds like a lonely relationship for both of you.
Author Shandy Posted September 2, 2005 Author Posted September 2, 2005 that sounds like a lonely relationship for both of you. Really?? Of course we see each other too. But do couples usually talk more on the phone? He's my first boyfriend so I have nothing to compare to.
KelvinKDX Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 His company actually pays for his phone plan. Most of his minutes go toward work related stuff. QUOTE] I have the same situation with my cell phone (Nextel). My company frowns on too many personal calls so i find myself calling my gf after 9pm too. Some companies are really cutting back costs (and employees) - he does not need anything that would put him in a bad light with his emplyeer if he values his job. btw - i really do not like talking on the phone just to talk. If i (or her) have something important to convey fine. Just idle talk - not me. A "Hi Honey - i'm thinking about you while i'm in Japan" is fine, but i do not want to sit on a phone for 15 minutes if there is nothing more to talk about. Is it just me? I don't know. Maybe more guys are like this too.
Pendawn Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 btw - i really do not like talking on the phone just to talk. If i (or her) have something important to convey fine. Just idle talk - not me. A "Hi Honey - i'm thinking about you while i'm in Japan" is fine, but i do not want to sit on a phone for 15 minutes if there is nothing more to talk about. Is it just me? I don't know. Maybe more guys are like this too. Not just you. IMO a lot of guys just don't "enjoy" talking on the phone. Phones are for making arrangements and passing info - checking you got home safely, making date arrangements, checking to see how you are inbetween dates etc. That's what SOME men in my experience think the phone is for, they aren't into long conversations 3 times a day just to chit-chat about the day. I don't think it's anyone's place to say what is right or wrong in terms of phone contact in any relationship - as long as you are comfortable with it, that's all that matters. I wouldn't be offended if a guy only wanted to talk when i was at home and able to use my landline, rather than calling me more expensive times on my cell. And Ic ertianly wouldn't assume he was married, as long as I had seen his home/met his friends/some other tell tale sign.
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