ledude Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 Hey all! This is my first post on here. When I went to the university this girl caught(we hung out had fun, made her laugh etc) my eye but she had a boyfriend at the time so I did not do anything. I ran into her about 6monts ago on random on a night out, we spoke a little bit and then we our seperate ways. Now I decided to contact her again(to ask her out eventually), I have been chatting with her on fb for a couple of days now. She always responds in a happy tone and asks me questions back, but what bothers is that she takes a very long time to respond 3-4 hours and even 24+ hours to get back to me. Now I know she has a summer job and is busy but should it really take this long to respond? Im only sending 1 msg at the time. Now im wondering if she is just responding to be polite or is she even interested?, given the long reponse time. Should I continue talking to her or move on? Any advice? //Thanks
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 You are some guy she knew from school who is messaging her. She doesn't know you want to ask her out. She probably doesn't have FB on 24/7. Ask her to meet then make assessments about the potential for this relationship
Author ledude Posted June 29, 2018 Author Posted June 29, 2018 Does she still have a boyfriend? nope, does not look it atleast
smackie9 Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 (edited) Why should she give you full and constant attention? You haven't even had a date yet! You are just some guy she started chatting with (again). She owes you nothing at this point. Stop whining about it and ask her out. Edited June 29, 2018 by smackie9 2
kendahke Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 (edited) she takes a very long time to respond 3-4 hours and even 24+ hours to get back to me. Now I know she has a summer job and is busy but should it really take this long to respond? Im only sending 1 msg at the time. Now im wondering if she is just responding to be polite or is she even interested?, given the long reponse time. Should I continue talking to her or move on? s So let me get this right. She's not a girl you're dating--she's just a chick you know from school. She's got a boyfriend already (and you don't know the status of her relationship, so stop speculating) and you're stressing out because she doesn't return your texts quickly? You're hardly a blip on her radar and she's not checking for you. She's checking for her boyfriend first, then her friends and then her job--your text most likely isn't in her top 5 things to be concerned about. If she is responding, it's most likely only to be polite because she's got a boyfriend already. Leave her be and find a girl who isn't in a relationship already. Edited June 29, 2018 by kendahke
Author ledude Posted June 29, 2018 Author Posted June 29, 2018 If I was not 100% sure about her being single I would not have started anyting
bathtub-row Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 You’re being obsessive. Not responding right away means very little in this case. Personally, I hate chatting with people online that I barely know. If a guy wants to get to know me, he needs to ask me out. End of story. And don’t ask her out via the internet. Call her. If you don’t have her number, ask her for it.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 If I was not 100% sure about her being single I would not have started anyting That's what I can't quite figure out: how did you piece together she is single? You said further up-thread that "by the looks of it", she doesn't have a boyfriend anymore. Am I correct in assuming you arrived at this conclusion just because you don't see photos of him on her profile anymore? Or did she actually tell you at some point that she is on the market?
coolheadal Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 Hey all! This is my first post on here. When I went to the university this girl caught(we hung out had fun, made her laugh etc) my eye but she had a boyfriend at the time so I did not do anything. I ran into her about 6monts ago on random on a night out, we spoke a little bit and then we our seperate ways. Now I decided to contact her again(to ask her out eventually), I have been chatting with her on fb for a couple of days now. She always responds in a happy tone and asks me questions back, but what bothers is that she takes a very long time to respond 3-4 hours and even 24+ hours to get back to me. Now I know she has a summer job and is busy but should it really take this long to respond? Im only sending 1 msg at the time. Now im wondering if she is just responding to be polite or is she even interested?, given the long reponse time. Should I continue talking to her or move on? Any advice? //Thanks Let me get this straight? She doesn't have a boyfriend, you and her just getting to know each other. You have to wait! You expect her to answer text that quick? Wait and see what happens. She's working the summer than means she going to be very busy. You just have to wait it out. If you can't then move with some other girl. If I was you wait it out.. Slow your roll as they say..
Lotsgoingon Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 Does not look like she has a boyfriend ... does not equal ... does not have a girlfriend. Start there. 1
JDJ Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Hey all! This is my first post on here. When I went to the university this girl caught(we hung out had fun, made her laugh etc) my eye but she had a boyfriend at the time so I did not do anything. I ran into her about 6monts ago on random on a night out, we spoke a little bit and then we our seperate ways. Now I decided to contact her again(to ask her out eventually), I have been chatting with her on fb for a couple of days now. She always responds in a happy tone and asks me questions back, but what bothers is that she takes a very long time to respond 3-4 hours and even 24+ hours to get back to me. Now I know she has a summer job and is busy but should it really take this long to respond? Im only sending 1 msg at the time. Now im wondering if she is just responding to be polite or is she even interested?, given the long reponse time. Should I continue talking to her or move on? Any advice? //Thanks You should move on. Her happy tone and interested questions about you are not enough for you. In fact, they bother you. You should find someone who will dote on you and soothe your fragile ego.
Author ledude Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 You should move on. Her happy tone and interested questions about you are not enough for you. In fact, they bother you. You should find someone who will dote on you and soothe your fragile ego. huh? Ok well reading the comments all I can do is ask her out I guess and she how she responds... 1
kendahke Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 (edited) If I was not 100% sure about her being single I would not have started anyting 1. You're not 100% sure because you didn't make that declaration anywhere in your initial post--you're playing catch up with the facts. You haven't talked to her about that specifically, have you? You're just speculating and that's the fastest way of getting your feelings hurt. 2. You still started it, so there goes that statement.... does not look it atleast Is not "definitely no" Here's the thing: even if she is free as the day she was born, she's showing you by her not arsing herself over your text that she's got other things going on that she'd rather put her attention to. That is "what is" right now, so put the brakes on your expectations, which are future resentments under construction. Edited June 30, 2018 by kendahke
Author ledude Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 which are future resentments under construction. english is not my native tongue, what do you mean by this? Should I put it on hold for now?
ExpatInItaly Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 english is not my native tongue, what do you mean by this? Should I put it on hold for now? It means you should keep your expectations low, so that you will not get upset when she doesn't meet them. You first need to establish whether or not she is actually single. Social media is not a reliable indicator of this.
kendahke Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 english is not my native tongue, what do you mean by this? Should I put it on hold for now? Expectations are future resentments under construction. When one's expectations (especially unrealistic expectations) do not get met, one will develop resentment from being disappointed. Expecting her to answer your texts on your time table has laid the groundwork for resentment over her ignoring your texts. Right now, you need to dial back your investment in this until she tells you that she is no longer with her boyfriend, she's done processing the demise of that relationship and she is free and clear to enter into something new. And I mean a face to face or voice phone conversation, not relying on FB stalking. I never post my personal business on FB (heck, I dont' post much on there anymore since it's turned into a police blotter). If they broke up since the start of this year, then all you're going to amount to is rebound guy--and those relationships rarely work out. In the meantime, date other girls.
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