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Does the marriage/relationship IMPROVE after affair!?


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I just wanted to know if you think relationships would improve after an affair....I know it is POSSIBLE, but I would think that it would take quite a bit of effort on both sides, like counseling and stuff like that!? Like, possibly they could get closer if they worked a TON at it, and tried to figure out what happened and why the affair happened... but I think.... a young relationship ( a year/two years... less than 5 years maybe even?) would not have much of a chance at working... I see marriage maybe that have been going on for like 20 years having more chances to work after cheating, of course, that's NOT a generalization, that's just my opinion.

 

With my BF, (not married), his GF said that he was meant to be with me, and we belong together, (odd), and we would end up together in the end anyhow (although she is still with him--she won't let him talk to me, because "she knows" I guess?!). MY H said that I only married him bc he was a safety guy, but what I have with the BF is love. Um, yikes.

 

I know there are no GOOD reasons for cheating. But what are some of the reasons people have? With me, H is boring, me and him don't have anything in common, doesn't really listen to me, not compatible sexually, he is into religion and I am not, controlling. I am no angel, either, OBVIOUSLY. These are just the reasons why I personally was not happy in the marriage. Again, not an excuse.

 

The bf said that his gf is never home so he barely sees her (she works overnight shift), she is also controlling (she def is), she thinks all of his ideas are bad, doesn't listen to him, and she also is mean to him; tells him that no one else will want him once they get to know him better, etc.

 

I doubt that these problems can just go away instantly!? I personally have tried counseling, and it has not worked..!!?!?

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